DataSage’s Alpha Male Guide to Meeting Women (JULY UPDATE!!)
Then you change how you define "being yourself." You make it a point to either see why you do what you know isn't helping you at all, or you force yourself to just do it until it becomes a part of you "being yourself." If you find that it's how you feel, you break the chains of the memories that are causing you to feel that way, cheapest way to do that is replacing the memories with more helpful ones and not getting discouraged that you are forcing those memories to be made. If you can get the helpful memories with one group, you can then see that you can get it with other groups.
If you are afraid of what they'll say when you initiate conversation, you force yourself to initiate as many conversations as you can. Maybe start with people who are forced/paid to be friendly if required- waiters if you are afraid of both women and initiating conversations, waitresses if you realize women are men without the small y chromosome... a storekeeper if you don't want to just get personal very quickly... hopefully you see the point, I ran out of quick and boring examples and figure you only need the standard 3.
If you just don't see the point of human interaction (aka random conversations), you force yourself to see that you can learn a lot of stuff you wouldn't normally just by not replying with one word answers (if you like learning new things), or see that you can experience feelings you wouldn't expect talking about the random things the conversation turns to (and the girl you should try to date will be the one to keep you laughing or entertained).
Being your best self:
Step1) Accept yourself for who you are
Step2) Find hobbies that you like, and do them
Step3) Expand your horizons (Martial arts, reading, learn nuclear physics, etc...)
Presto.
You're still you, except you have more about you to show others.
...alas, it only looks easy typed. The hard part is doing it.
This is something I posted elsewhere, but seems to fit here. I am explicitly not advocating any particular social structures or forms.
It appears to me that we have as a culture become disconnected from how our emotions work.
Emotions are stupid. I don't mean that in a derogatory manner. Rather, they lack intellect. They're also wired into our brains in such a way that they can override intelligent thought.
How many times have you heard a friend describe an ex saying, "I thought they were nice", when you thought the whole time that they were an ass. I've lost count myself. It's not that the ex had changed, it's that the friend's emotions were altering their perspective, deceiving them into believing the ex was nice.
At the cultural level, this diconnect leads us to think one thing is right while rejecting it emotionally.
Our basic biology, emotions and instinct place boundaries on what works and what doesn't. What is "right" intellectually may not be viable emotionally.
Step1) Accept yourself for who you are
Step2) Find hobbies that you like, and do them
Step3) Expand your horizons (Martial arts, reading, learn nuclear physics, etc...)
Presto.
You're still you, except you have more about you to show others.
...alas, it only looks easy typed. The hard part is doing it.
_________________
Break out you Western girls,
Someday soon you're gonna rule the world.
Break out you Western girls,
Hold your heads up high.
"Western Girls" - Dragon
This is from the epilogue of a book I read (called "Shyness" by Bernardo Carducci). I think it applies to the most recent posts. "
Shyness is not just about shyness. It's about living a successful and full life brimming with self-awareness, self-acceptance, and self-confidence. Rather than turning you into an extrovert, my goal has been to ensure that the negative side of your shyness no longer limits your choices. I never said you had to change, only that you needed to make better choices that will open you to many potential rewards.
" If you decide to read the book, I think you should be forewarned that I don't agree with all he says and the good information seems to be mostly around pages 250-307 (the rest of the book has good information too, but it's more spread out and doesn't deal with improving your current situation as much). [If you also are bothered by little details, he switches from the masculine to feminine a lot without regard to keeping it exactly balanced or keeping it to the traditional gender roles (which makes it acceptable), but that only bothered me while it seemed like he was trying to keep it balanced.]
techstepgenr8tion
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Joined: 6 Feb 2005
Age: 44
Gender: Male
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Yeah. That can be a good or bad thing though, depending on whether or not you can handle who you get with it in the end. Part of the reason I won't use it much is I already know the answer to that in my own instance.
from another thread:
Let's face the truth guys , we are under the mercy of the girls' choice , this is a basic nature and there's no way to change it unless inf your want to change your society into an arrangedmarriage-based society or to a ret*d masculine dominated society like the fanatic Islamic societies and treat women as a furniture.
As long that you live in a free society where dating is free then you'll still be under the mercy of serial monogamy rules==> the mercy of women's choice.
In serial monogamy system , guys ask out girls , the girl keeps rejecting guys till she is asked by the most 'suitable' guy.
So serial monogamy rules are very similar to the natural polygamy rules (not the islamic polygamy!): Females are the main players of the natural selection --> females are the ones who pick the males that most "fit" them (most fit them = that can provide best genes and security).
Nagging, whining , and revolutions will solve nothing ......if you are naturally an omega/beta guy then the best thing you can do is improving yourself , by improving yourself you became a better competitor and you increase somehow your chances to get a girl.
