A girlfriend is not a lost puppy.

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I think you got that backward. I'm not following her around. She is following me around. At least most of the time.



I thought you didn't believe in "telepathy", and know you think I'm harassing somebody with it. Isn't that a bit inconsistent?



It's an utter failure because the purpose of human courtship is to get into a relationship and then reproduce. Which I'm sure is what a majority of NDs here want. They don't want 100s of one-night-stands. At least a majority don't. Therefore, your "success" is completely irrelevant to most of them.

I don't think I've claimed any of that.

It started in December 2013 by her and her friend waiting for me and then showing me around for almost an hour. I didn't know who she was, so I decided to walk regularly in the area. They noticed this a few months later. For a while she set up things with friends and herself. I was unable to intervene because it happened randomly once a month or so, and I was blocked from analyzing things in real-time (an ND trait, I discovered later). She then found out who I was and sent fake friend requests to my Facebook account. A while later I decided to create another Facebook account and sent her a friend request which she accepted. A few days later she inactivated the account so we couldn't have direct communication. I posted regularly to both accounts, keeping the more "private" things on the new one. We developed a complex like system so I got to know what she liked and what she didn't like. We used a color-coding scheme for a while that her friends used, and at other times we used notification changes. She also could feed me pages (which Facebook broke, but group feeding still works from inactivated users). It was at this time that I started to note the mind-to-mind communication and direction sense. We tried to move from the like system to mind-to-mind communication and eventually decided it worked well enough and so we made the switch. The posts I wrote about this were liked by her. In autumn 2017 we had a lot of practice with the direction sense and mind-to-mind communication. Late in autumn, she got harassed by somebody and after that, she was inside until spring. During winter I perfected my direction sense as I went around her. In March, we started a new "game". She circled me many times when I was out, which also was good practice of the direction sense. I started to announce new places we could be at on Facebook, but later I discovered I didn't have to do that as she knew it anyway. I also announced dances and events I would be at, and she often went to those too. She also has started to use a Ukrainian dating site to send letters to me. She had registered the user herself, which sent email notifications to me.

The mind-to-mind communication, being something natural & safe, comes with several "functions" that avoids "stalking". First, I can tell her that I don't want her to follow me, and then she won't do it. Second, she can tell me that I shouldn't look in some direction, and I will obey that. Third, she can mess with the direction sense itself so I get the wrong information. In fact, the latter two are so efficient that I've been unable to see her more than occasionally. I think that mind-to-mind communication will only develop between two people that trust each other a lot, and so cannot be forced with a random stranger. The only "issue" is that you cannot break the connection just like that. Ghosting won't work, and giving up won't either (as the other part is likely to interfere). Which resonate pretty well with NDs being unable to handle rejection or ending a relationship.

Which is it now? Is it impossible to lie or can she give you the wrong information?

Also, "In fact, the latter two are so efficient that I've been unable to see her more than occasionally" sounds very much like there is no direction sense and you just sometimes bump into her at random. If you get it wrong most of the time, where's the evidence that it works?

I think it is a safety function of the direction sense itself. It's not a lie, more like a temporary malfunction. Much like you can sometimes misidentify where a sound is coming from.



Rather the opposite. I should have bumped into her a lot more if things were random. Also, remember what I wrote about the first years, seeing her and her friends once a month or so. While the online communication has increased a lot since then, and also our time close to each other outdoors, I now see both her and her friends very rarely.



I don't have the evidence at the level you require, and I have no intention of trying to get it either. I'm pretty content with how it works, so I see no reason to try to force things. I want to know about the natural way, and I'll miss out on that if I try to force things. Things will happen when they are supposed to happen.

I have a few circumstantial pieces of evidence, like when she went inside a sports hall and I went outside, and I heard a loud sound of something falling, and then she no longer followed me. That was a real connection to a physical sound affecting the direction sense. There are also the compass measurements and the train departures that matched real train timetables. I also have reason to believe I that I now know her real identity, based on the direction sense during winter and the name she uses on the dating site actually matching a real woman that lives there.

Last edited by rdos on 24 Sep 2018, 8:35 am, edited 1 time in total.

It all sounds too complicated for my less-than-stellar brain...

I prefer the direct approach myself. Saves lots of aggravation.

Just be careful. Hopefully, the lady doesn’t get it wrong as to your intentions.

