What is the main reason why guys have to do the approaching?

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right. I don't believe any woman (aspie or not) can truly be single in the same way alot of men on wp on single (like never dated,never kissed,never had sex) however I do believe alot of women including women with asperger can get into poor relationship or unable to keep a relationship for than a month.
I think alot of asperger women can get into a relationship but because of their ''flaws'' they are unable to stay with a man for a long time.
and last, I keep hearing aspie women complain about getting hit on or being use for sex by different men, where are these women hanging out at. I don't think aspie women like going to bars or clubs.

I'm not disagreeing with you. Yes, it's unfair. Aspie men are often dateless, aspie women aren't. There's loads of 30+ aspie men who've never dated. Aspie women who've never dated, are probably just as rare as NT dateless women. A female virgin over 20. Yeah, right.

Yes, that is true. women can easily get sex. But dang women why do you keep sleeping with these men who just use you.
And all aspie women who have sex with a man, and then he just dumps you next morning. Where in the f are you ladies hanging out at. If you aspie women are tired of these ''players'' then stop hanging around bars or clubs. Go to a libary, so hobby club. find asperger support club. Stop saying yes to these ''players'' s**t, and don't let these guys get you to bed. damn.

if you ladies hate getting hit on by creepy and being use by ''players'' maybe you should find a new location. Or use your brains more.

Really?!

You don't get why aspie women are easily taken advantage of by creepy dudes?

Seriously?

Okay, I'll tell you why.

It's because they're FRIGGIN' ASPIES! Lack of social skills is the very definition of the disorder, of course they have a much harder time telling when a guy is taking advantage of them.

And if you think that manipulative as*holes limit themselves to bars and clubs, you're only showing your own social naivete.

^^^ Which is why I generally recommend our male & female WP Aspies to keep their iron undies ON until they know people better.

Some people call me boring that way... well, I don't get used as often either.

Nope, I don't mean celibacy people.

Well, yes, it's true. If I was a woman, I could probably sit still until some guy approached me, and accept his advances, and bam, I have a boyfriend. The more attractive I was, the more often that would happen. While if as a guy you sit still, then he'll get nothing. Sure, nobody is directly contesting that. But do you hear yourself, telling girls what they should do, telling them they should use their brains and stuff? That's what I contest; you use the approaching thing as an excuse to justify that kind of attitude towards women

^^^
Doesn't mean that the guy who apporaches you won't be an abusive as*hole though - they're often very charming in the beginning and we are terrible at reading social situations.

The concept of "any boyfriend is better than no boyfriend" is quite sickening to me. I dare anyone to say it after being with someone abusive.

Last edited by Kjas on 17 Nov 2012, 10:27 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Women CAN just sit and wait to be chosen.

Men can't do that. If a guy 'waits for that special someone' to come along, he'll be a 30 y.o virgin, like me. For years, I listened to people saying you have to be patient, and wait, and it will happen when you least expect it. There are clearly different rules in effect for men, and for women. This advice, I think, only really applies to women, because men are expected to be the initiators and aggressors when it comes to dating.

I find both sides of that argument weird. The none is better than any, and the any is better than none. but i guess its just down to how it has affected you.

The way I see it, when someone hasn't had any relationship ever he'll naturally want to be in one, just any one, to see what it feels like. But someone who has will see that there are relationships that are just not worth it, or relationships that even when there is no fighting, and by no fault of any of the parties involved, are ultimately not romantically worth it either. So for these guys, I understand where their mindset comes from. It would be good if they entered into a relationship and saw what it felt like. But when they use it to dismiss every other issue of people who are at a different point of their lives and have different goals than them, it's not ok.

It doesn't excuse it. But the only way, I think, that some guys will be able to understand that is to get a few truly crappy relationships under their belts.

That's what it took for me. Yeah, it took knowing some really awful women to help me feel less bitter toward women, I'm weird like that.

Sometimes people just aren't in a position to understand why what they're saying is offensive. If they can't be made to understand that it is, then I guess the only thing that can be done is to pay them as little mind as possible.

exactly. I understand where the mindsets come from, I just fail to see what they expect from them. Or why they feel soo forced to uphold them.

Not if she's repulsive... opinions may vary on that, but "Shoulder Cookie Girl" comes to mind...

An average woman won't get hit on if there's "better catches" nearby as well.

well, that what happens when you play the passive role. If women hated getting hit on and get use by all these creepy guys and want a good man to love, then why don't they do something about it. why don't they just go up to a man and ask him out (in a safe setting like in school, soical club). Maybe you ladies should give a shy man a chance. Maybe you ladies should be more flexible and go after all types of men. If you just sit around and only wait for the man with best ''approach skills'' to ask you out you are going being in alot of hurt. There are alot of men who can't approach or just a hard time speaking to a woman, maybe you ladies should just say ''f this society, Im going give this nervous shy guy a chance''.

bingo!!
a guy who knows how to ask a girl out is also a guy whos had plenty of practice. those who dont know how to ask a girl out will value the ones that say yes much more.

I'm an aspie and being one a male at that if I approach I may be labled as a lurker a creep or a sexfiend.If I don't ill be thought of as a coward and a wuss.When I ask a girl out heaven forbid I will always be shot down..I don't always want sex I just want to get to know her even though sex may be on my mind a lot its not when I just want to get aquanted and just talk.