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Do women simply just dislike Aspie men?

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kraftiekortie
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14 May 2020, 5:07 am

I have, and had, some of those characteristics, and was bullied because of them. I’m lucky I escaped severe injury.

But big deal. Most people outgrow this BS. Most people outgrow being a bully. Many people join the Human Race.

I had to learn how to stand up for myself.

I believe one must seek to move on from bullying experiences; otherwise, the bullies win. And you lose.



Last edited by kraftiekortie on 14 May 2020, 5:28 am, edited 2 times in total.

funeralxempire
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14 May 2020, 5:20 am

The Grand Inquisitor wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
I just remembered my childhood and sly while reading this, perhaps aspie males are generally disliked due to some sort of homophobia after all.

Not living up to gender expectations might be part of it in some cases, but it would seem self-evident to me that a greater contributing factor is a pervasive deficit in social skills and an inability to fit in with peers and other people.

There'd have to be a correlation between how likeable you are and how proficient you are in social situations. People who aren't very likeable, who are 'weird', and who don't have the required social skills to form friendships and connections with others are fair game for bullying and teasing, which in turn lowers their social status even more.


I don't believe either of you are wrong on this matter and that instead the balance between who's more correct varies depending on the environment you're talking about. A kid who's really socially gifted might be able to thrive at a school where his more socially average but otherwise identical clone would fail, but there's also degrees of being off-expectation that can't be overlooked no matter how socially blessed one is, and further, lots of odd ducks are also not so socially blessed to begin with meaning even if being very socially skilled might make up for it, it might be rare to have such a combination of traits.


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kraftiekortie
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14 May 2020, 5:26 am

It was assumed that I was a “teacher’s pet.” In truth, the teachers usually couldn’t stand me.

I was bullied because I didn’t understand social nuances, and because I put on a show every time I was teased. I frequently made an ass of myself.

That I was short, fat, and wore braces and glasses didn’t help, either.



kraftiekortie
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14 May 2020, 5:39 am

I was very “stereotypically” male. I liked sports and could talk about them. I also liked girls from junior high on.

All that didn’t stop bullies.



funeralxempire
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15 May 2020, 3:37 pm

Foo wrote:
Look around WP, most women struggling in the relationship sphere are in relationships, or have recently been in one, and most of the time it's with an NT. By ratio, it's a lot more than the men here who can't even get someone else to look at them.


Actually, if you were to do some looking around WP you'd be aware that there's a number of women posters who have expressed having never been in a relationship. :wink:

A lot of the same issues that cause straight men with ASD to struggle also impact other categories of people with ASD in pursuit of romantic relationships. Social norms might compound this for straight men, but insist we're the only ones who struggle shows that you don't even read the experiences of other people when they post them, or don't care or don't take them at face value which might provide some insight into why you struggle romantically.


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funeralxempire
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15 May 2020, 3:53 pm

Foo wrote:
funeralxempire wrote:
Foo wrote:
Look around WP, most women struggling in the relationship sphere are in relationships, or have recently been in one, and most of the time it's with an NT. By ratio, it's a lot more than the men here who can't even get someone else to look at them.


Actually, if you were to do some looking around WP you'd be aware that there's a number of women posters who have expressed having never been in a relationship. :wink:


I've lurked for many years. Proportionately, the odds are stacked against men to a much higher degree. Going into detail would require an inevitably extensive amount of discourse on genders where disagreement would persist until the end, so there's not much point to it.


Yes, if you're unconvincing and lack a case I will almost certainly remain unconvinced. Tis the way things go.


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15 May 2020, 4:16 pm

funeralxempire wrote:
Foo wrote:
Look around WP, most women struggling in the relationship sphere are in relationships, or have recently been in one, and most of the time it's with an NT. By ratio, it's a lot more than the men here who can't even get someone else to look at them.


Actually, if you were to do some looking around WP you'd be aware that there's a number of women posters who have expressed having never been in a relationship. :wink:

A lot of the same issues that cause straight men with ASD to struggle also impact other categories of people with ASD in pursuit of romantic relationships. Social norms might compound this for straight men, but insist we're the only ones who struggle shows that you don't even read the experiences of other people when they post them, or don't care or don't take them at face value which might provide some insight into why you struggle romantically.



I only know of one case ; there were few more before but all got relationships now as far as I know.

Btw those who choose to remain single don’t count either because it’s a totally different matter.

