Ban-Dodger
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Age: 1026
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Location: Возможно в будущее к Россию идти... можеть быть...
12 Jun 2015, 12:20 pm
12 Jun 2015, 12:32 pm
WantToHaveALife
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Joined: 16 Sep 2012
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,175
Location: California, United States
12 Jun 2015, 2:52 pm
GiantHockeyFan wrote:
WantToHaveALife wrote:
Anybody know of any guys who did not get their very first girlfriend until my age or older? Late in 20's or 30's? Just asking because I don't want to believe that the older you get and are still single, the harder it gets
Didn't start dating until 28. Had an absolutely awful first try due to a combination of being too fussy and naive, landed a girlfriend at 29 (who was mentally unstable and probably had Borderline Personality Disorder), dated for another year and now am going to be engaged (hopefully!) within two weeks. I have no doubt in my mind she will say yes, assuming she isn't speechless.
My soon to be fiance went almost her entire 20s and 30s with almost no relationship experience. I am VERY glad she is inexperienced, with no bad habits or experience to taint her perceptions. What I wouldn't give to have lost my virginity to her. In my experience, the older I got the easier it become, both my numbers of women willing to date and number of 'successes'.
so, the woman did not get her first boyfriend until almost 40? I always find it more shocking to hear of a woman being a late bloomer compared to a guy mainly because guys are still expected to be the initiators.
The guy down below who said it gets easier for men as they get older? i'm not so sure about that if the guy is past a certain age and inexperienced.
12 Jun 2015, 3:57 pm
12 Jun 2015, 10:45 pm
13 Jun 2015, 2:14 am
13 Jun 2015, 10:01 am
alcockell wrote:
I'm 43 -
And I was one of the first ever diagnosed....
And I was one of the first ever diagnosed....
Most of the folks who could reassure that its not too late actually aren't one this site.
1) diagnosis of older Aspies is rare
2) many older undiagnosed Aspies have actually been chased away from this site.
FWIW I didn't have any girlfriends before my mid 30s. I had a
successful marriage of 15 years before she passed away.
You can research my posts to decide for yourself where along the
autistic spectrum I may or may not be. Hopefully you read quickly.
https://wrongplanet.net/forums/search.p ... uthor=btdt
only 90 pages
13 Jun 2015, 11:11 am
RetroGamer87
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Joined: 30 Jul 2013
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 11,060
Location: Adelaide, Australia
14 Jun 2015, 5:03 pm
Ban-Dodger wrote:
Gets easier for guys the older they are. Most girls probably believe that it's easier for females when they're younger.
It gets easier for me but when I have some modest success at my age I kick myself and think "Why couldn't I have done the same thing when I was younger"?sly279 wrote:
provided they become successful middle class. if you stay poor or low middle class it gets worse.
Oh, I guess that explains why I'm doing better now than I was before.Money matters. The exception to this is when you're at school. A few students in school had jobs but no one was expected to (not at my school anyway). We were all on the same socioeconomic level because we all lived in the same suburb. I lost count of many girls asked me out or otherwise expressed interest in me in middle school and high school. I refused every time because I found it overwhelming. Now I regret that to no end. I had chances to get a girlfriend at a normal age and I wasted them
14 Jun 2015, 5:33 pm
RetroGamer87
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Age: 36
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Posts: 11,060
Location: Adelaide, Australia
14 Jun 2015, 5:52 pm
Spiderpig wrote:
It is too late to know what it feels like while young, when you're biologically meant to start experiencing it.
WantToHaveALife
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Joined: 16 Sep 2012
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,175
Location: California, United States
29 Jun 2015, 2:45 pm
RetroGamer87 wrote:
Ban-Dodger wrote:
Gets easier for guys the older they are. Most girls probably believe that it's easier for females when they're younger.
It gets easier for me but when I have some modest success at my age I kick myself and think "Why couldn't I have done the same thing when I was younger"?sly279 wrote:
provided they become successful middle class. if you stay poor or low middle class it gets worse.
