Women, what attracts you to a man?

Post Reply New Topic

Ah, yes, I think it's how they say my name. With warmth.

You can't fake that. People in customer service try and create a fake connection that way. They're told to say a person's name at least 3 times in a conversation to create camaraderie. But it always comes over as fake pandering. You know they're just trying to shoehorn your name in there.

When a guy really likes you and says your name, it's really nice.

I’ve always had a problem with all the fakery that goes on out there. I reached a point in life when it dawned on me I was getting my way much, much more than I used to. And I’d be down on myself because I wasn’t getting anywhere in life; people were just feeling sorry for me. But then I was, like, hey, I’m able to do all these awesome things and I get attention—how is that a bad thing? So I just quit questioning it. I became an active participant in it. Yeah, I hate being fake, going around with this big, dumb smile and greeting people I don’t even know like we’ve been best friends all our lives. I’ll be running along a busy highway and cars honk at me, so I just wave at them like they just paid me the biggest compliment, even though I’m perfectly aware they’re making fun of me.

At the end of the day, I’m still the guy on the stage singing, playing the piano, playing the clarinet, and on Feb. 9 I’m still the guy finishing a marathon while you’ve accomplished, um, WHAT, exactly?

So I keep smiling and being nice to people. Even if it’s forced, my thinking is it’s wrong to punish other people for being nice to me. Even if everything I’ve gotten in life is because someone else is just being polite, the fact remains that I’ve been rewarded for all that I do. So I try to give it back as many times over as my ability allows.

What I’ve discovered along the way is regular people don’t mind the fakery as long as you make some effort to appear authentic. Even if you don’t get it exactly right, they find the fact that you tried to be endearing. Accept it and say thank you. That’s about all you can do about it.

A man who is personable and has good social and interperson skills in general is going to attract more people and thus more women.

No.

Call centre people are not saying your name to be nice. I've worked in a call centre. You are told to use a person's name 3 times in the conversation. It's a goal you have to hit. It is fake.

It's totally not the same thing as having goid manners and being nice. I agree being nice isn't fake it's just good manners. But you can totally tell fake people. And I have no time for them. It's the uncanny valley effect. I know a few people like that and they rub me up the wrong way. They rub others up the wrong way too. If you force it it comes over as creepy. People are just too polite to say so... to your face.

You made the wrong conclusion. We don't need to assume lists with neurodiverse and neurotypical traits needs to be generalized to things neurodiverse men here has to deal with. A more reasonable approach is to let people know what traits are things related to neurodiverse women, neurotypical women or even all women. Then they can decide for themselves which group they want to target.

That's because they followed Fnords advice. They think they need to be attractive to as many women as possible and to flirt with as many women as possible. It creates a situation where flirting loses its purpose.

It's just people arguing over opinions now Kitty

someone summarized a list of comments made here , someone disagreed with the list , it has now escalated to point scoring

Last edited by SaveFerris on 14 Oct 2018, 10:26 am, edited 1 time in total.

You would never observe anything like that from me. I might try to steal looks, but that is as far as it would go.

I never said anything about flirting. In my opinion, if you’re interested in someone, tell them. All this “flirting” is pure rubbish.

Like I said, most seem to be completely unaware that they are doing it. Some will even deny it.

I love overhearing a man when he's speaking on the telephone. I can tell straight away if he's talking to a woman or another man by the way he adjusts his voice. Same with gay men speaking to men. It's really cute, tbh.

Yes I have seen fnord time and time again advocate just telling the person that you are interested. People would you please not try and one up on other posters and just post your opinion.

But removing your reference to fnord. Yes I think that flirting is done like that. Spread the net wide. I've been told to do that myself, but it's not my cup of tea. I'm cautious, so I observe to see if there is any interest, but I don't just flirt with all guys to feel good about myself.

I have surprised myself by flirting. I do it naturally. I can't flirt with someone I don't have a connection with. I can't do it as a fishing trip. It's funny, I was flirting with a friend of mine and I'm like, why am I doing this? Doh, coz I like him. It took me a while to realise. Which is stupid I know

Yeah, I need to just tell him now how I feel.

Going back to the original question. I like the way he says my name. I like his voice in general. I like that even though he is shy he knows what he wants and he has principles. I like that he has interests and wants to share those interests. I like that he takes an interest in other people. For some reason he thinks he's bad at conversation, but he's actually good at talking to people.

He's genuine. He doesn't pretend to like things that I like, but he doesn't put me down and he's not overly negative. When we talk about something he enjoys there is a sparkle in his eye.

You cannot with me. I never cared about my voice.

A lot of things seems like rubbish to you. Flirting and forming a mind-to-mind connection are the best things so should not be skipped.

Talking, on the other hand, is completely optional.

... has been thoroughly debunked. There is no such thing as telepathy.