Friendzone

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Peacesells
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04 Jul 2016, 5:11 am

wilburforce wrote:

I am not obligated to stop talking to a guy if I suspect it's possible he might be attracted to me if I like him as a friend and want to continue being friends with him, and it's not "leading him on" for me to do so.

Well of course if he doesn't tell you anything then you can't just go to him and say that you are not interested in him romantically, it would be weird. I think the only situations where you should do something is if he tells you or if he starts making gifts and spending money on you/doing a lot of favours, in those cases it's best to make things clear I think.

The_Face_of_Boo
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04 Jul 2016, 5:17 am

A man is also not obligated to maintain friendship with a woman he feels attracted to if he feels it's hurting/bothering him.

And the woman in this case should understand him and to stop accusing him that he was selfish and just after sex - it's not always for this.

I mean what? You expect a man who still likes you to be emotionally immune and to remain a friend of yours, while watching you hugging and kissing another man in every group outing?

Hell no, withdrawing from friendship is the best solution for both.

Peacesells
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04 Jul 2016, 5:39 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

Where did she say this? I can't find it.

314pe
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04 Jul 2016, 5:43 am

wilburforce wrote:

Being friends with someone does not equate to leading them on--sometimes you just like someone's company but don't feel romantically attracted to them, but that lack of attraction doesn't make you appreciate their company any less. I am not obligated to stop talking to a guy if I suspect it's possible he might be attracted to me if I like him as a friend and want to continue being friends with him, and it's not "leading him on" for me to do so.

Depends on what is and what isn't 'leading him on'. Some may consider a movie and a romantic dinner a "leading him on" thing and some may not.

HighLlama
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04 Jul 2016, 6:05 am

314pe wrote:

wilburforce wrote:

Depends on what is and what isn't 'leading him on'. Some may consider a movie and a romantic dinner a "leading him on" thing and some may not.

Why would you have a romantic dinner if you have no romantic interest?

The_Face_of_Boo
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04 Jul 2016, 6:20 am

Peacesells wrote:

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

Where did she say this? I can't find it.

I am not replying anyone. - this was a general statement.

Alliekit
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04 Jul 2016, 6:23 am

Wilburforce never claimed dishonesty she can hardly apprach every guy she thinks might have a crush in her and go 'oh by the way I'm not attracted to you' for starters it's rude if they haven't made their feelings clear and secondly she might be incorrect.

Also I hate to say it but us women are weaker than men. We do get afraid of someone gets angry and cusses at us even if it's over text. If someone threatens to rape you (which happened to my friend over text when she told a guy she wasn't interested) you have a right to feel afraid. Ever since that my friend has been frightened to say no to anyone.

Also @boo she never claimed they were and you are right a guy isn't obligated to remain friends.

Alot of girls don't assume you were friends woth them just for sex. They assume that you are friends and you developed feelings for them.

You know girls get put in the friendzone too. I liked a guy for a year and a half woth him knowing and never telling me he wasn't interested.

@highlama good point hehehe

The_Face_of_Boo
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04 Jul 2016, 6:41 am

Alliekit wrote:

Also @boo she never claimed they were and you are right a guy isn't obligated to remain friends.

Alot of girls don't assume you were friends woth them just for sex. They assume that you are friends and you developed feelings for them.

What you are saying is what usually happens, friends first, no attraction at first, then developing feeling with time.

However, the general narrative/assumption of this scenario is that the guy is befriending the girl because he was planning to get into her pants from the beginning. I am responding to this general narrative.

ShesGone
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04 Jul 2016, 6:46 am

uh..

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ShesGone
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04 Jul 2016, 6:48 am

Friendzone exists that's how this term came from.

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Peacesells
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04 Jul 2016, 6:52 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

I am not replying anyone. - this was a general statement.

You sounded like you were addressing someone.

Alliekit wrote:

Also I hate to say it but us women are weaker than men. We do get afraid of someone gets angry and cusses at us even if it's over text. If someone threatens to rape you (which happened to my friend over text when she told a guy she wasn't interested) you have a right to feel afraid. Ever since that my friend has been frightened to say no to anyone.

But it really sucks that if the girl doesn't like us back she might think that we are violent or rapists. I wouldn't want anyone to think that of me.

Quote:

You know girls get put in the friendzone too. I liked a guy for a year and a half woth him knowing and never telling me he wasn't interested.

Did you tell him openly? Was he taking advantage of your feelings?

ShesGone
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04 Jul 2016, 6:57 am

Peacesells wrote:

But it really sucks that if the girl doesn't like us back she might think that we are violent or rapists. I wouldn't want anyone to think that of me.

No.

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314pe
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04 Jul 2016, 7:24 am

HighLlama wrote:

314pe wrote:

wilburforce wrote:

Depends on what is and what isn't 'leading him on'. Some may consider a movie and a romantic dinner a "leading him on" thing and some may not.

Why would you have a romantic dinner if you have no romantic interest?

I'm not sure because I personally wouldn't. But for some people it's normal to go out for a dinner at a restaurant or even kiss or even have sex with a friend. I would feel like I was being lead on in a situation like this, but I know people who think it's ok.

Peacesells
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04 Jul 2016, 7:25 am

ShesGone wrote:

Peacesells wrote:

But it really sucks that if the girl doesn't like us back she might think that we are violent or rapists. I wouldn't want anyone to think that of me.

No.

What do you mean? I was not asking a question.

ShesGone
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04 Jul 2016, 7:26 am

^ Sorry. :mrgreen:

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Alliekit
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04 Jul 2016, 7:34 am

Peacesells wrote:

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

I am not replying anyone. - this was a general statement.

You sounded like you were addressing someone.

Alliekit wrote:

But it really sucks that if the girl doesn't like us back she might think that we are violent or rapists. I wouldn't want anyone to think that of me.

Quote:

You know girls get put in the friendzone too. I liked a guy for a year and a half woth him knowing and never telling me he wasn't interested.

Did you tell him openly? Was he taking advantage of your feelings?

It's not that she thinks of all men like that guy it's just made her put a guard up. Even if he didn't plan to do it the threat was still very scary and the police had to be called.

I did tell him openly and I was stupid enough to come running whenever he needed help with work or was bored

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