Still haven't found a girlfriend

Page 19 of 24 [ 382 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1 ... 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22 ... 24  Next

Nades
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 8 Jan 2017
Age: 1934
Gender: Male
Posts: 4,039
Location: wales

08 Jan 2017, 6:38 pm

cricketman123 wrote:
I mean i don't know but i think i would want to finish college first this year before thinking about driving. Can i ask about my dad, him and my mum split up about 14 years ago, i don't see him often but he still treats me like a little child sometimes. how could i show him im not his baby boy anymore?


I have terrible problems with being treated like a baby too. It's very patronising isn't it? Being branded as a child or village idiot is always damaging to peoples self esteem. I would finish college so you have qualifications and then get behind the wheel. It'll be hard to keep calling you a kid when you achieve more than a lot of adults without Aspergers. I would also rebel a bit. Doing something naughty every now and again goes some way to putting people like that in their place. Drinking with some friends and puking all over his table will probably help. I know it sounds crude but the more you try and match your behaviour to your male peers of similar age then then less of a child people will think you are.

I used to do naughty things to rebel, I took it way to far actually and went to prison once (make sure as hell you don't do it to THAT level, it was bloody horrible and I was an idiot) but it sure as hell wiped the arrogant, demeaning comments that my dad often made out of his mouth. My relationship has been far better with him since, even after my parents divorce.



goldfish21
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Feb 2013
Age: 42
Gender: Male
Posts: 22,612
Location: Vancouver, BC, Canada

08 Jan 2017, 6:47 pm

It's nice to want to go to the movies, shopping, out to a sporting event etc - but all of those things cost money. Have you given any forward thought to how you're going to be able to afford to do these things? ie do you have a part time job now? Could you get & keep one? Having a job and source of income will go a long way with dating.

And trust me.. dating can get expensive. Especially if you're the type who likes to be a provider/carer and you choose to pay the bill for you and your date instead of splitting things. I've been doing this the last couple of months and I'd say the average dinner & couple of beers or a pitcher costs me ~$60-70 with tip, sometimes more, sometimes a bit less. Even something as simple as a meal out a couple nights a week ends up costing nearly $500/month. This isn't something I'll sustain forever, though. We'll opt for cheaper places, go out less frequently, hang out at home more often in the future etc.. but in the initial stages of dating someone chances are you're going to spend more time going out for meals and activities and things that do tend to end up costing quite a bit of money even though you're not really doing anything very fancy at all. That's just a part of the cost of life. But knowing full well that you'll want to have a budget in place, even if it's half that, it'd be wise to plan ahead and have some savings as well as a regular income so that you have spending money for things like that.

That's not to say one must pay for yourself and your date all the time. That's between the two of you. Also, it's not necessary to go out to eat so often. Heck, you could plan a picnic lunch and spend time, not money. So much better sometimes, too. The biggest reasons we've ended up going out as often as we have is because I live about 45kms away, he doesn't drive, and his roommate is his brother and he keeps his dating life private sooo if his brother is home, hanging out at his place isn't really an option at this point. I'm hoping things carry on going well and that eventually he's comfortable introducing me to his brother and we can spend some evenings at his place vs. going out all the time. Not just for $ savings, but because it's more comfortable and relaxing vs. hectic, finding parking, waiting to be seated etc etc.

But yeah, stage one of dating someone = prepare to spend a bit of money. Even if you don't end up spending much money & you both simply enjoy each others company at home, it's nice to have that money set aside and budgeted just in case you do want to spend it on that.


_________________
No :heart: for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.


goldfish21
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Feb 2013
Age: 42
Gender: Male
Posts: 22,612
Location: Vancouver, BC, Canada

08 Jan 2017, 6:48 pm

cricketman123 wrote:
I mean i don't know but i think i would want to finish college first this year before thinking about driving. Can i ask about my dad, him and my mum split up about 14 years ago, i don't see him often but he still treats me like a little child sometimes. how could i show him im not his baby boy anymore?



Call him up and invite him out for a beer to celebrate the new year. Then pay the bill.


_________________
No :heart: for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.


Raleigh
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Jul 2014
Age: 125
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 34,582
Location: Out of my mind

08 Jan 2017, 6:51 pm

so, you live with your mum, I take it?

How do you contribute to the household?
Do you do things intuitively, or do you need to be asked/nagged?
Do you have a specific role in the household?
Do you perform that role in a timely and thorough manner?
Are you independent and self-disciplined?
Do you make your own bed and pick up your own socks?
Are you an independent thinker?
Are you assertive in a non aggressive way?
Do you tolerate others well, even if you don't like them?
Do you think before you drink the last of the milk?
Do you give your mum thanks for all her efforts and tell her you love her?

Ahahaha.


_________________
It's like I'm sleepwalking


cricketman123
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

Joined: 10 Jul 2016
Gender: Male
Posts: 317
Location: England

09 Jan 2017, 9:51 am

Raleigh wrote:
so, you live with your mum, I take it?