"Mind to mind," agreed upon stalking.. whatever you want to call it - it's abnormal and should NOT be given as relationship advice to autistic people who might not realize you're the VERY odd one out with this bizarre behaviour, as then they may mimic it and get themselves into some serious trouble if they're very easily impressionable and believe any of the stuff you write.

I'm referencing You believing in advanced telepathy, not myself.

Um, no. That's most certainly not the purpose of all human courtship. Do I need to explain to you how gay sex works? Here's a hint: Nobody's getting pregnant.

It's up to each individual whether they want one night stands, dates, a steady girlfriend/boyfriend, or if they're seeking someone to marry etc. Strange that you think everyone's goal & measure of success is whether they get married and have kids or they don't.

But it is a lot of fun, and keeps passion alive.



I think that is sorted out. I'm only friends with wife (her own idea a while ago), so that makes it ok to pursue it. Before that, I relied on polyamory. IOW, we both want to get into a real relationship and create a family. She is in her mid-30s so there is a 20 year age difference, but I don't think that is a problem.

I think they are far more likely to get into serious trouble using your advice. After all, having sex with 100s of people is a high-risk behavior if you cannot detect interest and get a valid consent.



Gay sex is not in any way human courtship. It's something cultural. Just like dating.



Certainly, but you are trying to push that getting gay sex works the same way as a long-term relationship.

Have I ever once advocated rape? No. Communication & a mutual agreement to meet and have safe sex is entirely different from pouncing upon unsuspecting victims and not practicing safe sex. FYI I not only practice safe sex, I’m responsibly taking Truvada as PrEP since it’s now paid for by our Provincial healthcare plan for gay guys. Basically, I pop this pill once a day and it makes it pretty well impossible for me to get HIV & thus since I can’t contract it, I can’t pass it on to others, either. Consent & safe sex are important things in anyone’s sex life and I’d never ever advocate against either. Where you got that idea I have no idea.

Once again, I’ve nwver suggested others’ goals should be one night stands. The communication process to meet someone for a date is nearly identical to that of agreeing to meet for a one night stand. The ability to converse and communicate with potential partners is a transferable skill. One could use it to get laid or to arrange a first date of a potential long term relationship.

Now here’s where we all know you’re completely out to lunch. You somehow believe that gay relationships, and even marriages by extension, are some sort of subhuman relationships? Newsflash: They are exactly the same as all other human courtships and relationships, just usually without the reproducing part. Some are using science to procreate now, though. Further to that, many heterosexual couples these days are choosing not to have kids either for $ reasons Or not wanting to bring children into this messed up world. That doesn’t mean they don’t have normal relationships, either.

Yes, exactly. Now you’re beginning to understand. Arranging to meet someone is arranging to meet someone. I do it to get laid, others may do it to have a conversation over a slice of pie and a hot cup of coffee. But the communication process to go from initial contact to mutually agreeing to meet one another is nearly identical, sans discussion about sexual health & preferences.

Goldfish has never advocated rape. RDO has never advocated stalking.

They are just two people with different notions about things.

He hasn’t called it stalking but it sure sounds like it to me if he’s suggesting that a guy “just knows,” in his own mind that a girl “wants him to follow her around the city,” and then he does that, catching glimpses o her at train stations and beaches.. beaches he found by scribing lines on a map until his “sense of direction,” tells him that he’s somehow used geometry & telepathy to locate where she’s going to be.

This crap sounds straight up like Russel Crowe’s character in “A Beautiful Mind,” when he’s losing his grip on reality.

Speaking as a woman, if I found out some guy who lived near me and saw me around town decided that we were in a "relationship" because he "just knows" it to be true due to some sort of telepathic connection, I would label that guy a creep and find a new neighborhood ASAP.

I wouldn't like it if a woman said that she was "in a relationship" with me when I hardly know her.

I find that would be sort of an imposition. Don't I have any say in this?

And you failed to notice that I wrote that she follows me around?



It wasn't at the beach, and I've never been at the place. You assume so much that I never said.



She has an apartment in a town and sometimes is at a place in the countryside. Is that strange to you?

Yeah, and then you too failed to see that this was just something goldfish came up with himself. Has nothing to do with reality.

You wrote that you go watch her at a train station or when her train goes by.

You also wrote that you scribed lines on a map until you came up with some geometric pattern that honed in on her seaside location and then went to go see if she was there.

Almost everything you write seems strange to me.