Still haven't found a girlfriend

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I'm with you on this. I just find the whole mixing sex and money thing to be a huge turnoff, personally. I figure why would I pay for it when there are plenty of sluts out there who'll willingly have sex for fun for free?? If that's one's solution, to get laid, then just find a willing partner and get it on IMO.

Plus here, where sex work is illegal, it's generally assumed that prostitutes are much more likely to be drug addicted and have STD's. It may be different in other cultures where it's legal, monitored, and controlled, making it safer and healthier for all involved.

But I do sort of get that poster's suggestion, though. Before I ever had sex being a virgin was like the biggest deal in the world.. even though friends who were sexually active said it wasn't, it still felt like it. Then once I had done it, I was able to relax a looooot more about it and move forward w/o it being on my mind any longer.

It's funny how life's changed since. I've had more partners than most people ever do in several lifetimes and now that sex is so easily obtained I can't really be bothered as I'd rather date someone and build a relationship. Stages of life, I guess. Especially gay life.

I'll send ya a pm about how I've managed to do so for myself.

Thanks for not shooting me down with my suggestion. You are right about prostitutes more likely to be riddle with STD's if its been forced underground due to illegality. I personally think that for men with aspergers, escorts can be of great help to some by getting their foot in the door with being more relaxed around women. Being an older male virgin can be both very, very frustrating which can spill out into interactions with women but might also make a lot of men with Aspergers fearful of getting to "last base" with women which can also hamper attempts at dating. Granted its not a perfect solution and defiantly don't suit all men but for some I'm sure it can help

Goldfish. If possible send me a PM on how you managed to deal with negative thought too. If might be good to post some of them here too if you know of any tips you found especially useful.

Sent.

Goldfish you are very helpful.

The problem is with me the place where i live, now i live in a village just outside of a town called Oswestry. Now the problem is and believe me when i say this the majority of people that live here are retired people.

Now the town is very nice but not much for my age group to do, the buses where i live are not great, they stop at 18:00pm and the train station would be about a 2 hour walk at least.

Now there is a place called Shrewsbury which i love but the problem here is i have to get the bus home from there by about 16:00 as if i missed the bus i would be stranded. This is the thing see, its not like the big cities where you can easily wait for a bus at 22:00.

I can't really do things indpentatly which is very frustrating.

You thought about getting a car or small 125cc motorbike licence? If money is short a 125 is very cheap to run.

Yeah I had thought about it but i think i would be too nervous to drive

A 125cc might be a good idea. I have a friend with aspergers who loves them. Basically all you need to do is apply for a provisional licence and then do a CBT "test" that you really can't fail. Nothing is cheaper or easier than a 125cc. You can get a taste of what riding on the roads will be like and become legally allowed to ride on the roads at the same time in the space of a day. If you don't like it then you haven't broken the bank in giving it a try.

I have a car licence but have been thinking a lot about getting a 125cc simple because of the cheaper cost and fun. The roads will always be daunting at first to anyone, Aspergers or not so stick with if if you do decide to try.

Thanks for all the help guys. And i am feeling a bit more positive then last night as well.

I felt that way before I started learning (my mum convinced me to learn) and now I am haply to drive about. I like having a data because then i never have to worry about getting lost

Everyone is bricking their pants when they start regardless of mental health or disorders. I was very nervous when I was learning and now 9 years later I drive around in jumbo transit vans half way across the country and love it. I think the priority for cricketman will be to get out and about a lot more and away from a stagnant environment. Even if it don't help with his dating it'll be beneficial in many other areas of his life. Girls also dig a guy with wheels.

I don't know, maybe in a few months time i might feel differently about driving, at the moment all i want to do is go out and try to meat people.

All i really want is girls to be friends with me, a gf would be a bonus and its what my dream is but i would like to be able to take a girl to the cinema, sport, shopping or anything on my own regardless of weather they are my girlfriend or not

I've met the most compatible people through special interests and sporting clubs.

Although I met my best friend at a funeral
I met my partner through an interest in classic cars.

So I suppose you need to keep taking an interest in people and what they're interested in and sooner or later you're bound to find someone you click with.

I have a good few friends who are girls some of them are very hot (model level) and shopping is still excruciatingly boring with them, you might find it surprisingly boring too. The cinema is always OK though but sport might be fun however I never tried. I met one of my closest female friends on a webcam chatroom (I dunno if I can mention other sites here) and she's from the Netherlands and I have visited her a few times, the last time being only a few weeks ago and I had a free hotel in her flat and all. I think a site similar might actually be a potential (in the lightest sense because for me it was largely by luck) way of meeting female friends in person provided you don't do like all men do and start choking the chicken at them. Be different by being talkative rather than violently masturbating like all the other men and you might get lucky. You should be able to find a few online female friends at least with luck.

I would book driving lessons or a CBT course without hesitation. Anxiety about something will always be a way of putting something off indefinitely. All drivers are anxious before and when learning and if they let anxiety take control the roads would be VERY empty. By the looks of it living in that small village is holding you back in more ways than one. Give Aspergers the middle finger and just give driving/riding a try haha. You'll also open up more job opportunities by being on the road which is also sexy with the ladies. They like men with a stable job.

I mean i don't know but i think i would want to finish college first this year before thinking about driving. Can i ask about my dad, him and my mum split up about 14 years ago, i don't see him often but he still treats me like a little child sometimes. how could i show him im not his baby boy anymore?