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CommanderKeen
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03 Jul 2016, 7:27 pm

SJWs just like to make excuses. Why should you have to tell a man anything, who cares about their feelings? Men have "male privilege" after all.



Alliekit
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03 Jul 2016, 7:41 pm

What about a woman who genuinely doesn't get the hints and thinks that person is being nice because they are your friend?



CommanderKeen
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03 Jul 2016, 7:44 pm

Alliekit wrote:
What about a woman who genuinely doesn't get the hints and thinks that person is being nice because they are your friend?

Then that's different. I'm talking about if the woman knows the guy likes them. There wouldn't be any reason for her to tell a guy out of the blue she's not attracted to them, if she doesn't even know if he likes her.



CommanderKeen
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03 Jul 2016, 7:46 pm

This girl I went on a date with didn't message me for about a week and I pretty much told her she was a coward for not just being straight forward and leaving me in the dark. She told me I was rude and she was just busy. Busy to her I guess equates to making multiple facebook posts a day.



wilburforce
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03 Jul 2016, 7:48 pm

CommanderKeen wrote:
Okay, how is not telling them and having them have false hope better? Also, he they are that worried about getting hurt if they don't tell the guy odds are he'll get aggressive anyway one way or the other. It could happen from her ignoring him, or continuing to tell him she's "busy". Hey here's a great idea, lets have a guy have false hope and just start to talk to them less and less so they waste their time. It's stupid, very, very stupid.


Have you ever looked into someone's face that you cared about, told them something you knew would hurt their feelings, and then watched their smile slowly collapse as the hurt/rejection sinks in? That does not feel good to do unless you are a sociopath who enjoys watching other people suffer. It is not easy to reject someone when you know it is going to make them feel bad. Many women won't say "I'm not attracted to you" outright because they know it's hurtful to be rejected and they don't want to have to do that. They are usually hoping that eventually the guy will end up liking someone else and so he won't be bothered by the fact that they don't want to date him because they will be emotionally invested in someone else by then, and so they won't ever have to say "I don't like you that way" out loud and no one needs to feel hurt.

Most of us have tried the direct route and have been screamed at or assaulted for being so "honest and considerate of the guy's feelings" and so learned to not reject outright like that anymore because it can be dangerous. Until you've had a girl (one bigger and stronger than you) yell in your face "Fine, I never wanted to date you anyway you fat ugly loser! I was just joking obviously, no one would ever want to date a piece of s**t like you!" and maybe threatened when you rejected her advance, you can't really relate to what it's like for most women. I've been yelled at in such a way for rejecting the advances of a cat-caller--it's scary when it happens, especially if you are alone and don't know if the guy is going to physically come after you as well as shout horrible nasty things at you. There is a certain kind of guy who is most dangerous when feeling rejected and insecure, and we can't always tell who those guys will be until they explode on us--so we are careful instead, and get insulted by guys like you for being "stupid".

Guess women just can't do anything right, because either way we get guys telling us how wrong and stupid and what selfish inconsiderate b*****s we are whatever we do. :roll:


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Alliekit
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03 Jul 2016, 7:50 pm

CommanderKeen wrote:
Alliekit wrote:
What about a woman who genuinely doesn't get the hints and thinks that person is being nice because they are your friend?

Then that's different. I'm talking about if the woman knows the guy likes them. There wouldn't be any reason for her to tell a guy out of the blue she's not attracted to them, if she doesn't even know if he likes her.


But alot of guys might assume she knows when she is none the wiser :) so accidental friendzone?



wilburforce
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03 Jul 2016, 7:53 pm

CommanderKeen wrote:
Also, he they are that worried about getting hurt if they don't tell the guy odds are he'll get aggressive anyway one way or the other. It could happen from her ignoring him, or continuing to tell him she's "busy". Hey here's a great idea, lets have a guy have false hope and just start to talk to them less and less so they waste their time. It's stupid, very, very stupid.


Also, this statement (especially the piece I underlined) makes it sound like men attacking women for rejecting them is normal and to be expected, and the women deserve it for being "stupid". That's pretty messed up if that is actually what you believe, and you may want to examine why you hold those messed up beliefs and how that might be holding you back in relationships with women. If you have a lot of anger and resentment bubbling just below the surface, women are going to pick up on those vibes and steer clear of you out of fear.


