Dating profile, part 2

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Something happened today that just reminded me of this post in particular , Jono.

A girl I met online on okcupid that I was chatting her for about 4 months, she claims to have Schizoid personality disorder on her profile. I was always sure that I have this disorder and told her so since the first message.

Our convos were most of the time humorous and light-hearted.

The last convo I had with her was a bit serious , I was kinda feeling lonely , so I decided to talk her about something little bit more serious. So I asked her how the SPD (Schizoid personality disorder) is impacting her social life , she started to tell me about her difficulties and how few friends she has.

I told her about the difficulties I have too , many which are in common with hers, and told her that I don't have friends to hang out with anymore since all my previous best friends (from school) are living now abroad or married. In sum,I told her that I am struggling in social life.

That was exactly the content of the last conversation, in summary. It was a struggles-sharing conversation , it was the FIRST convo of that kind (so it's not like i was dwelling all the time on this one) yet I supposed she would expect that since i told her about my SPD since the beginning. That made me decide to ask her for a meeting in some public place the next time i see her online.

But after that convo she stopped appearing online on my msn list for a week, yet I was seeing her active on Okcupid , I started to have my doubts but I decided to give her a chance before giving any unfair judgement.

So I waited another week , same story. I added her contact to another hotmail account that she doesn't know about , and surprise surprise!! She was online the moment I added her and glowing all green there!

So I sent her an email from my original account titled "The Last Question" : "I know you're blocking me, it's ok, you're free to block anyone, but I think I deserve an explanation at least".

I doubt she'll ever reply , but I know the reason already. She doesn't want someone with the same flaws.

So this enforced things that I previously learned from Okcupid and now i am becoming more convinced:

1- Online dating is really a waste of time
2- Most girls like to talk about their major flaws, yet they don't want any of those flaws in a potential partner. They want to "date UP" , not "date down" nor "date same level".
3- Males shouldn't disclosure about their flaws. Not so quickly at least, sadly.
4-If a girl has the same neurological syndrome or personality disorder, that doesn't mean she wants someone with the same condition, in fact it's the opposite in most cases. (well, this one overlaps with 2-)

From a woman who uses a dating site, I can tell you whats going on. People tend to change what they want from them frequently when they aren't serious about dating. I changed mine to friends only because I was only looking to chat with people online. I've got such a short attention span that as soon as anyone bombards me with small talk I don't reply.

I don't know if its the same, I've got aspergers and undiagnosed add.

Its very very likely that its nothing to do with you what she has done. She probably only made a half arsed effort on there with no intention to actually meet people and can't be bothered continuing her account. Please PLEASE, do not think this is a flaw with you. it ISN'T. Its a conflicting attitude with her.

Boo, I think you connected way too many dots.

But she didn't stop her okc, still all active there.

I know it's not me tho but she did that because of a somethimg in me, that's for certain.

And btw , she doesn't know that I wanted to meet her, as I said , I never got the chance to suggest it.

I think this probably happens for different reasons. First of all, the text you quoted happened to me about 5 months ago and I think I've moved on now. Secondly, I'm not sure that I'm entirely blameless for her blocking me. At that time, I had no experience at all with on-line dating and I think I made a number of mistakes that might of come across to her as creepy. So, with regards to that quote, I think that I probably scared her off.

I also had an experience with a different girl on OKCupid that exactly matches what Hale_Bopp described above. I had been sending messages back and forth for about 3 weeks with her and she had at some point changed her profile settings from saying she wanted a long-term relationship to saying that she only wanted new friends. I don't know when she changed those settings because, for a while, I hadn't looked at her profile at all except maybe to check if she had been on-line. Nonetheless, after those 3 weeks, she deleted her profile without warning. This story is all in this thread but I don't know if you saw my posts on it because I think you were banned at that time.

Anyway, getting back on topic. I guess by now you guys have seen my other thread about me moving off OKCupid to exchange actual emails with this one particular girl I met there. First some background information:

I first got a message that this girl had saved me to her favorites list in October last year (about the same time that the girl who blocked me in Boo's post above had sent me her first message as well). Except at that time, I wasn't sure that she was that interested in me because she didn't respond to my second message. Anyway, I decided to chance sending her a message again on 1 January this year, to which she responded a week later and then again to my reply only a month later, usually apologizing and saying that she was busy. Anyway, the point is that we didn't exchange many messages but nonetheless we ended up exchanging emails.

Now that's the background, but now for a the question:

In my first email to her, should I mention the fact that : a.) I live at home with my parents, b.) that I can't drive and/or c.) that I have Asperger Syndrome? I would at least like to be honest, judging by the fact that we'd at least known each other for 5 months on OKCupid.

Edit: I've posted this in the other thread as well.