Eligible Odd-Bods! - The Premier Aspergian Singles List

Post Reply New Topic

Not really sure why I'm writing this? I don't normally like to actively interact with another living soul unless I know I can heal them after a long period of observation, I've been treated like s**t long enough and far too often to run as soon as someone shows any interest in knowing me.
Truth is life is getting harder to bear by the second, maybe I just wanted to talk to someone gentle enough to guide me through social situations? I'm done with self-mutilation by letting those shells of humans push me around. Anyway, here goes.

I'm a 21 year old female, my name is Hadeel, it's an Arabic name meaning the sound of a dove (cooing) or singing. My parents are Saudi, however, was born in the US. Naturally, I belonged nowhere (: I don't believe I have a sexual orientation, really, society kept force-feeding me "attraction to the opposite sex" though, until I considered it the biologically conscious choice? I didn't get an official diagnosis, but it kinda is a no-brainer, LOL. Currently studying Dentistry, in hopes that one day I'll get the pleasure of competently incising other humans with a no. 15 blade.

I'm a very controversial person, you'll see it for yourself. Easy-going yet neurotic, lively yet a party-pooper, experienced yet naive, intelligent yet slow on the uptake, ..etc. If you're interested in knowing how, you're a question away from knowing.

Not really interested in meeting or seeing a picture of you or anything. I'm not looking for anything in specific, it would just help if you were more artistic, have light blue eyes (I find them relaxing, my childhood dentist had blue eyes, and he's my favorite person), have a deep voice or just not a high-pitched one it agitates me, or understand demanding professions.

BTW, I've been told I tend to overuse medical terms even my doctors dislike that about me. So maybe a medical background would help

Ok why not..My name is Bryan and.....I love the outdoors...fishing, camping, hiking..even just walking in the woods...anything off the beaten path so-to-speak...I pull over to watch hawks fly,..to see owls resting on power lines and to watch deer...Nature is my thing. Im 50 y/o retired Merchant Marine. I am looking forward to riding bike daily ( gotta save to get a good bike), I work out regularly..my goal is to be in the best shape I have ever been in, Im solid at 225 lbs ( thats why Huffy wont get the job done for me ! ) I am by no means sitting back in retirement, I even started growing dreadlocks.. I dont like citys, or city noise, or crowded places...but Carolina blue skys and orange sunsets work for me.. I I speak German and Spanish..have travelled the world...as an army brat, then as a soldier, then as a Merchant Mariner...I have been to 20 countries..and the flags from those countries as souvenirs...I listen to music all the time...all kinds, no exceptions...prefer 70's easy listening, but different music for different moods....I drive slow and dont like to rush......Never been retired before..I have learned that it can make you lazy...and that aint me...My perfect match would be more interested in her brain than her looks, Im not picky but if she is pretty its not because she has to spend hours to get that way...geeky nerdy-type, unconventional, and probably even disdain for social norms, especially race-based norms,..when we talk instead of just waiting for her turn (again ) she actually WANTS to hear what I have to say..probably wears glasses, bohemian, less "girlie-girlie" and more woman-adult...not diva, not avant garde, more country sundressy...

Bryanro you sound like my type, but you are so far away

where there's a will, there's a (meet you half-) way....

I am a 50 yr old NT in love with man who has AS. Would love some advise from anyone be it male or female on how to love someone with AS. I have grown up with two special needs brothers. I guess what I am saying is I understand some of the way they function in life. AS is new to me so have been trying to learn as much as possible but feeling like I am missing something when it comes to AS. I am at a lose.

Hope this helps: I want to give you some insight into AS from a mans perspective...We live in a box, its totally silent, totally devoid of light..we LOVE it ! ! Its where we prefer to be all the time. We come out of the box ( gladly I might add) to help others. But especially the one we love,..But nothing can go into the box. Nothing. No help can be given in return. In fact it makes us VERY uncomfortable to be even offered help..VERY. The nurture instinct of women perhaps what most women pride themselves on, is like NT oil to Aspie water. They dont mix at all. Its a one way street with us Aspies..we only give, no receive. We cannot deal with input..only output. If you ask, I bet he will say he never "wants" anythng for his birthday or any gifts whatsoever. He knows you want to give it to him but he really doesnt want it for himself...at least thats how I am...P.S., If you thank me, it will make me uncomfortable( "thank you's" are an example of something trying to go into the box...)

bryanro your information has been very help to me. It did hit me though like a slap in the face. I must ask where do I go from here. I do not want to hurt him by leaving the relationship that we have started because he is going through a rough time with his only brother. He talks about all the time that he is supprised he is still here. Or is he playing on my heart strings?
Please give me some more advise.

This book was just released:

http://www.wrongplanet.net/article443.html

It is also available in iTunes for Apple readers. It's a minibook (about 40 pages) and only costs $2.99.

I suggest that you remember that thing that brought you together in the first place...the oddness and sincerity that you used to find endearing....Please understand the differences in NT and Aspies before you decide to quit. One thing to understand is that we dont play games with people or use words that we dont mean... No, he is not playing with your heart strings!!
It sounds like he is going through a rough time with his brother and that is probably taxing your already taxed relationship. He realizes that you are probably having a rough time but he cant UNDO being Aspie and probably doesnt have any more to give to keep you happy in the relationship because of the situation with his brother. He probably spends 90% of his time checking his every action so as not to offend you and thats when things are good with you two---the problem, will pass...and you will find him back to giving you the 90% instead of what you are getting now. He wants unconditional understanding from you...but you cannot offer him that--he has to seek it from you so just start a good book and lose yourself in it..by the time you are finished he will be over his episode. But dont let him know he is hurting you...he is not doing it intentionally and he cannot stop what he is not doing...it will hurt him to know he is hurting you. He would probably leave you if he knew he was hurting you.

