Why is Asperger's unattractive?

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I would not say that it is that much Asperger itself that makes people unattractive , although an egocentric attitude can be a bit off-putting. It is more education and secondary psychic conditions, in particular lack of modesty/awareness, temper problems and sociopathic behaviors.

Some Aspergers, mostly girls and young women, are physically very attractive. Asperger gives them a very young and a little bit languishing and lost look (young Claudia Schiffer or Brigitte Bardot for example, or Clay Marzo).
Then some very HF Aspergers appear more "charismatic" to many (not to me), because they have a better sense for affective empathy and for the atmosphere in a group, they care more about the effect they have on others and take charismatic people as role models.

For that reason, online dating is not for me. I think that in my case IRL dating is slightly better than online dating. Women do make eye-contact with me from time to time. I often don't know exactly what they want (there is no clear facial expression, which I could assign a meaning to), nor dare I ask.

I agree. I can come with hot female models who happen to have Asperger's Syndrome, and for whom it is obviously easy to get a partner.

I know Claudia Schiffer and Briitte Bardot (not Clay Marzo), but I didn't know that they have Asperger's.

sounds like just faking interest in the stuff then. I prefer full on interest. even if she shoots better then me I don't care we still go shooting together. women tend to be better and more natural shots anyways. I just would enjoy actively doing activities together that we both love. but I guess I don't really have much of a pride to get embarrassed by. I'd be like upe and shes better at then you too if my guys though a fuss about it. now if you you were mean about it. and always putting it in my face that you're better that would be different but I hate it when so called friends do that too. theres joking about being better and theres being a jackass about being better.

the cuddles come first no? then later the beating. idk I only got the beatings. but most I've heard about the guy is a stand up guy for weeks to months before he starts beating them. so its kinda like if I got a great gf and she died. I'd still had enjoyed the time we had even if her death depresses me and makes me never want a relationship again. I still had more good than a person who had no relationship at all. beating anyone is wrong. I'm not jealous of getting beat. I'm jealous of the time up to that. I'd really like to be touched and held by another living person. even if later on it doesn't work out I'd still got to experience that.

you say that until every time you have sex with him you wish it'd just end already cause hes so bad. that you'd rather not have sex at all rather then do it with him. see so many post online of women talking about leaving their bf and comparing him to past lovers. good sex matters to a lot of women.
religious people want virgin to marriage. most guys fantasy of being the one to have first sex with a virgin. its a big big big guy thing. never met a guy who didn't want it. they talk about it like its a sport or trophy to get to take a womans cherry. its to them getting something that no other guy will get and they got it first. I doubt most guys would tell women this though especially if said woman they are dating and isn't a virgin. at least if they care about her as it'll just make her feel bad.

yep its a hard confusing balance for me. I want to just jump her but then other part of me is terrified and anxious. but by time I do I'll be crazy for her. or atleast I think I guess I'll never know.

fa=forever alone?

while i only got 5ish dates from okcupid/pof it still proves what you say is wrong. i've also got like 20ish messages from women. even if all ignore me after awhile. its still like 20 times better then what I got in irl which is 0.

Couldn't be bothered to read the last seven pages of posts.. probably a bunch of the same from the first 10+ pages anyways. Too many other things to do with my time.

I've actually been compared to Spencer Reid before & also identify with all of those other characters as well as Data. In fact, at one point a year or so ago (long after I'd begun treating myself via probiotics etc) a mutual friend told me that my twin brother is like Data and I'm like Data with the emotion chip installed.

I don't look like Spencer Reid, but if you mean good looking, well, I've been told I'm good looking. A coworker made a comment that I look like an Abercrombie & Fitch model. Some customer last night told me I'm "cute all over" & was asking me to take my shirt off lol outside the bar/restaurant.

Honestly, if I were any more perfect I'd be gay.. oh wait, I am. I kid, I kid. I don't think I'm perfect, buuuut, I do have a lot going for me.

