Majority of autistuc men dont have a girlfriend?

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Graves Knight
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22 Jul 2024, 1:29 pm

TwilightPrincess wrote:
I didn’t say that all the information isn’t valid. I said there’s a lot of misinformation out there. With the popularity of Incel sites, it seems like the likelihood of misinformation spreading and becoming popular is quite high.

It’s easy for folks to view a given demographic as “the other” when we are all people and aren’t intrinsically that different from each other.


I understand what you're saying. Popularity equals a higher likelihood of spreading false information. We would have to separate facts from fiction which is very annoying; especially how fast information can now travel.

"It’s easy for folks to view a given demographic as “the other” when we are all people and aren’t intrinsically that different from each other."
So what's your personal take on that not being obvious for most?


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22 Jul 2024, 1:43 pm

I think it’s obvious to more people than you think.

With that being said, I think a lot of beliefs surrounding gender are built into society, and people absorb them from early childhood on up whether they are valid or not.

It seems like those in more conservative areas/cultures are more likely to adhere rigidly to/believe in established gender norms while others are more likely to question them and break the mold. I experienced that first hand having grown up in a conservative, fundamentalist religion, and eventually, leaving it behind as I questioned everything else in the process.

I was raised with a lot of erroneous beliefs surrounding gender.



Graves Knight
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22 Jul 2024, 1:55 pm

TwilightPrincess wrote:
I think it’s obvious to more people than you think.

With that being said, I think a lot of beliefs surrounding gender are built into society, and people absorb them from early childhood on up.

It seems like people in more conservative areas/cultures are more likely to adhere rigidly to/believe in established gender norms while others are more likely to question them and break the mold. I experienced that first hand having grown up in a conservative, fundamentalist religion, and eventually, leaving it behind as I questioned everything else in the process.


I'm curious on your life story. I'd like to hear it sometime. (and anyone else can share too because learning other peoples perspectives is interesting to me.) A simple question then.

Do you think men and woman are equal or are different to compliment the other?


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22 Jul 2024, 2:03 pm

I think men and women are equal. That’s not to say that there aren’t any differences. I just think much of them are socialized or even nonexistent due to misinformation and confirmation bias.



Graves Knight
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22 Jul 2024, 2:43 pm

TwilightPrincess wrote:
I think men and women are equal. That’s not to say that there aren’t any differences. I just think much of them are socialized or even nonexistent due to misinformation and confirmation bias.


That's a good take. In my personal opinion, I think men and women are different to compliment one another. I came to this conclusion because I'd prefer to look at actions and research before agreeing on what's being socialized. For example a person working with machines in factories vs being a teacher or a nurse. It seems like most women (not all) don't pick the jobs that men are mostly in. It's the same for men too. Most men seem to be more interested with things vs most women being more interested in the healthy upbringing of people.

Politically speaking, Women are more towards the left, and men more to the right; especially nowadays. That doesn't seem equal to me. As for the misinformation, something that could be true can be written off as misinformation as well.


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22 Jul 2024, 3:00 pm

I don’t really think that men and women “complement” each other outside of reproduction although that idea was a big one in the religion I was raised in and was somewhat romanticized. Women do tend to go for more social service jobs than men do. I suspect the reason for that is a complex interplay of nature and nature. Still, some men go for those jobs as well. Also, some careers that were male-dominated in the past are becoming increasingly less so which, once again, seems to point to a strong socialized component in our preferences. If there isn’t a strong female presence in a particular field, the subconscious notion that it’s possible may not be present in young people. Sociological research indicates that it’s also true of other demographics like race. It takes time and trailblazers for that to change.

Women do tend to be more liberal than men are. Some of that is related to the importance of the #MeToo movement in addition to other core issues/rights we are continuing to fight for in order to make things more equal.



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22 Jul 2024, 3:23 pm

Graves Knight wrote:
TwilightPrincess wrote:
I think men and women are equal. That’s not to say that there aren’t any differences. I just think much of them are socialized or even nonexistent due to misinformation and confirmation bias.


That's a good take. In my personal opinion, I think men and women are different to compliment one another. I came to this conclusion because I'd prefer to look at actions and research before agreeing on what's being socialized. For example a person working with machines in factories vs being a teacher or a nurse. It seems like most women (not all) don't pick the jobs that men are mostly in. It's the same for men too. Most men seem to be more interested with things vs most women being more interested in the healthy upbringing of people.



My mother just spent seven weeks in hospital so I can comment on healthcare, at least as it is here.

There were far more male nurses and support aides than female, and far more female doctors than male.

Of all her nurses and aides (shifts changed twice a day for seven weeks and we seldom saw the same person twice - do the math), I'd say 3/4 were men. Actually they were men of colour too, if that matters. The fact they were usually men was very apparent because my mother is 85 and had a broken hip but they kept sending men in to do her nursing care, insert and change catheters, change her diaper, clean her bottom, stand with her in the bathroom when she started using the toilet again, or even to change her gowns.

She was very upset that they were men. I asked her how men might feel being the patient with female nurses / aides, and if it might be equivalent to the way she felt. That seemed to put things in a bit of perspective but she was still pretty freaked out. The only time they specifically sent women was for showering but that seemed redundant since the men had been all up in her business anyway.

The doctors were all women except for one man. Her follow up appointments with a fracture clinic and with Geriatrics are with women as well.

Her home-care physiotherapist is a man.

My doctor is a woman and my dentist is an Iraqi woman. Interestingly, the only male doctor I have is my Gynaecologist.


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22 Jul 2024, 3:31 pm

^ That’s very interesting!