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CommanderKeen
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03 Jul 2016, 7:54 pm

Who said you had to do it face to face, or phrase it the way I did? Trust me, it's way, way worse giving a guy false hope. Guys who will do that are the same guys that'll be aggressive if you don't pay them attention. Why not get it over with? Are you planning on letting a guy down in a non-public, non-safe place? A simple text will do. It's easer that or having to continue to make excuses, continue to lead him on. Really, how is your way any better?



wilburforce
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03 Jul 2016, 7:56 pm

CommanderKeen wrote:
Who said you had to do it face to face, or phrase it the way I did? Trust me, it's way, way worse giving a guy false hope. Guys who will do that are the same guys that'll be aggressive if you don't pay them attention. Why not get it over with? Are you planning on letting a guy down in a non-public, non-safe place? A simple text will do. It's easer that or having to continue to make excuses, continue to lead him on. Really, how is your way any better?


No, it's worse to be called a c**t when you say "no thanks" to a guy asking for a date. That hurts and it's scary, too.


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CommanderKeen
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03 Jul 2016, 7:58 pm

wilburforce wrote:
CommanderKeen wrote:
Also, he they are that worried about getting hurt if they don't tell the guy odds are he'll get aggressive anyway one way or the other. It could happen from her ignoring him, or continuing to tell him she's "busy". Hey here's a great idea, lets have a guy have false hope and just start to talk to them less and less so they waste their time. It's stupid, very, very stupid.


Also, this statement (especially the piece I underlined) makes it sound like men attacking women for rejecting them is normal and to be expected, and the women deserve it for being "stupid". That's pretty messed up if that is actually what you believe, and you may want to examine why you hold those messed up beliefs and how that might be holding you back in relationships with women. If you have a lot of anger and resentment bubbling just below the surface, women are going to pick up on those vibes and steer clear of you out of fear.

Wow, you should try working as a reporter on a major news network; considering how much you put words in peoples mouths. You're the one that stated that guys can be aggressive. Why are you hanging out with shady guys to begin with?



CommanderKeen
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03 Jul 2016, 8:01 pm

wilburforce wrote:
CommanderKeen wrote:
Who said you had to do it face to face, or phrase it the way I did? Trust me, it's way, way worse giving a guy false hope. Guys who will do that are the same guys that'll be aggressive if you don't pay them attention. Why not get it over with? Are you planning on letting a guy down in a non-public, non-safe place? A simple text will do. It's easer that or having to continue to make excuses, continue to lead him on. Really, how is your way any better?


No, it's worse to be called a c**t when you say "no thanks" to a guy asking for a date. That hurts and it's scary, too.

So, it's better to lead a guy on than be called names? Wow, that says a lot about you. I'm going to keep leading Jimmy on, because I just cant handle someone calling me a c**nt. It's best I lead him on, hopefully he won't call me a c**t after leading him on for a month or so.



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03 Jul 2016, 8:03 pm

CommanderKeen wrote:
wilburforce wrote:
CommanderKeen wrote:
Who said you had to do it face to face, or phrase it the way I did? Trust me, it's way, way worse giving a guy false hope. Guys who will do that are the same guys that'll be aggressive if you don't pay them attention. Why not get it over with? Are you planning on letting a guy down in a non-public, non-safe place? A simple text will do. It's easer that or having to continue to make excuses, continue to lead him on. Really, how is your way any better?


No, it's worse to be called a c**t when you say "no thanks" to a guy asking for a date. That hurts and it's scary, too.

So, it's better to lead a guy on than be called names? Wow, that says a lot about you. I'm going to keep leading Jimmy on, because I just cant handle someone calling me a c**nt. It's best I lead him on, hopefully he won't call me a c**t after leading him on for a month or so.


You dislike women too much.



CommanderKeen
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03 Jul 2016, 8:06 pm

HighLlama wrote:
CommanderKeen wrote:
wilburforce wrote:
CommanderKeen wrote:
Who said you had to do it face to face, or phrase it the way I did? Trust me, it's way, way worse giving a guy false hope. Guys who will do that are the same guys that'll be aggressive if you don't pay them attention. Why not get it over with? Are you planning on letting a guy down in a non-public, non-safe place? A simple text will do. It's easer that or having to continue to make excuses, continue to lead him on. Really, how is your way any better?