For a better help ,note that there are basically FOUR types of Alpha males in the current human society:
-The Knight (Strength): These are basically the pure natural alphas , the men with high level of Testosterone , the strong, tall , determinant , confident , masculine and handsome men. If you are not already one of those , it will be almost impossible to become one. A strong sport man who can achieve big wins can becomes a King/Knight (ie: the best footballers).This type of alpha might fade with age or can transform to the King type
-The King (Wealth/Social Power): The Kings are the successful men who can turn their success into great wealth and social power, this type of Alpha requires also some basic natural alpha traits found in the Knight-type like confidence and determination (ie.CEOs, great businessmen...etc) ...good physical traits might help too , it also requires mainly traits such as leadership, common sense, courage and good social skills. It is not impossible for Aspies to be one of those but keep in mind that without good-developed natural skills such as social skills and leadership that won't be easy at all.
-The Magician (High Intelligence): Naturally,this is the least attractive Alpha type to most females but they are alphas nonetheless and can attract 10% of females at least. The Magicians are the men who can achieve great things using their high intelligence ,education , great knowledge or great wisdom , the requirement for this type is one : High IQ/Intelligence or at least 1 useful savant skill(rare cases). The Magician doesn't need to be physically strong, confident or leader or any of that sort ....he just needs to be very smart in his field he works in. A Magician who can turns his achievements to success and wealth can becomes a Magician-King (ie. Bill Gates). Aspies with high intelligence should choose this path to Alphahood but if you don't naturally have a very high IQ (above 130)/intelligence or at least 1 useful savant skill this would be almost impossible.
(Even a physically handicapped very genius man such as Steven hawking can be considered as a Magician alpha because his natural high intelligence compensates all the other bad genes ..but of course this case is very very exceptional.)
- The Bard (Talent/Fame): The Bards are the people who get fame through their high talents ie: good singers, cool hardrockers,Hollywood actors, good musicians, excellent painters...
The Bards are the MOST attractive Alpha-type to females nowadays , they can harvest thousands of females' hearts.
Since fame brings wealth and since fame requires sometimes attractive looks then Bards are usually in combo forms mostly as Bard/King or sometimes in Bard/King/Knight , Bard/King/Magician exist but are rare cases (ie. like the savant pianist kids that can even compete adult pianists....will be Bard/King/Magician when they become adults).
Aspie can becomes a bard ....but of course he needs to have great talents.
There are the same types of alphas among females ....but here we are talking about competition between males which is much rougher than the competition between females (competition between females is caused by the artificial monogamous marriage system).
Wow! Glad to see my topic is still here. I went on a 4 month hiatus due to graduation and job hunting.
I think some of you touched on some very good points, especially Dishman and BlackBull.
I would be interested to hear if anyone here has actually tried using the stuff I posted, and if they've had any results. I'd be glad to give feedback, and if time warrants it, I may actually update this thing again!
I think it's a means to an end...that end is a DATE. Getting to know someone further. I was once in a Taco Bell with a friend, when some guy made some quantum physics-related comment to me. TOTALLY hot to me, but also totally weird in that context. If he'd have been in the campus library or a bookstore, with some context to the discussion, I probably would've carried on a conversation with him, rather than just a 2-sentence exchange. The "alpha male" thing is just to get through the initial BS. THEN you talk about your true passions and weird obsessions. Figure out if you like her though, before putting yourself all the way out there. Afterall, you can always reject her for being boring, lame, or mundane, before Miss Generic gets the chance to dump on you because you're "weird". If the girl doesn't like the real you, she's not worth your time. When I meet guys in "real life" (I prefer internet dating), I have to dance the dance too. I can't just sit there, struggling to making eye contact, make a random off-handed comment about an obscure foreign film, how I prefer spiral macaroni to elbow, and then begin pontificating on the evolutionary divergence of the human species. That poor guy is going to RUN, not walk, away from me. I have to laugh, smile, have the right body language...play the game. Then, down the road, when some of my more odd obsessions and personality traits come out, he'll like me enough not to run (if he's worth a damn).
So...that's what a 27 year old woman thinks of "the guide". Also, it can work for some of the mildly clueless women out there, who aren't sure how to react to advances, because they can't decode what the advances mean.
Reading things like "it is hard wired in their brains" and "they're competing over us" pretty much put me off the article (because they are disrespectful and clearly not true in general), though it's true that you have more chances to make new friends or perhaps more if you leave your own comfort zone. Almost truism in fact, but an idea that many of us I'm sure would feel comfortable ignoring (with AS or without)
Anyway, beyond that I can hardly comment, because relationships have to a large extent just passed me by to date
this reminds me of 'The Game' book
EDIT: link:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Game:_ ... up_Artists
EDIT 2: OP, you're a SA Goon?
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Masterdebating on chi-city's south side.......!
I just wanna know if this Love and Dating site is exclusively for males. It seems like there are more males posting in this forum than females. I'm not saying all guys in this forum do it, but the stacks look pretty high and I've been on WP for quite a while.
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I live as I choose or I will not live at all.
~Delores O’Riordan
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