How to use OKCupid (from an actual success story.)

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So you have converstations then. At what point do you actually ask them out?

I usually try to talk for a little while. Once I feel like I like them I try to think of something I could manage to do that I'd like them to do with me. Usually thats after a few days to a week from first contact. I've never had a yes there or in person and I've asked about 20 people out in the last year.

Okay, I need to ask something.

How did you have success initially messaging people? I've met two people in person from OkCupid, it didn't work out both times. I had deleted my account but I set up a new one. It gave me the same suggestions that I had received before. Some people I had even sent messages, never got a response. I tried to paint the best picture of myself that I could; thanks to my depression, I don't have a stereotype that might appeal to someone like you mentioned (nerd, jock, geek, hippie, religious, etc.).

Please help me. I hate being alone, even though I'm not a very social person.

If you aren't confident, you start with a basic essay format. That helped me.

1. Introduction (Hi X, I am Y)
2. Explanation of what attracted you to the person. (Not "I think you're sexy" but take one or two qualities they brought up in their profiles and mention them as things you like in a person.)
3. Explanation of qualities about yourself that would make you interesting to be around.

Don't say "I would be fun to be around because." This isn't middle school. Be a bit more persuasive.

That format got me lots of messages, I'm just bad at following through with anything else so people kind of fall off.

I apologize to Geekonychus for my rather angry streak a couple months ago on this thread. I was going through an emotional breakdown then; I'm doing much better now. So, again, my sincere apologies.

With that out of the way....... I really haven't had much success with the site. The one girl I wanted to see, had other plans when I planned to see her in L.A.. I guess everyone has different luck with OKCupid; some good, some bad. It's a roll of the dice, really.

^^^No problem, Equis. I'm not always the most tactful either, i'm sure.

Thats invariably going to be true. That doesn't mean much of my advice couldn't be apllied to other aspects of dating and focused elsewhere. I made sure to mention not making OKC your ownly avenue. I've met other women through singles mixers and through friends of friends at parties and stuff. It can also help you find non-romantic friends as well. "Birds of a feather" and all that.