I don't want to date poor people

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dating rich people isn't all that it's cracked up to be....

Who'd want to successful anyway? I don't imagine that you get a lot of free time to yourself and imagine you're constantly stressed out and busy. Surely a nightmare situation for an aspie? My desires are for a simple happiness! Life, Liberty and the pursuit of happiness like it says in the US constitution.

It is easy to say that because you don't want to date poor people you are a perfectly horrible person unfortunately life and love is not simple as that. If a person is poor you must first understand the reasons for their being poor. Some people are poor because they made perfectly horrid choices in life like abusing drugs, engaging in crime and getting caught, using others, being lazy, being antisocial and other ills.

Some people are poor because; they are disabled. Yet other people are poor because; they lack education or self esteem. Some people are poor because; they live in impoverished areas where there are no good jobs to be had. Poverty has no single cause hence to have a blanket answer for such a broad situation is impossible. What makes you shallow is to hate poor people simply because they are poor.

I make really good money but, I would date a poor person if they treated me right and genuinely loved me. The problem with dating a poor person when compared to them you are effectively rich is you don't know if they are with you for money or for love. Again however it is not as simple as that either. I'm a geek \ nerd. I love talking about quantum physics, nuclear reactors, space travel, time and other science related things. My tastes in movies run toward sci fi and documentaries. If a poor person is not well educated then we might not be a good fit. I grew up lower middle class so we had nice things, went out to eat dinner at nice places on occassion. I've been to art shows. I love collecting art. Over time as my income increased I learned to enjoy the finer things but at heart I am still the son of a blue collar dad who toiled at a job that left dirt under his finger nails and his body covered in coal tar. I am not ashamed of my humble roots so poor people are like going home which has its own pleasure I still enjoy.

When you boil it all down what matters is the person. A poor person might not share all your desires. A poor person might not be like you or share your upbringing and values. However poor people can bring joy into your life if you open you heart to the opportunity. There are a bunch of poor people I would not give the time of day to not because; they are poor but because; they are crude vulgar, common or worse. However there are some poor people I'd be honored to share my life with because despite their poverty they have beautiful qualities that enrich me just for the knowing of them.

If you turned away someone who loved and fulfilled you because of their impoverished station in life you are a damn fool. If you require someone to meet financial and other material social requirements before you date them it is not love you are looking for it is a merger partner. I'm not calling you shallow but, if you refuse to date a poor person just because they are poor you cheat no one but yourself.

I determine who I will date based on the quality of the person their ability to love and be loved unselfishly. Their ability to be honest when most people would lie. There ability to feel my pain and allow me to share their pain. their ability to infect me with the joy of living when I don't feel at my best. There ability to regain their joy just by me being with them at a moment of intense sadness. These are the things I value and those rich in these qualities are not poor no matter what their bank balance or social status. Maybe someday you will realize that the quality of a date is not defined by their amounts in their bank book and but rather by the quality of their heart!

You have a right to reject who you feel like rejecting!! You can love a rich man as much as a poor one! What's the difference!! I'm sure everyone here has been rejected at one time or another and may not EVER know why - furthermore, who cares why they reject. It matters who accepts. Just avoid rich sociopaths - they'll clean out your account. Make sure the person you are seeing has made their money by legitimate means and without hurting anyone.
It is your right to better your economic status through a relationship, especially if there is no chance that you can do this yourself. Sometimes, we simply don't have the means. Be true to yourself and the other person as well.

I don't blame you. It's like how I don't like dating fat people.

I don't like poor people either. No initiative. They always complain about the government not doing enough to help them but it never occurs to them to help themselves. The government is extremely unreliable so only a fool would rely on it.

To the OP -- these things are the individual's choice, and fair enough.

To RetroGamer -- digressing slightly from the actual topic for a minute -- poor people aren't always the same poor people relying on the government, with no initiative. Although having said that, even those who do rely in part or in whole on the government, aren't always undeserving of that, or lacking in personal willingness to "help themselves." There are people who need help given and that's what the system is for.

There is another element of the poor -- the working poor. There are lots of people who in fact work very hard, but they are in low paid jobs and stuck there for one reason or another, and not always due to lack of initiative.

Higher education isn't always available or affordable or practical, or -- particularly in the case of those on the spectrum, in fact -- someone may have to work less hours due to being overwhelmed, not a lack of interest in helping themselves.

There are also "poor" people with genuine physical disabilities who even though they still work, are also limited in what they can do or how many hours.

The working poor is quite a willing bunch who, due to a combination of the ever increasing cost of living plus limitations on what they can earn in life even when earnestly working, aren't poor just because of the reasons you think.

The ideal that if someone just works really hard and isn't lazy, they will make millions or found empires just isn't actually true, and the belief that everyone who doesn't always make ends meet just isn't even trying is also a fallacy.