I am totally sure that this one wp woman I am referring to which is of type “I want relationship yet fail to have one” can’t relate in any form or shape with those who are “I don’t want any relationship because I am asexual/difficult/sick of men/whatever... etc”.



rick42
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16 May 2020, 2:03 am

Foo wrote:
Cutting through all the fluff; they don't like aspie men for the most part, OP. Not at all. That's the blunt truth. It's not their fault, but they aren't looking behind them giving you a second glance either. Women are attracted to socially assertive guys, they're wired like that. Look around WP, most women struggling in the relationship sphere are in relationships, or have recently been in one, and most of the time it's with an NT. By ratio, it's a lot more than the men here who can't even get someone else to look at them. Women are contended with this overall gender equation and aren't going to look at changing it anytime soon (it's impossible). I'm sorry, but platitudes aren't going to help you anymore than wallowing in self-pity.

Pursue your dreams and interests, that's ultimately what is going to make you happy. You're going to feel incredibly lonely and deprived of human affection, touch, etc. If you're religious, you can hold onto the idea of this all being a test, and perhaps you'll get another shot at it all properly. If you suddenly wake up with higher levels of social functionality tomorrow, maybe things will change. If you were female, you wouldn't have this problem. It's not going away.

Sorry, but there's no point beating around the bush.



Haven't posted here in a while and but yeah I guess you would be correct on this one. As of late I'm starting come more to terms that no woman will ever like me,and may as well just accept reality that I will be alone forever,as hard as it is for me to do so .I'm becoming more and more black pilled by the day,and accepting reality for what it is.When the odds are just so heavily stacked against you when it comes to this dating/opposite sex bullsh*t,then really,the only thing you can do is vent/rant about it,while at the same time pursing your interest/hobbies,accepting that you'll be alone forever,and just stop talking with women entirely. Maybe it's my lack confidence/depression that's talking,however from past experiences,and from what I see on here,unless you tons of money(basically rich or almost rich) or are extremely good looking,aspie men have very,very small chance to no chance of women liking us at all( even in a friendship sort of way). No one else beside us will understand or experience our position as apsie men when comes to the opposite sex.Not even aspie women since at the very least,they get male friendships,and often times dates/romantic relationships as well,unless they are very ugly or just choose not to have any relationships with the oppsite sex.



Last edited by rick42 on 16 May 2020, 4:10 am, edited 4 times in total.

Pepe
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16 May 2020, 3:25 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
Most people outgrow this BS. Most people outgrow being a bully. Many people join the Human Race.


Agreed.
My recommendation is to bash the shite out of the bastards before they join civil civilization. :mrgreen:



The_Face_of_Boo
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16 May 2020, 3:35 am

Quote:
Most people outgrow this BS. Most people outgrow being a bully. Many people join the Human Race.


Not really; most become more subtly jerks.



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16 May 2020, 4:37 am

Foo wrote:
Cutting through all the fluff; they don't like aspie men for the most part, OP. Not at all. That's the blunt truth. It's not their fault, but they aren't looking behind them giving you a second glance either. Women are attracted to socially assertive guys, they're wired like that. Look around WP, most women struggling in the relationship sphere are in relationships, or have recently been in one, and most of the time it's with an NT.


I'm going to make myself unpopular again by stating the truth. A lot of posts from Aspie males on WP seem to overthink this idea they can never find a life partner. But when you dig deeper, they often have an unrealistic view of an ideal girlfriend that they are never going to meet. Putting it another way, they are punching way above their weight.

It's not just they want an NT girl, they want a girl who meets their checklist. The longer your your checklist the higher the probability of lifetime celibacy.



The_Face_of_Boo
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16 May 2020, 4:49 am

cyberdad wrote:
Foo wrote:
Cutting through all the fluff; they don't like aspie men for the most part, OP. Not at all. That's the blunt truth. It's not their fault, but they aren't looking behind them giving you a second glance either. Women are attracted to socially assertive guys, they're wired like that. Look around WP, most women struggling in the relationship sphere are in relationships, or have recently been in one, and most of the time it's with an NT.


I'm going to make myself unpopular again by stating the truth. A lot of posts from Aspie males on WP seem to overthink this idea they can never find a life partner. But when you dig deeper, they often have an unrealistic view of an ideal girlfriend that they are never going to meet. Putting it another way, they are punching way above their weight.

It's not just they want an NT girl, they want a girl who meets their checklist. The longer your your checklist the higher the probability of lifetime celibacy.


That's an over-assumption, what makes you think that guys like rick, Marknis, and sly have long checklists? I have never seen them listing much.



