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My problem with relationships and age

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kraftiekortie
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16 Feb 2022, 10:02 am

If I went out with a young adult, there wouldn't be a "power balance."

We would probably be equal----or she would be more "advanced" than I am.



ironpony
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16 Feb 2022, 10:03 am

auntblabby wrote:
it is more a mismatch of life experience.


But it seems the OP hasn't had much life experience either though. Isn't he still a virgin and it seems from some of the things he said that he hasn't gotten out much and is stuck in a bubble?



Last edited by ironpony on 16 Feb 2022, 10:13 am, edited 1 time in total.

goldfish21
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16 Feb 2022, 10:08 am

dorkseid wrote:
goldfish21 wrote:
dorkseid wrote:
It is too late to catch the attention of any woman because of my age.


This is utter nonsense.

Take a look at this list of men on People magazine's "Sexiest Man Alive." At LEAST 10 of them are over 40, and of those Most of them are in their 50's!

https://www.thewrap.com/people-sexiest- ... 0in%201997.

40 years of age is not an expiry date for attraction. That's complete bs. In general, besides having $ (which helps but is NOT a requirement) these guys are all in fairly fit physical shape, happy, and healthy - those are attractive traits. Work on yourself and your health to improve your ability to attract women. It really is as simple as that.


Do you seriously think that celebrities on sexiest man alive lists are in any way representative of average men?

Yes, these men all have a lot of money. They are physically fit and healthy, especially over 50, because their aforementioned wealth affords them personal trainers and neutritionists and the best doctors on call. And of course they're happy because they rich and famous and getting voted sexiest man alive.

And you still don't seem to understand what I'm saying. I am quite aware that men in their 40s don't have any trouble dating. My problem is that I missed out on dating and having sex with young women when I was young, and even if I meet someone now we will both be old and it won't be the same. I don't mind growing old with someone, but I've already missed out on ever dating anyone under 40.


Even poor people and prisoners can be very physically fit. Diet & exercise, that’s it. No one needs to hire a personal trainer or nutritionist to get healthy and fit. All of the knowledge they have is in books or available for free on the internet. Anyone who decides to take action and get in motion can get fit - I know, I’ve done it before. (And need to get strong again rn so time for me to do it again.)

Only you are refusing to consider dating someone under 40. There are men over 40 dating women under 40 all the time. There is no rule that you must date someone exactly your age.


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kraftiekortie
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16 Feb 2022, 10:20 am

I'm very far from being a virgin-----yet I probably have less "life experience" than most 61-year-olds.



auntblabby
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16 Feb 2022, 10:45 am

^^^you have far more life experience than me.



auntblabby
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16 Feb 2022, 10:45 am

ironpony wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
it is more a mismatch of life experience.


But it seems the OP hasn't had much life experience either though. Isn't he still a virgin and it seems from some of the things he said that he hasn't gotten out much and is stuck in a bubble?

i don't mean that kind of life experience, i'm talking about common frame of reference. he missed his chance with his age peers.



kraftiekortie
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16 Feb 2022, 11:07 am

^The fact that you were in the military for so long----and I wasn't in the military at all-----confers upon you more "street cred" than me.



auntblabby
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16 Feb 2022, 11:12 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
^The fact that you were in the military for so long----and I wasn't in the military at all-----confers upon you more "street cred" than me.

my friend, the military didn't really count for $h!+ in that i was not pounding the ground in a war zone, i spent my enlistment in a hospital operating room passing instruments to surgeons and counting bloody sponges and needles. when not doing that i was buffing floors in the barracks and trying to get some sleep with all the drunken fornicating yahoos around me having fun. the little bit of free time i had i spent in the woods or swimming off stress at the post natatorium or running laps around the golf course and getting harassed by MPs for not wearing approved army PT uniform.



kraftiekortie
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16 Feb 2022, 11:16 am

You were sort of a Medic, then....



ironpony
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16 Feb 2022, 11:20 am

auntblabby wrote:
ironpony wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
it is more a mismatch of life experience.


But it seems the OP hasn't had much life experience either though. Isn't he still a virgin and it seems from some of the things he said that he hasn't gotten out much and is stuck in a bubble?

i don't mean that kind of life experience, i'm talking about common frame of reference. he missed his chance with his age peers.


Oh ok but if he missed his chance, does that automatically make it a power imbalance?



kraftiekortie
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16 Feb 2022, 11:24 am

No, it doesn't automatically mean there's a "power imbalance."



auntblabby
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16 Feb 2022, 11:42 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
You were sort of a Medic, then....

technician, operating room/central material supply, hospital orderly. nursing asst. assistant instructor operating room tech students.



kraftiekortie
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16 Feb 2022, 12:03 pm

Very useful jobs....



cyberdad
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16 Feb 2022, 4:06 pm

dorkseid wrote:
Excellent point. I'm morbidly obese, have very low testostrone levels, suffer from extreme anxiety and depression, and have no stamina or energy. I am broke and have bad credit, possess no property or assets, don't own a home and rent a room in someone else's house. I drive a piece of junk and I likely will not afford to replace it when it breaks down. .


So I think you know the answers to your questions before asking them. Number one is start working on fixing the things listed here before you worry about missing out on dates.

Self-motivation and self-confidence start with fixing yourself first. Regarding your mental health, nobody on this forum can fix that, only you can. Please seek professional help.



The_Face_of_Boo
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16 Feb 2022, 4:24 pm

What’s your testosterone levels? I am suspecting to have low T lately.



r00tb33r
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16 Feb 2022, 4:47 pm

dorkseid wrote:
r00tb33r wrote:
What's your master's in?


Special education.

r00tb33r wrote:
Maybe take a fellowship and teach an intro class while you Pile higher and Deeper some college babes in return for tutoring.


That sounds predatory.

On one hand I'm not sure what you'd do with a PhD in that... On the other hand it's possible to have an academic career.

No, not so much in a predatory sense, that was a joke. The dating scene in college might be better and in an environment where you might be demonstrating your better qualities. Also seemed to notice a greater age disparity in couples.