No, it's worse to be called a c**t when you say "no thanks" to a guy asking for a date. That hurts and it's scary, too.

So, it's better to lead a guy on than be called names? Wow, that says a lot about you. I'm going to keep leading Jimmy on, because I just cant handle someone calling me a c**nt. It's best I lead him on, hopefully he won't call me a c**t after leading him on for a month or so.


You dislike women too much.

No I don't. What I dislike is BS mind games in the dating scene. I dislike how social media has hurt dating and as a lover of technology I am conflicted. Conflicted, because in some ways I'd like it to go back to how it was before social media; while at the same time excited about what can be accomplished via social media.



wilburforce
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03 Jul 2016, 10:08 pm

CommanderKeen wrote:
wilburforce wrote:
CommanderKeen wrote:
Who said you had to do it face to face, or phrase it the way I did? Trust me, it's way, way worse giving a guy false hope. Guys who will do that are the same guys that'll be aggressive if you don't pay them attention. Why not get it over with? Are you planning on letting a guy down in a non-public, non-safe place? A simple text will do. It's easer that or having to continue to make excuses, continue to lead him on. Really, how is your way any better?


No, it's worse to be called a c**t when you say "no thanks" to a guy asking for a date. That hurts and it's scary, too.

So, it's better to lead a guy on than be called names? Wow, that says a lot about you. I'm going to keep leading Jimmy on, because I just cant handle someone calling me a c**nt. It's best I lead him on, hopefully he won't call me a c**t after leading him on for a month or so.


Being friends with someone does not equate to leading them on--sometimes you just like someone's company but don't feel romantically attracted to them, but that lack of attraction doesn't make you appreciate their company any less. I am not obligated to stop talking to a guy if I suspect it's possible he might be attracted to me if I like him as a friend and want to continue being friends with him, and it's not "leading him on" for me to do so.

You are directing a lot of anger at me that I don't really understand the source of. I am not your friend and I have not lead you on, so there's no need to be so snarky and rude to me. I think the woman who was too busy to get back to you dodged a bullet, because you sound like an angry person.


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04 Jul 2016, 2:36 am

Anyone who can't directly reject someone they aren't interested in and know is interested in them isn't being considerate of the other person's feelings, they're being selfish and avoidant to save their own skin.

That is more sociopathic than anything else.

To make someone suffer in silence rather than honestly and directly reject them and then ask them if they want to still be friends and keep it that way or if they want to move on.

They probably claim they're 'being considerate' and 'don't want to hurt the other person' but these are just false rationalizations to justify their taking the easy/coward's way out.

"Also, this statement (especially the piece I underlined) makes it sound like men attacking women for rejecting them is normal and to be expected, and the women deserve it for being "stupid". That's pretty messed up if that is actually what you believe, and you may want to examine why you hold those messed up beliefs and how that might be holding you back in relationships with women. If you have a lot of anger and resentment bubbling just below the surface, women are going to pick up on those vibes and steer clear of you out of fear."

You sound far too optimistic of humanity.

I don't consider people reacting with extreme aggression 'bad' or something an 'a55høle' would do, I consider it NORMAL.

People are absolutely horrible and awful, all of us, including myself, you, everyone.

Even those that don't outwardly express their anger might have a lot of pent-up rage they suppress/keep inside.

And who would I respect more? The one that is honest about their aggression/frustration towards the situation or the one who suppresses their anger and pretends everything is fine (aka the liar)? I'd respect the former more for being honest, unlike the avoidant woman who chose not to reject him when she should of.

I respect honesty. I've been friends with actual sociopaths before (as in, they were never afraid to confide in me and reveal every textbook symptom of sociopathy they have) and liked the fact at least they were honest about it rather than the plenty of sociopaths in hiding in this world.

I'd rather someone told me that they've murdered someone so that gives me the chance to get them out of my life rather than be friends with someone for several years only for them to reveal their little secret to me when I thought I could trust them.

