07 Oct 2009, 11:52 am
Shebakoby wrote:
Dilbert wrote:
Us on the spectrum tend to project our shortcomings and use them as excuse as to why we are chronically single.
I know exactly why I'm chronically single. I was mistreated by every male I came across in school and thus developed a deep distrust of males. But I was never asked out anyway.
You were mistrated because you are on the spectrum! Most of us have been bullied in school, for example. That is not a coincidence. Someone once said that AS brings out the worst in people. I couldn't agree more!
Yeah it is really easy to just assume every member of the opposite sex is out to (ab)use us and break our hearts. I myself have been very very close to giving up on women all together. I've been dissapointed a number of times just in the past few years. But not every woman is a cold hearted b***h. Whenever I meet someone new I see it as an opportunity to start anew.
I'm sorry to hear about your Lyme disease.
It sounds awful. deadeyexx wrote:
Your weight can be a problem to some, but shouldn't keep you from getting dates unless you only go for superficial model types. It's all in your head. Everyone has some kind of shortcoming, and always will. If they solve one problem, it just makes another one look bigger. Can't let this stuff get to you, as I'm sure you have enough good qualities to date anyone you want.
THIS!
07 Oct 2009, 1:23 pm
07 Oct 2009, 1:26 pm
07 Oct 2009, 1:30 pm
Dilbert wrote:
Shebakoby wrote:
Dilbert wrote:
Us on the spectrum tend to project our shortcomings and use them as excuse as to why we are chronically single.
I know exactly why I'm chronically single. I was mistreated by every male I came across in school and thus developed a deep distrust of males. But I was never asked out anyway.
You were mistrated because you are on the spectrum! Most of us have been bullied in school, for example. That is not a coincidence. Someone once said that AS brings out the worst in people. I couldn't agree more!
Yeah it is really easy to just assume every member of the opposite sex is out to (ab)use us and break our hearts. I myself have been very very close to giving up on women all together. I've been dissapointed a number of times just in the past few years. But not every woman is a cold hearted b***h. Whenever I meet someone new I see it as an opportunity to start anew.
I'm sorry to hear about your Lyme disease.
It sounds awful. Yeah, it is. Getting it in the middle of High School and then being misdiagnosed for nigh on 20 years really messed my life up, at least as much as teh ASD did. Before I got it I was VERY active. I was even able to ride my 1-speed BMX bike up "Lakes Road Hill" (a fairly steep hill that most kids have to GET OFF AND WALK THEIR BIKES up) without getting off the bike. One time I was riding (in about grade 6) and my hood was up, and I was wearing a rather masculine jacket, and some kids behind me commented, "He must be very strong." I was thinking LOL if only they knew it's a girl riding that bike...
Dilbert wrote:
deadeyexx wrote:
Your weight can be a problem to some, but shouldn't keep you from getting dates unless you only go for superficial model types. It's all in your head. Everyone has some kind of shortcoming, and always will. If they solve one problem, it just makes another one look bigger. Can't let this stuff get to you, as I'm sure you have enough good qualities to date anyone you want.
THIS!
Yeah, the problem is, usually I'll never know what the immediate dealbreaker (cause for pre-emptive rejection) is....
07 Oct 2009, 1:50 pm
Shebakoby wrote:
hmm 6'1? Perhaps your height causes them to believe you're not really female, or were once male?
In this short-arse, conservative, bigoted, narrow-minded c(o)untry, that *could* be part of it - at least among Lilliputians who don't know me personally. As I mentioned in another thread, a gay male at a NYC bar once mistook me for a male transvestite, and was infuriated when he discovered that I'm female. I'm apparently too tall and too pretty to be a girl.
Then again, I really don't know of any tall female athletes being mistaken for men, except for that poor South African, Caster Semenya, who may be a hermaphrodite. People here in the U.S. (NTs, I should say) are simply ignorant, unfortunately. A 6'1" female isn't that big of a deal in countries where the overall population's tall.
07 Oct 2009, 2:39 pm
SINsister wrote:
Shebakoby wrote:
hmm 6'1? Perhaps your height causes them to believe you're not really female, or were once male?
In this short-arse, conservative, bigoted, narrow-minded c(o)untry, that *could* be part of it - at least among Lilliputians who don't know me personally. As I mentioned in another thread, a gay male at a NYC bar once mistook me for a male transvestite, and was infuriated when he discovered that I'm female. I'm apparently too tall and too pretty to be a girl.
Infuriated? Haha so much for 'tolerance'. Disappointment I can understand, but fury? Good lord. Sounds like guy had issues.
SINsister wrote:
Then again, I really don't know of any tall female athletes being mistaken for men, except for that poor South African, Caster Semenya, who may be a hermaphrodite. People here in the U.S. (NTs, I should say) are simply ignorant, unfortunately. A 6'1" female isn't that big of a deal in countries where the overall population's tall.
yup. But they're ignorant in a lot of other places too. Like Canada.
