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Do women simply just dislike Aspie men?

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funeralxempire
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16 May 2020, 5:05 pm

XFilesGeek wrote:
Just saying....

Women are still expected to be the caretakers and the nurturers. They may not be attracted to men that will add to their burden of people they have to take care of.

I've been friends with people who are at a much lower socio-economic status than me, and it always ended up that I had to pay their way. In the end, married men live longer than single men, and married women drop dead sooner than single women.

A woman I conversed with on Reddit said, "I look for assets, not liabilities." Maybe more men are willing to support poor women, but women are not willing to support poor men who have nothing going on in their lives.


Would it be fair to say if you're helpless it might be hopeless?


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The_Face_of_Boo
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16 May 2020, 5:15 pm

That’s why I prefer flings/fwds.

I don’t want to be anyone’s asset nor liability.



The_Face_of_Boo
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16 May 2020, 5:18 pm

funeralxempire wrote:
XFilesGeek wrote:
Just saying....

Women are still expected to be the caretakers and the nurturers. They may not be attracted to men that will add to their burden of people they have to take care of.

I've been friends with people who are at a much lower socio-economic status than me, and it always ended up that I had to pay their way. In the end, married men live longer than single men, and married women drop dead sooner than single women.

A woman I conversed with on Reddit said, "I look for assets, not liabilities." Maybe more men are willing to support poor women, but women are not willing to support poor men who have nothing going on in their lives.


Would it be fair to say if you're helpless it might be hopeless?



No, that’s sexist to say.

Everything in the world is gender neutral :lol:.



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16 May 2020, 5:28 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
That’s why I prefer flings/fwds.

I don’t want to be anyone’s asset nor liability.


You're not a liability though. You're a responsible adult. You've proven that you can set goals and work towards them.

I'll guess your issue is finding an equally responsible partner.



XFilesGeek
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16 May 2020, 5:42 pm

funeralxempire wrote:
XFilesGeek wrote:
Just saying....

Women are still expected to be the caretakers and the nurturers. They may not be attracted to men that will add to their burden of people they have to take care of.

I've been friends with people who are at a much lower socio-economic status than me, and it always ended up that I had to pay their way. In the end, married men live longer than single men, and married women drop dead sooner than single women.

A woman I conversed with on Reddit said, "I look for assets, not liabilities." Maybe more men are willing to support poor women, but women are not willing to support poor men who have nothing going on in their lives.


Would it be fair to say if you're helpless it might be hopeless?


I'm saying much of this "relationship" stuff is a crapshoot.

Both men and women are shallow, and finding your "soul mate" is as much a matter of luck as effort.

I've seen men who are basically in the gutter be able to sweet-talk women. I kinda regret that I'm asexual because, if I was normal, I totally give guys like Sly a chance. But, please remember that you guys are worth it. Don't settle for an abusive relationship just because you think you can't do better.

I so want to go back to our own planet where reason rules the day. I may not be able to feel your pain, but I am here to listen.


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The_Face_of_Boo
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16 May 2020, 5:42 pm

hurtloam wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
That’s why I prefer flings/fwds.

I don’t want to be anyone’s asset nor liability.


You're not a liability though. You're a responsible adult. You've proven that you can set goals and work towards them.

I'll guess your issue is finding an equally responsible partner.



I am still an adult child in many aspects tho.

ie. interests



XFilesGeek
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16 May 2020, 5:44 pm

hurtloam wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
That’s why I prefer flings/fwds.

I don’t want to be anyone’s asset nor liability.


You're not a liability though. You're a responsible adult. You've proven that you can set goals and work towards them.

I'll guess your issue is finding an equally responsible partner.


Exactly.

FOB is a great guy (even if he doesn't believe it).


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funeralxempire
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16 May 2020, 5:53 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
funeralxempire wrote:
Would it be fair to say if you're helpless it might be hopeless?



No, that’s sexist to say.

Everything in the world is gender neutral :lol:.


Including that statement. I know sometimes truth triggers snowflakes but it doesn't cease to be true as a result.


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16 May 2020, 8:58 pm

rick42 wrote:
Cyberdad doesn't know how it's like to go a entire lifetime without a single woman being interested in him,but he's telling you,me,along with other aspie men that we continue to try to meet women,that it's our fault for why women dislike us and why meeting women in real life is somehow going to make our situation better,which will not in reality.


This sounds vaguely similar to a response I had in a female thread 8O

Ok I'll try and rephrase this differently

You need to approach the dating game from a strategic perspective rather than an emotional one.

Work on yourselves first. Be confident in who you are accept yourself (warts and all). Women sniff social anxiety from a mile away. Confident men are 100 times more attractive to them.

Second put yourself in a position where you meet unattached women face to face (not online). This might involve relocating/travelling or changing jobs sometimes.

Third be open to making friends with any female (even the ones who aren't on your radar). Becoming friends first is really important as it gives you a chance to develop interpersonal skills you will need later. This is where I made the point that don't have checklists, be friendly (not creepy) and open to having casual friendships.

Fourth and final accept rejection. Even for NTs we go through rejection a lot. Its how you bounce back. I am not even talking about dating, just friendship. Women will reject you for whatever reason but there's always other fish. The longer you do this better you become in your interpersonal skills and the more you improve your chances of developing a friendship that will lead to a relationship.



kraftiekortie
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17 May 2020, 1:41 am

Strategy has never really worked for me.

One would do better thinking of women as people, in the sense of them not being mystical beings.



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17 May 2020, 2:16 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
Strategy has never really worked for me.

One would do better thinking of women as people, in the sense of them not being mystical beings.


Its not about how we treat people as human beings (that's a separate discussion). Its about Aspie males who are reacting emotionally that i) all girls hate their Aspergers and ii) they will never get a date

For them they need to be strategic and motivated to make positive progress



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17 May 2020, 2:30 am

rick42 wrote:
In my 36 years of living,not a single a girl/woman have ever showed interest in me at all.

Well geez, I'm aspie and girls show an interest in me. Maybe you just need to work on your confidence a little.


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17 May 2020, 3:27 am

hurtloam wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
That’s why I prefer flings/fwds.

I don’t want to be anyone’s asset nor liability.


You're not a liability though. You're a responsible adult. You've proven that you can set goals and work towards them.

I'll guess your issue is finding an equally responsible partner.

Unlike me I’m just lazy adult child :(


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sly279
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17 May 2020, 4:35 am

RetroGamer87 wrote:
rick42 wrote:
In my 36 years of living,not a single a girl/woman have ever showed interest in me at all.

Well geez, I'm aspie and girls show an interest in me. Maybe you just need to work on your confidence a little.

Your job helps


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The_Face_of_Boo
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17 May 2020, 5:08 am

sly279 wrote:
RetroGamer87 wrote:
rick42 wrote:
In my 36 years of living,not a single a girl/woman have ever showed interest in me at all.

Well geez, I'm aspie and girls show an interest in me. Maybe you just need to work on your confidence a little.

Your job helps



What helped him most is his targeted demography too.



hurtloam
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17 May 2020, 5:09 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
sly279 wrote:
RetroGamer87 wrote:
rick42 wrote:
In my 36 years of living,not a single a girl/woman have ever showed interest in me at all.

Well geez, I'm aspie and girls show an interest in me. Maybe you just need to work on your confidence a little.

Your job helps



What helped him most is his targeted demography too.


Did it? He doesn't seem very happy.