Aspie eyes

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ah, delusions. don't we all have some!

I do stare alot, and I've scared some people by doing so.
I've also noticed quite a few aspies have daydreamy eyes, like they're somewhere else, my best friend (aspie) has eyes like that, and I find it attractive because it gives him a mysterious look.

I've found out that I have a facial expression that goes on automaticly when I recognice that someone is focusing at me, no matter why they do it. I allways start smilying and have no way of stoping it.

It's annoying the hell out of my dad when he's trying to have the "serious talk" with me and I allways smile. ^^
(This might explain why people allways see me as such a positive person.)

I've allso noticed that as soon as someone is talking to me I allways focus on what they say, everything els disapears, I don't see anything and have no idea where I am.
I think this has something to do with that if I'm looking at something I have problems hearing that people are saying, I can hear that they are saying something, but can't make out what untill I shift attention to them.

Still, I've never had any comments on scary/dreamy eyes, mayby because I don't look at people.

And just to add my eyes to the list, green-blue eyes, more green when it's darker around me and more blue when lights are on.

I always have to make a choice. Either I'm going to listen to what the hell they're on about, or I'm going to analyze their facial expressions and their movements. It's seemingly impossible for me to do both. Unfortunately, the choice is somewhat automated and I usually end up analyzing and don't understand anything they're saying.

Yeah, me too... though my default is to listen, so I completely miss the facial cues, though I do pick up posture clues because I look vaguely in the speaker's direction.

I found your point about being able to read actions very spot on... I work with dogs and horses and have, through keen observation of their actions, 'solved' some difficult training problems. When I was younger and worked as an assistant trainer in a show horse barn, all the problem horses were on my string because I was so good at sussing out each horse's need.

Unfortunately, with people this doesn't seem to translate much into understanding motivation, but rather recognizing stress, fatigue, illness, reluctance, etc. And I'm pretty much up a creek about what to do about most of it, as you can't treat a person like a horse... I've tried, they don't take it well. Because a human's mind is the dominant factor in the relationship and that is a right twisty sucker.

Edited to add: Also, not reading the face means I'm not picking up important modifying information... What is displayed in the facial expression modifies what the body is doing. So though the body may be giving every evidence of pain, the person may actually be feeling pretty good due to mental factors I'm not picking up on.

Thank you Bazza, Lab Pet likes too, & others here!

With Autism/AS there's always that conundrum with eye contact (or lack of.....sigh) and our eyes are often enough noted. Even my eye doctor has commented on my dilated pupils, photosensitivity, etc.

But remember (for LePetitePrince), no one is saying a diagnostic marker of one's AS is based upon one's eyes nor is there a statistical correlation implied (that I'm aware of anyway). But there's plenty enough of evidence that there is in fact a link.

I wish I were able to make eye contact but it's just so hard. I know this is part of why I cannot read emotions and I'm so sorry. I don't mean to make anyone uncomfortable because I just cannot do the eye contact part. I've been told I do have pretty eyes. Ironically, I've been told that my eyes look like one who has epilepsy - not sure why. The intense staring part most likely.

I think the term 'Aspie eyes' may be referring to more than just the eyeballs. From context, I believe it is referring to particular facial expressions... meaning, including the setting of the eyes... the squint, the slightly lowered brow, the creased forehead, the lower face blank... the look we have on our face when we are slightly puzzled or thinking, trying to figure something out.

It's been my experience, and I think many Aspie's experience, that this look is interpreted negatively.

Nts seem to assume we're angry, and probably at them.

I have photosensitivity too. But for me, I think its more to do with having pale retinas (something my optometrist commented on) which goes with having a very pale complexion (Viking ancestors).

Regarding aspie eyes, I also have better than normal vision (now need glasses - but corrected vision is still >average) - according to my optometrist. So my vision is better, (sharper) than most people. I wonder if other WP'ers are also and if that's a related sign/symptom - that we see things more sharply?

When I was a young adult (c1980) people told me I didn't make eye contact, so then I made a point of making eye contact, then I was told I was "staring" - now I think I have it about right, but it requires conscious thought.