Oh, I guess that explains why I'm doing better now than I was before.Money matters. The exception to this is when you're at school. A few students in school had jobs but no one was expected to (not at my school anyway). We were all on the same socioeconomic level because we all lived in the same suburb. I lost count of many girls asked me out or otherwise expressed interest in me in middle school and high school. I refused every time because I found it overwhelming. Now I regret that to no end. I had chances to get a girlfriend at a normal age and I wasted them
ya that's why I've often felt, I think I said this already, I feel if I ever do get a girlfriend and i'm out there with her in public, holding hands, and I see all these younger couples out there kissing, holding hands, it will bring back the pain, bitterness, resentment of what I missed out on earlier. That's the cruel harsh part of life, for the most part we can't have things we want when we want them to happen, I have an Aunt who recently got married for the first time ever in her life, being in her 50's, her husband is the same age as her, they have been together since 2008, and I remember my Aunt telling me that he said to her one time "I wish we met 20 years ago"
That made me have sympathy and empathy for him.
RetroGamer87
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Joined: 30 Jul 2013
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 11,060
Location: Adelaide, Australia
29 Jun 2015, 4:44 pm
WantToHaveALife wrote:
ya that's why I've often felt, I think I said this already, I feel if I ever do get a girlfriend and i'm out there with her in public, holding hands, and I see all these younger couples out there kissing, holding hands, it will bring back the pain, bitterness, resentment of what I missed out on earlier.
Yeah, on the occasions when I was with her in public, holding hands (she insisted), seeing younger couples... but disregarding age it also bothered me all the times when I saw thinner couples. She insisted on going to Chinatown once and there were a lot of thinner couples there. It was just my luck to be dating the world's fattest Asian girl WantToHaveALife wrote:
I have an Aunt who recently got married for the first time ever in her life, being in her 50's, her husband is the same age as her, they have been together since 2008, and I remember my Aunt telling me that he said to her one time "I wish we met 20 years ago"
I know right? All these people say "you're never too old to find live" but when you get older, when you pair up when you're older, it means you've spent a significant fraction of your adult life alone. Maybe a quarter, maybe half, etc.And the second half of adult life isn't all that great. If your adult life lasts from 20 to 80, the half from 50 to 80 isn't really the best years for coupling or any other activity aside from lawn bowls. Even if you meet someone at 30, it means you just missed out on the best decade of your life. In the likely event that she's the same age as you, it means you've missed out on the best decade of her life. The decade when she was pretty.
I could have met some girl when I was 18 or 19 or 20 at college. If I'd gone to college that is. I should've gone to college but I was too lazy
29 Jun 2015, 4:46 pm
29 Jun 2015, 5:25 pm
While I agree you shouldn't spend much time regretting the past, I'm not sure I understand why people insist so much on that, and it's always made me feel pressured not to value what I missed out on, with the implication that I shouldn't, either, try to learn from that (non-)experience, because, since it didn't matter that I missed out on all those parts of life, neither should it matter for me to keep missing every single future chance I might still have. After all, what is now in the future will sooner or later be in the past, so there'll be no reason to regret missing out on it. Might as well just keep slowly wasting the rest of your life away, because, how can you justify any attempt to start getting the most out of what is left of it?
RetroGamer87 wrote:
I could have met some girl when I was 18 or 19 or 20 at college. If I'd gone to college that is. I should've gone to college but I was too lazy
Don't worry so much about that---it's entirely possible to go to college and still remain a complete outcast
RetroGamer87
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Joined: 30 Jul 2013
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 11,060
Location: Adelaide, Australia
29 Jun 2015, 5:55 pm
Spiderpig wrote:
Don't worry so much about that---it's entirely possible to go to college and still remain a complete outcast
Good point. Now I feel a little better 
I keep thinking if only I'd done this or that differently my life would be a perfect story book and I'd have a white picket and 2.4 cats but if I'd done this or that differently my life would still be imperfect.
Who knows. Maybe I even did a few things right.
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