The Manipulated Man

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I just spent three hours volunteering to clean up litter. I was trying to be nice the whole time, but I felt wretched. (I wore all black... maybe I panicked about the social stigma I might have received...)

It's so hard to live a good, clean life when you feel like there's a chip in your brain that goes bvvvvvvvvvt when you do something nice. People try to be macho and say that we shouldn't allow ourselves to be manipulated, but the fact is that if you kick a dog for bringing you a flower, that dog will feel manipulated.

Speaking of male manipulation, get a load of this:

^^ The worst part is that I actually believed in stuff like this.