How do you contribute to the household?
Do you do things intuitively, or do you need to be asked/nagged?
Do you have a specific role in the household?
Do you perform that role in a timely and thorough manner?
Are you independent and self-disciplined?
Do you make your own bed and pick up your own socks?
Are you an independent thinker?
Are you assertive in a non aggressive way?
Do you tolerate others well, even if you don't like them?
Do you think before you drink the last of the milk?
Do you give your mum thanks for all her efforts and tell her you love her?

Ahahaha.


1. I do things like the washing up, drying up, help with the hoover and polish
2. Most times i just get up and do it but sometimes my mum still nags
3. I suppose my role is the hoovering and washing up after dinner
4. I feel that i do the jobs in a good way because i like the house to look clean for any visitors that might come
5. I make my bed, not the best but i still do it :mrgreen: and yes i pick up the socks
6. I feel i am a independent thinker its only today i found out i had a distinction in my assignment at college without any help really
7. I'm not really the assertive type
8. Yes i do tolerate others, there are some people at college i hate but i just get on with it because i want to build for my future and have a life. If i quit just because i don't like them then i would look silly
9. I aways ask my mum or stepdad if they need any milk or anything from the shops, and if i see we are running out i offer for me to get one from the shop.
10. Of course i do, all the time :mrgreen:



Zed90230
Raven
Raven

Joined: 4 Jan 2017
Age: 57
Gender: Male
Posts: 117

09 Jan 2017, 1:10 pm

I'd try meetup groups.

Or, if you have sufficient resources and leadership ability, start one.

I would not waste time with online dating sites, they're mostly money-making tools for the companies that run them, and most of the profiles are either fakes or by people who aren't serious about wanting a relationship.



cricketman123
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

Joined: 10 Jul 2016
Gender: Male
Posts: 317
Location: England

09 Jan 2017, 4:21 pm

I hate online dating sites as well to be honest. I swear most females just put these profiles up for a laugh.

I Might try meetups soon but i'm going to wait until my exams are over until January and then start really.



cricketman123
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

Joined: 10 Jul 2016
Gender: Male
Posts: 317
Location: England

10 Jan 2017, 12:47 pm

Um, well hi, i was sat on the bench eating my lunch today and this girl was sitting next to me, i actually got the courage to say hello and found out she was studying hair and Beauty, i told her what i am doing and she said she was thinking about doing that before starting her course.

I didn't get her name or age because she had to get the bus back home but if i see her around college again that will be great :)



cricketman123
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

Joined: 10 Jul 2016
Gender: Male
Posts: 317
Location: England

10 Jan 2017, 4:34 pm

And today i helped out more at my drama and i felt proud i was one of the most able out of nearly all except my friend



Alliekit
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Mar 2016
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,182
Location: England

10 Jan 2017, 4:43 pm

Thats really good improving social skills is always good. I currently feel like i need to improve and be braver in order to confront my supervisor



cricketman123
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

Joined: 10 Jul 2016
Gender: Male
Posts: 317
Location: England

11 Jan 2017, 11:53 am

Well i had my exam today and it went really well, i am starting to feel more confident now with my life.



cricketman123
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

Joined: 10 Jul 2016
Gender: Male
Posts: 317
Location: England

11 Jan 2017, 2:46 pm

What does everyone think, am i doing better, are there things i could improve on? :)



cricketman123
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

Joined: 10 Jul 2016
Gender: Male
Posts: 317
Location: England

11 Jan 2017, 3:23 pm

Can somebody answer, i want to know if i am doing well or if i need to do more. Like i said i feel much more confident then i did even yesterday let alone on Saturday



goldfish21
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Feb 2013
Age: 42
Gender: Male
Posts: 22,612
Location: Vancouver, BC, Canada

11 Jan 2017, 11:02 pm

Better is good, but there's always more to do. It never stops. It's not about reaching a certain goal and then getting comfortable with life. It's about striving to continuously improve yourself in every way. It's about the process, not some end result. Always do as much as you can. Sometimes that's less than it was the day before, sometimes it's a lot more, but just push yourself to keep moving forward.

Living like this is why I'll be healthier, wealthier, bigger, better, stronger, faster etc with each passing year.


_________________
No :heart: for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.


WantToHaveALife
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Sep 2012
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,196
Location: California, United States

12 Jan 2017, 4:06 pm

sadly the desire does not go away



cricketman123
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

Joined: 10 Jul 2016
Gender: Male
Posts: 317
Location: England

12 Jan 2017, 4:44 pm

WantToHaveALife wrote:
sadly the desire does not go away


The desire of what?

To have a girlfriend?, yes well i would love to have a girlfriend but weather that is now or in the future i can't really yet it take over my life. The right person is waiting out their for me but i just haven't found that person. Until i do i just want to have as many adventures as i can and you never know, as i think Goldfish has said, the right person could come at any moment.

I can't really expect to find anyone if i am in a depressed mood in my room looking at the computer screen.