07 Oct 2009, 4:49 pm
07 Oct 2009, 5:14 pm
SINsister wrote:
Shebakoby wrote:
hmm 6'1? Perhaps your height causes them to believe you're not really female, or were once male?
In this short-arse, conservative, bigoted, narrow-minded c(o)untry, that *could* be part of it - at least among Lilliputians who don't know me personally. As I mentioned in another thread, a gay male at a NYC bar once mistook me for a male transvestite, and was infuriated when he discovered that I'm female. I'm apparently too tall and too pretty to be a girl.
Then again, I really don't know of any tall female athletes being mistaken for men, except for that poor South African, Caster Semenya, who may be a hermaphrodite. People here in the U.S. (NTs, I should say) are simply ignorant, unfortunately. A 6'1" female isn't that big of a deal in countries where the overall population's tall.
So in that case, people should think that I was once a female...
07 Oct 2009, 6:07 pm
07 Oct 2009, 6:22 pm
Shebakoby wrote:
Merle wrote:
Quote:
I know that a number of guys do not want to date women that aren't the perfect skinny fantasy with curves in all the right places.
Yes. It's a fact. There are also guys out there who date asians, white or black women explicitly. There is nothing wrong with it. If you're not their type then no worries. There are guys who have been coined 'chubby chasers'.
It's a big world full of different people and different people who love them.
Quote:
Now, on top of the whole AS problem, how much more of a burden does weight add upon the average AS person? Especially women?
It is not the weight itself, it's the perception and the burden the weight adds to the persons psyche.
A person comfortable with their weight and accepts it (regardless of being thin/thick) is going to be confident and that is going to shine through.
A person uncomfortable with their weight, regardless of BMI or waist-ratios, then they're going to a lot less successful in relationships and dating.
Myself, I am not obviously uncomfortable with my weight. I don't really think about it when I'm out and in town. It's one of those things I think about later when I'm at home.
Ah, then that's good!
I heard a song about a month back (yes, I listen to country too) called "rockin' the beer gut" which had me laughing when I first heard it.
There's nothing wrong with analyzing/criticism in the privacy of your own home. Makes us want to be better. But in public, people should feel comfortable in their own skin. If not, they have a tendency to want to run home and hide, which sets up a pretty vicious cycle.
spooky13
Velociraptor
Joined: 14 Jul 2009
Age: 59
Gender: Female
Posts: 499
Location: Drifting through the fog of reality
07 Oct 2009, 7:10 pm
I've been extremely thin, and way too overweight, now I'm still got some weight on, (5'7 - 200lbs) but I'm comfortable with it for the most part. I'm also at the point where if someone doesn't like or accept me for who I am in and out, they can go take a flying %$!.
You don't have to be thin to be attractive, men or women. There was a thread a while back talking about models, and how people perceived them, yet no one ever brought up full figured models. There's some beautiful full figured women out there.
07 Oct 2009, 9:52 pm
Shebakoby wrote:
Infuriated? Haha so much for 'tolerance'. Disappointment I can understand, but fury? Good lord. Sounds like guy had issues.
Oh, aye. He'd had what amounted to a temper tantrum. The amusing (?) aspect of it was that I had no idea that the fit he'd pitched was over *me* until the folks I was with told me after the fact (i.e., after his pal had bodily escorted him away from my table). As usual, I was utterly oblivious. My acquaintances were hysterical; I was mortified.
Shebakoby wrote:
yup. But they're ignorant in a lot of other places too. Like Canada.
...but, I suspect, not in Scandinavia or the Netherlands - where I'd move in an instant, if I could.
08 Oct 2009, 8:03 am
spooky13 wrote:
I've been extremely thin, and way too overweight, now I'm still got some weight on, (5'7 - 200lbs) but I'm comfortable with it for the most part. I'm also at the point where if someone doesn't like or accept me for who I am in and out, they can go take a flying %$!.
You don't have to be thin to be attractive, men or women. There was a thread a while back talking about models, and how people perceived them, yet no one ever brought up full figured models. There's some beautiful full figured women out there.
You don't have to be thin to be attractive, men or women. There was a thread a while back talking about models, and how people perceived them, yet no one ever brought up full figured models. There's some beautiful full figured women out there.
From watching America's Next Top Model with my wife (I don't really care for it personally), I think in the modelling world they are looking for faces and bodies that can be easily photoshopped. The girls they pick are always quite...odd looking, IMHO.
The plus size models they have are the only ones that ever seem to have a pretty face to me.
08 Oct 2009, 8:10 pm
09 Oct 2009, 12:48 am
09 Oct 2009, 10:59 am
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