I think we'll have to agree to disagree. Giving cuddles doesn't make it ok to hit someone or to be emotionally abusive. Dealing with that isn't worth the cuddles and kissing. Cuddles and kissing alone do not make a relationship.

Yes, Fa means forever alone.

Making eye contact does not by itself indicate attraction. There are a lot of other non-verbal cues that are present and more often than not, if she's nervous but interested in you she *won't* make eye contact. As for online dating, well, whatever floats your boat.

Well what I have observed is a lot different than from what YOU have observed. I have observed that females 'social ineptness' is as much of a barrier as it is for males. Me, for example, I hardly get approached by any male, even though men at the forum keep telling me that this cannot be true. If I didn't go on tinder and ASK my boyfriend to go on a date with me, I would still be single. And plenty of did get turned off on dates because of my social akwardness. They will say there is 'no connection'.

Well hey, at least your boyfriend managed to find someone on Tinder who wanted to date him! I've been on that site for the last 4 months and haven't gotten a single date or initial message. I've gotten mutual likes but they always unmatch me. The one site that really has worked for me is OKcupid.....But I haven't gotten any initial messages since last December 1 month after breaking up with my gf.

And furthermore, IDK what you're actually *like* as a person but the fact that you manage to find men who are similar to you is a good sign. I have met women who are very much like me, but I've met well over 100 women outside of my family by now and ONLY 2 of them have been people who have a lot in common with me What I can conclude is that women who really are highly similar to me are EXTREMELY rare, exceedingly difficult to find because they're shy, reclusive introverts with a small circle of friends who are not part of any larger social network nor do they participate in social activities with strangers, or a combination of both.

I think you both have a point.

First, I like it when a girl is socially awkward, shy, but takes the courage to PM me, or ask me out directly. It really boosts my courage as well. But it doesn't happen everyday (if it happens at all).

Second, connection is really an issue. I get this "no connection" comment a lot. But I also feel the same. When I'm on a date, I usually can't figure out any real topic we could talk about. I usually start talking about school or work, how much I like what I do, etc, but it only bores girls to death. They usually want to see a socially active, funny, easygoing guy, but they get Cmdr. Data instead. It is the same vice versa. I want to see a rather odd, unique, shy girl who shows interest in me, and doesn't play mind games. So yeah, no connection either way.

Women also expect men to flirt. I like it when girls start flirting with me, but I don't know how to respond. I don't understand facial expressions (I don't even know if a girl is flirting with me, or just taking note of my awkwardness), and I can't reproduce them. It happened to me once or twice that a girl was staring at me like crazy, so I went up to her and asked her out in my usual, emotionally neutral manner. The results were embarrassing, so I don't really do this anymore.

Flirting does not mean interest. Keep that in mind. Just goto any bar or club and you'll have drunk women flirting with you like crazy. A lot of women view a man flirting with them the same way: He's just having fun and nothing will come of it. Where did you get the idea that women expect men to flirt? They expect men to make the first move but do not confuse move making with flirting.

I hate the fact that males have to make the first step.

Hmm... I think you're right. But this makes me even more confused.



Me too.

Yeah....I know that confoozed feeling all too well, Auswolf.

What works for me( and keep in mind this *might* not work for you and IDK if you've tried this and gotten the same results or not)in terms of being able to tell whether or not a woman is attracted to me/wants to be more than friends with me is to actually spend time one-on-one with her and sort of test the waters. If you're friends with a gal and she's interested in you, she'll let you know sooner or later. Some women will be quite direct about it, but others might drop hints. The only way you can know for sure is if she tells you straight up, puts her hands on you in private and/or moves to kiss you, or you make a pass at her and she accepts.

But the safest thing to do is assume that a woman flirting with you is not actually interested in you and act aloof by gently brushing her off. If she really is into you, that often makes you seem like you're playing hard to get and for some reason this piques the interest of women who are assertive/social enough to flirt with a guy they barely know.