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16 May 2020, 5:03 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
Foo wrote:
Cutting through all the fluff; they don't like aspie men for the most part, OP. Not at all. That's the blunt truth. It's not their fault, but they aren't looking behind them giving you a second glance either. Women are attracted to socially assertive guys, they're wired like that. Look around WP, most women struggling in the relationship sphere are in relationships, or have recently been in one, and most of the time it's with an NT.


I'm going to make myself unpopular again by stating the truth. A lot of posts from Aspie males on WP seem to overthink this idea they can never find a life partner. But when you dig deeper, they often have an unrealistic view of an ideal girlfriend that they are never going to meet. Putting it another way, they are punching way above their weight.

It's not just they want an NT girl, they want a girl who meets their checklist. The longer your your checklist the higher the probability of lifetime celibacy.


That's an over-assumption, what makes you think that guys like rick, Marknis, and sly have long checklists? I have never seen them listing much.


I don't want to identify anyone for getting in trouble but males on this forum have expressed a desire for a very particular type of girl



rick42
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16 May 2020, 5:14 am

cyberdad wrote:
Foo wrote:
Cutting through all the fluff; they don't like aspie men for the most part, OP. Not at all. That's the blunt truth. It's not their fault, but they aren't looking behind them giving you a second glance either. Women are attracted to socially assertive guys, they're wired like that. Look around WP, most women struggling in the relationship sphere are in relationships, or have recently been in one, and most of the time it's with an NT.


I'm going to make myself unpopular again by stating the truth. A lot of posts from Aspie males on WP seem to overthink this idea they can never find a life partner. But when you dig deeper, they often have an unrealistic view of an ideal girlfriend that they are never going to meet. Putting it another way, they are punching way above their weight.

It's not just they want an NT girl, they want a girl who meets their checklist. The longer your your checklist the higher the probability of lifetime celibacy.



I or many aspie men for that matter are NOT expecting a super model who's rich as a girlfriend. In my case,I just want a decent looking woman who's going to treat me well.That shouldn't be much to ask for.Hate to say this,but Foo is correct. The vast majority(over 95%) of women dislike aspie men and will never give us a chance,even in the best case of scenarios.We are losers according to the vast majority of women or,dare I say,maybe even all women. Women,including to a lesser extent, aspie women for that matter want a guy who's outgoing and has great social skills.We can't offer that to women,so we are the very last to picked,and far more times than not,we are not picked at all,even if we are not fat and have money. The average Morbidly Obese guy who has no money with decent social skills have more chance of getting a girlfriend,than I despite of being average weight and had a job before Covid 19. That's the brutal and sad truth.There's a such as involuntary celibacy or in my case True Forced Loneliness(TFL).



Last edited by rick42 on 16 May 2020, 5:25 am, edited 1 time in total.

cyberdad
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16 May 2020, 5:25 am

rick42 wrote:
I just want a decent looking woman who's going to treat me well.That shouldn't be much to ask for.


You say you want a "decent looking" woman but then you say this....

rick42 wrote:
IHate to say this,but Foo is correct. The vast majority(over 95%) of women dislike aspie men and will never give us a chance,


Are you sure you are giving yourself a chance with all girls?

If you want an easy route to happiness find a girl from a non-English speaking country, they won't be able to read "Aspieness" especially when they don't have a great understanding of English.



rick42
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16 May 2020, 5:48 am

cyberdad wrote:
rick42 wrote:
I just want a decent looking woman who's going to treat me well.That shouldn't be much to ask for.


You say you want a "decent looking" woman but then you say this....

rick42 wrote:
IHate to say this,but Foo is correct. The vast majority(over 95%) of women dislike aspie men and will never give us a chance,


Are you sure you are giving yourself a chance with all girls?

If you want an easy route to happiness find a girl from a non-English speaking country, they won't be able to read "Aspieness" especially when they don't have a great understanding of English.



Yes I do give women a chance.It's more like that they don't give me a chance. To be fair, I haven't really talked with women at all in the last 3 years,but what's the f*****g point when I already know what the results are going to be rejection due my social awkwardness alone.The problem isn't my looks or that I lack money. The problem isn't that I lack confidence.The problem isn't that I'm not trying to give all women a chance. The problem isn't even that I lack friendship because I used have male friends and women still didn't give a chance back then.The problem is that I don't have great social skills for women standards, and I'm not very outgoing. Some people are seen as losers to women,no matter what they do.You don't understand the struggle with the opposite sex since you're likely not a aspie male yourself,and don't struggle horribly with women because of it.



Last edited by rick42 on 16 May 2020, 6:08 am, edited 3 times in total.