PS - does anyone find this uncomfortable/confronting? (below pic)

On another form, someone used a similar pic as an avatar that I found uncomfortable.


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^ Yes. I think looking into eyes is (unsure of word) > disarming? Much like looking at moving water which can be disorienting. A trait of Autism, at whatever 'level of functioning' is difficulty with eye contact and expression in general.

Your opthamologist (= 'off-the-wallogist' ) is right on.

^ it's ok, they like to be called that.

^
^I too have photosensativity and whenever the camera shoots, my eyes always come out red while everyone else's eyes are normal.

It must mean I'm evil....

In many old cultures, the eyes were the mirrors of the soul. We have adopted a lot of the old beliefs into our modern cultures, but have developed them into better suited concepts. A person with "beautiful" eyes, for example, is actually having an expression of affection that is pleasant to look at. And evil and mad cartoon professors always have one pupil (and sometimes also the iris) larger than the other one, which usually is drawn as a simple dot. Big, wide open eyes are biologically an expression of fear. And the fear expression is biologically meant to scare off any attackers (but big eyes also has a dual function to gather as much information about the situation as possible). Therefore, big wide open "expressionless" eyes seem scary and sometimes evil. Especially for neuro typicals that heavily rely on this kind of information.

The aspie eyes, are like DonkeyBuster mentioned, actually the complete facial expression in which the eyes have a big part. It's not the eyeballs themselves (they are spherical no matter what), but how the different facial muscles deform your face to express an emotion. When your face is completely relaxed (no muscles in use except maybe to make the eyes even bigger), you have the "aspie look". I've found that squinting just a little bit is enough to remove that impression in a conversation. Although it needs training; I still can't concentrate on what anybody is saying and at the same time concentrate on squinting.

Yes, the blank face does seem very disconcerting to NTs.
I guess what I described was the 'Aspie glare'. ?

The cartoons with the depiction of the mad scientist with one pupil larger than the other are conveying 'madness', insanity, unbalance... one pupil larger than the other is a sign of head trauma, brain damage.

Kennie, I noticed what you're noticing now when I was 14. I've become so accustomed to people, that I can comprehend and FULLY(!) anticipate their thoughts, I.E. The basic processes that flow through their mind. I've become so good, that, before my mom wants to whinge about something, I've already begun saying "Yes I will..*Insert task here*"

And here's the kicker: This Social Pattern Intuition (SPI for short, yes, I WILL patent it soon) doesn't seem to work well with sentient thought. I can very well converse with others and get along, and, when I'm alone, I can take a moment to run by WHY I can extrapolate their thoughts...But when I try to realize "how" I SPI people WHILST I'm doing it, I go into system shutdown.

The entire SPI thing is something I've never seen in another autie but me. It's not ACTUALLY intuitive, as in, wired in at birth, but I've learned it from hours upon hours of looking at people, and seeing ém type.

Tip and warning time: TIP: If you get used to it, and trust yourself that the words that are about to leave your mouth will help, not harm the conversation, that you actually make coherent and complex sense.. You'll be fine, most of the time.
Warning: However, sometimes you may mis-enterpret signals. For instance, my mom has a new way to show her anger. Now, every time she's busy, I assume she hates me...

Just trust yourself, and be ready to "double-check" what you were thinking the other person meant when you mess up.

Beside that, this is the closest to NT instinctual mood-response any Aspie's gonna get.

Oh, and if you want, I can teach you how to weaponize it, Bobby Goren style*Grin*

LivingOutsideTheBox: Yeah that seems accurate. You're describing what I meant to describe, except I haven't found a name for it yet. SPI - I like it.

heh, most people think im out to murder someone when i give one of those stares, lately been trying to change that, but i dunno. Its kinda fun entertaining the thought of a shizm in society to the point when there is a war between aspies and NTs, not necesarily full blown, but its hard to explain what i mean, why do i feel like ive watche the matrix one too many times after saying and thinking this up...

No wonder all the neurotypicals think we're psychos, hehehehe >,>