Can you still post if your in an open relationship?

Once again you have given me some great advice and insite. Just reading your words makes me feel better. I am so use to men playing games with me that I am blinded by the fact that he might not be playing games with me. I need to be better at not letting old scares and hurts effect what I do in this realtionship. I also need to be more understanding with his current problem to remember that he can only handle so much at one time. Like you say, he is spending 90% of his time working or thinking of his problems with his brother. I guess the way I feel is my fault for not remembering that what he is going through with is brother is taking every thing out of him. I hope that I can message you somemore if I need a more advise.

Age: 31
Sex: female
Orientation: heterosexual
Location: Western WI, USA (near the Twin Cities)
Status: divorced

Looking for: intelligent, respectful man with interests in sci-fi, history, gaming, camping, road trips, and staying at home most nights. Prefer a high sex drive, a sense of humor, dog-lover, music-lover, non-smoker, moderate drinker, and an omnivorous diet. Having own interests and needing own space a plus. Giving me my space a must. I tend to not find very thin men attractive, and I tend to prefer older men, but I am not terribly concerned with looks/age. At this point in my life location doesn't concern me very much. I grew up in the South, and have happily adapted to the Midwest.

Pros: I am an excellent cook. I am good at cleaning and organizing. I am good at navigating and planning road trips. I am good at camping (or even glamping). I believe I am good at sex, and seem to have a higher sex drive than most women from my observations. I am moderately affectionate (I dislike PDA but can be very affectionate in private). I am moderately good at crafting. I enjoy swimming, walking-with-a-purpose, bicycling, dancing (free-form, trance), and canoeing. I am moderately attractive, and can make myself look very nice via makeup/fashion on occasion. I am told I have pretty eyes. I am good at listening. I am respectful of private space. I can be clear about my needs, fears, concerns, and desires, but sometimes need to be prompted to state them. I am intensely loyal to those I love. I have a quirky sense of humor. I love discussing topics that I find interesting. I like children but do not have any. I only ask for help when I really need it, and prefer to be as self-sufficient as possible. I like planning good surprises for people. I can be very good at doing supportive things that make projects run smoother. I am currently seeking help for coping with AS, and seeking a diagnosis. A committed, monogamous relationship is important to me. I am very pleasant and generally agreeable most of the time. I can be social and engage in chit-chat when necessary. I can take care of others and take on tasks, for a limited period of time. Longer if I have enough solitude.

I love Star Trek, Star Wars, Battlestar Galactica, Doctor Who, Torchwood, Doc Martin, Downton Abbey, Frank Herbert's Dune series (but not the sequels/prequels), Kim Stanley Robinson's Mars trilogy, World of Warcraft, Dungeons and Dragons paper and dice, board games, card games, Community (although not as much now that Dan Harmon is gone), The Big Bang Theory, House of Cards, Nashville, Grey's Anatomy, Northern Exposure, 30 Rock, documentaries, historical fiction, classic movies, musicals, comic-book movies, Bernard Cornwell novels, Neil Gaiman, Parks and Recreation, Mad Men, Game of Thrones show (haven't read the books yet), Big Love, bluegrass, filk, country, some contemporary pop and rap, motown, jazz, folk, classical, alternative, and classic rock. This is just a sample list. I tend to watch non-traditional chick flicks, but generally when I am alone and not feeling well.

Cons: I can be clingy and/or quiet when I am scared or stressed. I have anxiety about things like insurance, managing money, buying expensive items, and paying taxes, and I tend to not do any of these things well. When I am stressed I can be agoraphobic. Birthdays and holidays don't mean a lot to me, but I do give gifts and do special things somewhat regularly, just not according to "special days." I am short (5'5") and overweight. I wear prescription glasses. I sometimes talk too much about my special interests. I can become angry quickly if I feel I am being dismissed or patronized. I sometimes handle change badly, particularly if I don't have enough information. Airports make me very nervous. I don't tend to say a lot of supportive or affectionate things, assuming that my presence and attention convey that. I have a tendency to hide my stress and tics in order to look "normal." I currently don't make a lot of money, or have a car, although I do drive and have made decent money in the past. I am uncomfortable around large groups of people (10 or more). When I need privacy, I can become irritable. I need a lot of basic communication from a partner, particularly about plans to go out or invite people over. I sometimes depend on the people close to me to pick up the slack when I am having a particularly hard time coping.

This image was taken today:

Posting again, hoping for a Northern VA guy (or girl) to see
Age: 21
Gender: Female
Location: Northern VA, close to DC
Skin: Pale White
Hair: Deep red, currently (I also wear wigs)
Eyes: Icy blue
Dating Theme Song: "Cosplay Girlfriend" or "Le Temps de L'Amour"
Orientation: Bisexual/Greysexual
Hello! I like Hetalia, Star Trek, The Big Bang Theory, Invader Zim, Doctor Who, and beauty tutorials on YouTube. I play Team Fortress 2 and Pokemon Snap, as well as Tertris for the N64. I like reading Tarot cards, and I have a Steampunk set. My favorite movies include Warm Bodies, Alice in Wonderland (animated), 9, Mystery Men, Mars Attacks, The Rocky Horror PIcture Show, Wreck It Ralph, Hetalia: Paint It White, Kung Fu Panda, The Princess and the Frog, and Repo! The Genetic Opera. I like drawing and reading, and I want to learn how to sew clothes and plushies.

I am standing by...

I am standing by...