Old thread I know so my answer is for everyone to hear in case they are wondering the same thing. No it doesn't make you a bad person to not want to date someone poor, you just want someone who is financially stable and someone you can rely on for in case one of you lose your jobs so you are not struggling to live and survive. Also if you want kids, you also want someone who has a high enough income so you both can afford a baby sitter or child care and for in case one of the kids gets sick so one of you stay home and you are still earning a income.

True but I was thinking of people who live near me.True but I was thinking of people I know in Australia.

We don't really have a working poor as much, in part because our minimum wage is $17 per hour. Because of that our poor people tend to be unemployed.

I shouldn't be too harsh about poor people it's just that they remind me of how I used to be. Sometimes I still feel poor. Sometimes I still feel like it was my fault that I was poor. Like I should have taken more initiative to get money sooner. I know about lack of initiative all too well because that used to be me. Before that it was my parents.True but I know people who abuse the system. Like my parents.True again. Although with our higher minimum wage I think if you were poor here it would be better to get a job immediately rather than be an impoverished student, living for four years without income and incurring HECS debt.

I know in other countries like America it's common for college students to have jobs throughout their studies. That's not so common here. It takes time away from study and also means the student could end up with zero free time.

True that some on the spectrum may feel overwhelmed by the hours of full time work or full time education. I used to be. Over time I got used to it. In part because my shame from being unemployed was greater than my fear of full time hours.

Yes, not wanting to date a poor person makes you a horrible, horrible shallow person -- and you should contract a hideous disease which results in a slow, painful death.

There could be other factors that are indirectly related to wealth, aside from how much money they have.

1. A poor person could be really messy. I know a lot of people and most of them don't properly tidy their houses. Can you blame the OP for not wanting to visit her potential boyfriend in a house like that?

2. A poor person could be bad with money. Anyone who manages to become middle class and stay that way not only knows how to make money but also knows how to spend it wisely. That's why paupers who win the lottery often go back to being paupers in a few years. Poor people who gain access to more money often don't know how to spend it wisely. If the OP has money, she wouldn't want to let a poor guy anywhere near it. Even if he's not deliberately trying to milk her as a cash cow, a pauper could still lose money unintentionally (expected her to bail him out of his financial problems, expecting her to bail him out of credit card debt, expecting her to bail him out of prison, etc).

3. A poor person could be lazy. That could be the reason they're poor. The same person who's too lazy to get a job may also be too lazy to help with housework. A fictional example of this is Howard and Bernadette. Bernadette not only works very long hours (hence her middle-class income) but also has to do all the housework and fill in the tax return because Howard is lazy. Imagine if you work 8 or 12 hours per day, you come home and then your partner expects you to spend the next 6 hours on housework?

4. Physical attraction. This one applies equally for men and women. Middle class people take better care of their bodies. I first noticed this back in high school. In my pauper school many of the other students were obese like I was (at that time, I went on a diet and I'm no longer obese). I noticed hardly any of the kids going to private schools were overweight. This applies to adults as well. The poor people I know are too lazy to exercise. The poor people I know eat sugary food everyday because they don't have self-control. They don't go on a diet because don't have the patience for long term planning or delayed reward. Any person with the patience for four years of college probably has the patience for 6 or 12 months of dieting. Basically people who have a bad work ethic for work also have a bad work ethic for exercise. Poor people tend to be very fat. Middle class people aren't usually fat.

5. Self-esteem. Poor people can often have terrible self-esteem. I know because I used to be poor. I acted like I was jealous of my uncle's money but really I was jealous of his ability to earn it. I was jealous that he had the patience and self-discipline to get a bachelor of engineering. I knew I was just as smart as him. I also knew that I was far less patient than him, far less organized than him and had far less self-discipline than him. I know that if I had made better choices as a teen I could be like him. It made it worse that he was self-made. Like me he was raised by poor parents. Outwardly I hated him. Inwardly I greatly admired him while hating myself for not being like him. People can often project their self-loathing outwards onto other people. Imagine your pauper partner doing that to you. And do you really want a partner who's jealous of your wealth? Or jealous that you had a more privileged childhood?

6. Children. Ok this one does have to do with money. Two poor people can date and still have fun times together but if they end up married with kids, they really need the money. I don't need to tell you how expensive raising kids is and how money can give your kids an advantageous future. But middle-class people are also better parents for reasons that don't have to do with money. I know poor fat people who always buy their fat kids junk food. Middle class parents, not so much. Middle class parents encourage their kids to play sports. Poor parents encourage their kids to watch TV. Middle class parents teach their kids responsibility, including financial responsibility, e.g. how to balance their budget, how to save and all the other things my poor parents didn't teach me. Pauper parents teach their kids to spend it as soon as they get it. That's why I've seen poor families with expensive toys like iPads but no savings. Educated parents have educated kids. Statistics show that you're more likely to go to college if your parents did. When I was in my last year of high school I didn't understand the university entrance criteria. My mum couldn't explain it to me because she dropped out of school in the ninth grade. Too late I found out I'd selected subjects that didn't count towards my entrance score. My educated aunt made a very detailed plan for her daughter to get into university.