It wouldn’t surprise me if there are more gendered professions in conservative areas as opposed to liberal ones. In the culture I grew up in, people would’ve made fun of male nurses. :roll:

My brother is thinking about doing a career change into nursing. I’m trying not to push him either way because I want to be supportive no matter what he chooses, but I really hope he goes for it.



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22 Jul 2024, 3:32 pm

TwilightPrincess wrote:
There’s a lot of misinformation out there. The popularity of certain ideas on some podcasts, channels, sites, etc. doesn’t mean that the information is valid (argumentum ad populum). There’s a lot of attention devoted to any number of conspiracy theories/pseudoscientific nonsense. It doesn’t mean there’s any truth to them.

Confirmation bias seems to play a big role with sexist generalizations. People tend to only see that which seems to confirm their preconceived notions and ignore that which doesn’t.


Ok so that probably applies to a number of things where we all fall into different types of implicit bias. Why? conditioning. So what's the solution? education? I deal with highly educated people every day of my life and you know what, I think they aren't much different and fall for the same erroneous (and often petty) beliefs as the people you are typecasting as "susceptible" to "misinformation".

Dealing with men on the spectrum (the topic thread) there's a school of thought that they should also have the freedom to try different things and the freedom to fail and try something better. Within boundaries (personal safety and the safety/respect of others) try on belief systems (like clothes) but have the skill to critically evaluate them. When they realise intrinsically its morally/ethically wrong they will discard it.

Following red pill philosophy demeans women but rather than shield/conceal men, expose them to these systems of thinking (like racism, elitism, albelism (insert ism)). Otherwise how are they going to intrinsically change?



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22 Jul 2024, 3:34 pm

TwilightPrincess wrote:
I don’t really think that men and women “complement” each other outside of reproduction although that idea was a big one in the religion I was raised in and was somewhat romanticized. Women do tend to go for more social service jobs than men do. I suspect the reason for that is a complex interplay of nature and nature. Still, some men go for those jobs as well. Also, some careers that were male-dominated in the past are becoming increasingly less so which, once again, seems to point to a strong socialized component in our preferences. If there isn’t a strong female presence in a particular field, the subconscious notion that it’s possible may not be present in young people. Sociological research indicates that it’s also true of other demographics like race. It takes time and trailblazers for that to change.

Women do tend to be more liberal than men are. Some of that is related to the importance of the #MeToo movement in addition to other core issues/rights we are continuing to fight for in order to make things more equal.


Current research suggests that gender differences are more of a social construct > biological like race etc....



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22 Jul 2024, 3:36 pm

Graves Knight wrote:
I'd prefer to look at actions and research before agreeing on what's being socialized. For example a person working with machines in factories vs being a teacher or a nurse. It seems like most women (not all) don't pick the jobs that men are mostly in. It's the same for men too. Most men seem to be more interested with things vs most women being more interested in the healthy upbringing of people.


Interesting take



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22 Jul 2024, 3:37 pm

^^^ The problem is that Incel ideology functions a lot like cults. People who are liable to falling for such nonsense have a hard time finding their way out. Given that autistics are statistically more likely to becomes Incels, it’s an important thing to address when it comes up on this forum because it doesn’t seem like that way of thinking will lead to happiness or (successful) relationships.

Whatever the case may be, folks are free to address sexist nonsense when it arises here. Female members have to deal with a lot of it.



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22 Jul 2024, 3:37 pm

SkinnyElephant wrote:
funeralxempire wrote:
Why do boring people have so much contempt for people who prefer not-boring?


Pot, meet kettle. You complain about us supposedly having contempt for non-boring folk. Yet you're expressing contempt for "boring folk."

Many (perhaps most) spectrum folk are boring by normie standards. Apparently you're the exception (On another thread, you were celebrating marijuana and excess alcohol consumption. On this thread, you're complaining about how boring we supposedly are).

We don't have contempt for "non-boring" folk. All we're doing is acknowledging the fact a lot of normies aren't compatible with us.

Being on the spectrum, I'm surprised you aren't more sympathetic toward the fact a lot of us are "boring" (even if you personally aren't "boring")


I think you and I both know this is subjective thinking. What's cool/exciting for "normies" and what's likewise for "neurodivergent" is all in the eye of the beholder.



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22 Jul 2024, 3:39 pm

* I just booked my Colonoscopy with a General Surgeon and she's a woman too.

Your brother should go for it, TP. Send him my vote lol.

Personally, when I hear terms like "male nurse" I think it means it's a nurse of any gender who specializes in men's issues like Urology or Proctology, but I grew up in a very liberal area which isn't just liberal but also LGBTQ affirming. It's not even uncommon to encounter trans professionals in various public positions now and then.


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22 Jul 2024, 3:43 pm

TwilightPrincess wrote:
^^^ The problem is that Incel ideology functions a lot like cults. People who are liable to falling for such nonsense have a hard time finding their way out. Given that autistics are statistically more likely to becomes Incels, it’s an important thing to address when it comes up on this forum because it doesn’t seem like that way of thinking will lead to happiness or (successful) relationships..


Of course, there are echo chambers that cultivate extreme thinking and these are dangerous. But this problem exists with radical thinking when it comes to religion, race and politics too. How do you prevent people from joining incel groups? for that matter what is going in the heads of 75 million Americans (a bigger problem) who think Donald trump is a suitable person to lead their country? Apparently voting in sociopathic criminals is a democratic right?

Yes, maybe young autistic men are susceptible to incel philosophy, but it's like trying to enforce the internet with porn, ideally you don't want your kids to look at it but ultimately they will and you hope they make the right choices.



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22 Jul 2024, 3:45 pm

None of that changes the fact that people are free to respectfully debate/disagree with folks on here as they see fit. Incel posts/threads are often removed or locked, too.