"Being friends with someone does not equate to leading them on--sometimes you just like someone's company but don't feel romantically attracted to them, but that lack of attraction doesn't make you appreciate their company any less."

If you are flirting with them on purpose for fun and/or using them for sexual gratification but not answering their question and changing the subject when they try to talk exclusivity, and consistently telling them 'you're a really good FRIEND' and always using them to complain about their problems with other men/women, and kNOW how they feel but essentially torment them by always leaving things open rather than telling them directly you're not interested in a relationship but just an FWB, then yes, that's leading them on.



wilburforce
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04 Jul 2016, 3:06 am

Outrider wrote:
Anyone who can't directly reject someone they aren't interested in and know is interested in them isn't being considerate of the other person's feelings, they're being selfish and avoidant to save their own skin.

That is more sociopathic than anything else.

To make someone suffer in silence rather than honestly and directly reject them and then ask them if they want to still be friends and keep it that way or if they want to move on.

They probably claim they're 'being considerate' and 'don't want to hurt the other person' but these are just false rationalizations to justify their taking the easy/coward's way out.

"Also, this statement (especially the piece I underlined) makes it sound like men attacking women for rejecting them is normal and to be expected, and the women deserve it for being "stupid". That's pretty messed up if that is actually what you believe, and you may want to examine why you hold those messed up beliefs and how that might be holding you back in relationships with women. If you have a lot of anger and resentment bubbling just below the surface, women are going to pick up on those vibes and steer clear of you out of fear."

You sound far too optimistic of humanity.

I don't consider people reacting with extreme aggression 'bad' or something an 'a55høle' would do, I consider it NORMAL.

People are absolutely horrible and awful, all of us, including myself, you, everyone.

Even those that don't outwardly express their anger might have a lot of pent-up rage they suppress/keep inside.

And who would I respect more? The one that is honest about their aggression/frustration towards the situation or the one who suppresses their anger and pretends everything is fine (aka the liar)? I'd respect the former more for being honest, unlike the avoidant woman who chose not to reject him when she should of.

I respect honesty. I've been friends with actual sociopaths before (as in, they were never afraid to confide in me and reveal every textbook symptom of sociopathy they have) and liked the fact at least they were honest about it rather than the plenty of sociopaths in hiding in this world.

I'd rather someone told me that they've murdered someone so that gives me the chance to get them out of my life rather than be friends with someone for several years only for them to reveal their little secret to me when I thought I could trust them.

"Being friends with someone does not equate to leading them on--sometimes you just like someone's company but don't feel romantically attracted to them, but that lack of attraction doesn't make you appreciate their company any less."

If you are flirting with them on purpose for fun and/or using them for sexual gratification but not answering their question and changing the subject when they try to talk exclusivity, and consistently telling them 'you're a really good FRIEND' and always using them to complain about their problems with other men/women, and kNOW how they feel but essentially torment them by always leaving things open rather than telling them directly you're not interested in a relationship but just an FWB, then yes, that's leading them on.


I don't flirt with guys, I don't really know how. I can barely manage to sound normal when I talk to people most of the time, let alone navigate how to flirt--you have to feel confident to flirt, mostly I just feel anxious around other people. You guys are getting all mad at me like I am being dishonest with YOU and leading YOU on, when I have never done this to anyone. I have had male friends before, but I didn't flirt with them because I didn't like them that way--the guys I liked that way were the ones I dated, not the ones I made friendships with.

I was only trying to explain why some women might not be eager to outright reject a guy who asks for a date because people can be mean and aggressive when they are rejected. I'm not doing it to you, so stop getting all angry at me like I am the women in your past who have done that to you--go tell those women off and not me, if you really need to be angry at someone, because I don't deserve it.

There was no need to be jerks about it. I AM NOT THE WOMEN WHO HAVE REJECTED YOUR REQUESTS FOR DATES. Please stop lecturing me and ganging up on me because you have resentment for other people you haven`t dealt with.


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(Note to Moderators: my warning number is wrong on my profile but apparently can't be fixed so I will note here that it is actually 2, not 3--the warning issued to me on Aug 20 2016 was a mistake but I've been told it can't be removed.)