6. Healthcare. Middle class people have access to better treatment when they get ill. They also have jobs with paid sick leave. Imagine if your working poor partner gets sick and has to take a week off work. That's a week with no income. Maybe he was just scraping by in the first place and now this. Who will pay for his food and bills for a week? You? Imagine if your middle class partner is sick for a week. He'll get paid leave like I do. If your hypothetical poor partner has an illness that requires treatment, can he pay for it? Does he have health insurance? What if you have kids together? Will your kids have health insurance? I've heard of families being financially crippled because one of their kids has a serious illness and their other kids have to go without so their sibling can stay in hospital. Sure I know countries like Australia have socialized medicine. Let me tell you it's far from complete. Our public dental service is barely existent. Most Australians have to go to a private dentist. Have health insurance or pay $400 for a simple procedure. What if your kid needs braces? Without insurance that costs a lot. A really good example, my relatively poor aunt had the family gene. The girls in my family tend to be petite. She passed this gene onto her daughter. At one year old the doctor said she was underweight and accused my aunt of not feeding her. Really she was well-fed but she was a naturally small size. The doctor put the girl in foster care and accused my aunt of child neglect. Her brother, my well-off uncle had a daughter who also had the family trait of being very petite. At one year old she was exactly the same. They went to a private hospital and the more skilled doctor said her size was just genetic. The doctor had plenty of time to listen to them. The overworked public doctor my aunt saw didn't listen. My aunt tried to explain but the doctor paid no heed. Now my aunt and her husband are struggling to afford a lawyer.

7. lawyers. You never know when you might need one. Poor people can't afford one. Poor people can seriously get screwed by the courts. Many innocent poor people are in prison because they couldn't get a good lawyer. Their inexperienced, indifferent public attorney didn't defend them properly. Some middle class people can defend themselves because they are lawyers. Marry a lawyer and he could get you out of a jam.

Just remember that people who wear expensive clothes or have the most high end phone aren't necessarily financially stable. I know people who spend all their money on expensive things and appear to be wealthy yet have no savings and I know other people who are very frugal, wear cheap clothes, use an old Nokia phone and have hundreds of thousands saved and invested.

So if you're looking for a guy who 1) has savings and 2) doesn't waste his money, do not date the guy who wears expensive clothes, a gold watch or drives a sports car. If he had any money he's probably spent it by now. If he ever gets more money he'll spend it again just as quickly. Beware of those guys. If they're flashing their cash that means they're not saving it.

Last edited by RetroGamer87 on 01 Sep 2016, 4:56 pm, edited 2 times in total.

This kind of stuff is why players lie and pretend to be rich to get girls. If you are going to be rejected for being poor, then why be honest? Honesty makes you lose and deception makes you win.

I'm not usually one to pick on semantics, and this is far from the most offensive thing about the opening post, but generalising working-class people as "poor" is offensive in itself. It's a generalisation about not just the wealth of an individual but their emotional and mental well-being and capabilities.

In my subjective experiences of meeting and talking to middle-class people, this sort of unearned sense of entitlement and the lack of any serious challenges in life leads them to have a crude, superficial understanding of value and how meaning is imparted. They treat their arbitrary cultural values and traditions as an absolute good, because they take for granted the things that have genuine value.

So many assumptions, generalizations and judgments about poor people...yes, i ought to bow down to the middle class overlords who are just over all 'better' people.

I don't care the O.P doesn't want to date poor people...whatever they probably don't want to date someone who judges them on the amount of money they have. Even someone who has reached middle class or higher might be put off if one of the first compatibility questions asked is 'how much money and savings do you have?'

But seriously, pretty sure my entire household is below middle class, everyone works except for me because I am on disability but I don't sit around and do nothing. The house is not filthy and gross...dishes and clutter builds from time to time but that is to be expected when you have 6 people living together. Everyone is reasonably healthy, takes showers and does hygiene.

Also we keep up on all the bills, and if anyone is short their portion we still manage to get it paid on time and then whatever person was short is always good about paying whoever covered them back and we usually have money for recreation and what not....so idk seems money management goes just fine.

LOL....rich people could be messy, rich people could be lazy, too.

Have you seen "The Great Gatsby?"

I have observed a trend among some middle class people they seem to want to be upper class so they act snobbish and like they are the betters over their fellow middle class and poor people and try to only associate with higher class people. when they're only one half step above being poor themselves like the people they turn their noses up at.

What if they're unemployed poor people?Lack of challenge? Yeah. That's right. Middle class people never have any challenges in their life because law school or medical school are sooo easy
/sarcasm

Did you know that many middle class people actually grew up poor? So it's not like those ones have been privileged for their entire lives.

I know poor people who've never had a job or completed high school. I could say they've had a lack of challenge in their lives. Watching TV all day and smoking weed is not a challenge. Maybe the lack of work leads them to a superficial understanding of value and how meaning is imparted. i.e. They don't value an honest days work and they don't value money because they didn't earn it.