Hale_Bopp's "tear apart my okcupid profile" thread

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Middle- to high-status women can easily have sex with low-status men, and middle- to high-status men can easily have sex with low status women. What neither gender can do is to actually pair with someone of significantly higher status than themselves; pairing has a hell of a lot more going on than merely sex.

And with any-status man, if they aren't too hideous or overweight.




How low? Street hookers? Illiterate immigrant workers?




I didn't say it's easy for anyone to do that.




I didn't say otherwise.

But even it comes to short term sex, studies all show that women would only go for Good Genes - aka the most physically attractive man possible. While for men, while they prioritize physical attraction for short term, most of them would actually go for any easy chance.

You are not correct. I am not hideous, but I could not walk up to Matt Damon or Keanu Reeves and expect to go home with him tonight, regardless of how much I draped myself all over him.

What you are claiming is that no men has any standards beyond 'not hideous or overweight.' That is simply not correct, and it frankly borders on misandrist. Men are not uncontrollable slags.


you simultaneously brought up the higher cost of pregnancy for women and dismissed the idea of people getting pregnant by accident. It's one or the other: either women face a higher potential cost of accidental pregnancy with sex, or they do not.

These days, with the ability to prove paternity beyond the shadow of a doubt, men face very significant costs to accidental reproduction (though still not as high as women do). Both men and women can take steps to prevent accidental pregnancy, though, and while men have only three options (sterilization, condoms, and abstinence), they are far from helpless in this regard. Women have higher consequences but also have more options to prevent conception.


both men and women, when looking for sex, are going to choose the most attractive potential partner who presents him- or herself to them. Higher status men are going to be able to choose from a larger set of potential partners, just like higher-status women are, and they aren't going to choose a low-status woman when there are plenty of higher-status, more attractive partners available.

You are not correct. I am not hideous, but I could not walk up to Matt Damon or Keanu Reeves and expect to go home with him tonight, regardless of how much I draped myself all over him.[/quote]

This is way way way above your status, but in general a non-hideous woman can get a man higher status man, it's not uncommon to see a nurse marrying an army officer, an administrative assistant marrying a manager..etc but the other way around is rarer, it happens but way rarer.
And no, I don't consider "younger age" as higher status, it's a higher value in fertility but not in status.


Getting pregnant accidentally doesn't dismiss the fact that women often go for higher status men. What happens often in those accidental pregnancies that the woman saw some potential in this man but he turned out to be coward and won't want to take some responsibility.



Well, that's the right law after all.

Accidental pregnancy more likely to happen to idiots, true, but it can happen to anyone too.

But what all this has to do with what I said? I was talking evolutionary-wise, instincts when it comes to mate selection. These new inventions and the new costs on accidental reproduction for men are very recent, and they wouldn't alter their nature, nor the women's, that fast.




I've said earlier if she has a sh***y personality she wouldn't last with anyone.
But yes, men are more likely to tolerate quirks and shortcomings than women. Most men have very basic and "forgiving" standards and I am not saying it's right, it might sound misandrist but it's true.

Read this thread:
http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt246582.html

This is way way way above your status, but in general a non-hideous woman can get a man higher status man, it's not uncommon to see a nurse marrying an army officer, an administrative assistant marrying a manager..etc but the other way around is rarer, it happens but way rarer.
And no, I don't consider "younger age" as higher status, it's a higher value in fertility but not in status.[/quote]
Ok, so at least you admit that any non-hideous woman can't expect to go out and sleep with "any-status man," that she can't expect sex with someone 'way above her status.'

I have been using 'status' as a fill-in for 'desirability in the sexual market,' including age; if you prefer not to use that term, is there one that you would be more comfortable with? 'Desirability,' 'sexiness,' or something else?

Two points: men often go for higher-status (and higher-desirability) women as well, and it doesn't matter if the man is a coward or not. If he's the father, he's going to support the kid unless he wants to move out of the country.

selectivity may have more to do with current social norms than with any biological reality:
http://www.nature.com/news/2009/090602/ ... 9.537.html


Evolution-wise, we weren't even all that sure that sex and pregnancy had anything to do with each other, and the entire tribe helped out with raising a kid. Evolution-wise, pair-bonding was a hell of a lot less formal. Evolution-wise, a woman could have sex with every man in the tribe, and when she got pregnant, no one would know who the father was even if they did link sex and pregnancy.

Personality doesn't matter much for a one-night-stand. Your claim was that men have virtually no standards when selecting a partner for a one-night stand. I disagree; I don't think that men are that slu*ty.


I disagree. It's women, not men, who are notorious for sticking with a man even when he knocks her around and treats her badly.

wrt. the thread that you asked me to read, you might find a surprise on the last page.

Judging by all the responses you all ways seem to get as an op tearing you apart your ok cupid isn't the only thing here people want to do to you Being humourless as we are I need to point out that was a "joke"

I just saw you on You Tube you seem quite tolerable even though doves are better

I read Hale_Bopp's Profile again, and looked at her questions.

In your pictures, you comment on how geeky you are, then this question pops up.

Are geeks sexy? No

I don't really understand this answer, you are a geek yourself or come across as one (good thing), so why are you saying those type of people you don't find "sexy" or attractive?


Could I date someone who was really quiet? No

Weird...This is a personal preference answer, I guess the people looking at your profile don't know you have aspergers, however, I've seen a couple answers where you come across as a very outgoing, party animal (you could be, just saying that someone with AS, this comes a little off). I think this could be helping you attract the wrong type of people you are looking for. You say you like to go clubbing.

Your problem I'm guessing is that you are getting lots of messages, but you attract the wrong type of guy. Unless you are looking for a really wild guy that parties all the time.

^^^

I don't see the geek thing not a all , that and it says perhaps it was a typo ? occasional drug user on her profile , since when are drug users "geeks"

I'm fairly geeky and I used to be a heavy drug user. I know plenty of them. Lawyers, programmers, engineers-- I am a geek addict (I've been clean over a year now), the disease of addiction does not discriminate. I'm not saying she is an addict, I'm just saying that yes, there are geeks who use drugs. Says the girl who can solve a rubik's cube on heroin.

I was going to challenge you but since I have no experience in this nor friends I would look silly doing so, come to think of it I think you may be right

Profile Name on OKCupid and POF: Matt_1_UK

Couldn't find you in search, Matt

I'm reposting, as I actually am interested in what other people think of it and would love some feedback!

http://www.okcupid.com/profile/nuxvomica45

Seems fine to me, think I should now show up in visitors.

My Profile - OKCupid

Picture is kinda dark and hard to see, but other than that, well done and nice Green Day reference.

Um. You wont like this, and believe me, I am forcing myself to write this because it's not going to do me any favours, but just in case it can be of help to you in getting a date with someone who you will like and be compatible with, it's worth the risk.

1) be positive. If you don't want to mention something, don't mention it, but avoid saying how you don't want to talk about it. It's a turn off and makes you look difficult.

2) Talk about things you like and enjoy. See above. Unless it would be a deal breaker for you if the woman likes the music you dislike, avoid mentioning what you dislike and why. Nobody actually cares and it makes you seem unnecessarily whiny.

3) when I read this " Do you have the time to listen to me whine about everything and nothing all at once?" - I thought - oh, well, at least he is self aware. I doubt many will read that far. also, I would use the black and white photo of you singing as the main photo. The dark one makes you look like a weirdo.

4) think about who this ideal woman of yours is and write a profile For Her

I like the honesty and lack of saying the same bland things that many do. Some more photos would help as you are an attractive woman - show it. More photos from farther away for full body and photos showing you in the activities you enjoy - helps give credibility and perception to who you are.