People Say I Shouldn't Actually "Look"...wish I un

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JDavis, it seems that you are a lucky person; I wish that I didn’t need someone. I bet if you were to give me some advice on this topic, I could do very little with it.

I am 32 and I can tell you, I have done everything in my power to overcome emptiness. I know that without someone I will always be stuck on ant-depressants. So long as I am, I cannot consider myself happy.

I have surfed the internet for a cure for loneliness or even a cure for Asperger , but I never find anything new. The only thing that I have to keep me going is hope.

Just finding a partner isn't going to magically fix the problems you have, because that's not the cause of the problems. You have to love yourself before you can love another. You'll never get anywhere unless you fix those problems first. Your image of yourself is damaged by years of negative thinking, and I'm guessing some outside circumstances (not to mention AS). If you have such a low opinion of yourself, how can you expect anyone else to not think the same?

Maybe am the opposite and big headed, when you logic and science is on your side your not too shy to tell it as it is. I am not going to spend too much time finding the acceptable level of confidence between negative and arrogance. I have AS, I have more important things to worry about.

For me being lonely = depression,. I get this depression even if I am busy, whether that be running for a bus, working, or sleeping. Affirmations and thinking of positive can only go so far.

If I didn’t feel lonely, I would be happy, I would see problem of life as a challenge, I wouldn’t want the computer game to be any easier baby.

I just want enough love to stop me from feeling depressed.

Desperation is not a turn-on, but interest IS, for me, anyway. I generally do NOT want things I think I can't have! ((I'm absolutely serious about this. There are some things I'll idly "wish" for but I only actually want something I think I can have in general.))



Sensitive is fine; but someone who thought I "completed them" or something similar would worry me as a student of psychology. It's not healthy.



Good point.

I can cope with sensitivity to a certain degree.

But when it gets to the "oh I miss you sooooo much i'm so depressed" after not seing them for a few days - a week, and the "oh don't go" everytime you have to leave then they have got to go.

I am fully aware of that. I know it'll bring on a new range of challenges. But right now, life is kind of hollow. I've been doing the 'young single carefree man' now for so long that there's little pleasure to be had from the freedoms which 'attached' people seem to envy.

People who say 'there's nothing wrong with being single' may well be speaking accurately for themselves but they cannot speak for others. Some of us are developing deep-rooted desire, something that can't be fulfilled with AS-fuelled obsessions, alcohol, drugs, psychotherapy or encouraging words. Something that cannot be explained with words alone.

Lol, I look at a lot of the aspie guys who can get lost in obsessions and 'things' and think "must be nice". I wish I had that, but on the other hand it seems like my only obsession is improving my life and doing whatever it takes to correct and readjust any parts of my own personality which I feel are giving me problems. It's probably helping to an extent but I'm probably getting pretty bland in terms of my amount of interest in 'things'.

Sorry to tell you this dude - but when I'm DJing, The Cure goes down OK but the real female attention doesn't start until I play Rick Astley or Billy Ocean

Maybe he needs to go white Jean Paul, get his racing jacket, the hat tipped to the side, the whole gangsta lean, a tatoo on his neck, and walk arround with a perpetual grin cut on his face - lol, women like that even way more than all those pretty rock dweebs.

I am kind of developing that same kind obsession, improving my life, reaching the ranks of the latte drinking professionals, turning myself from a total dork nerd into a GQ reading latte drinking professional.

I tried to re-define myself in my second year at Uni - merely by actively making an effort not to do the things people complained about. Carefully considering every word I said. I lasted about 6 weeks before I cracked under the pressure of putting on a 'facade'. We can tweak our personalities to fit in with society, but wholesale revolution is hard to keep up for anything other than short periods of time.

Unless your just absolutely and sadistically callous to yourself about it. When I was really trying to crush those habits I really just lost all rationality to myself and became by far the most hardcore and twisted bully I ever had. Then again I had to change those things by any means necessary, *any*.

Good advice Hale,
I personally delay judgement on my opinion on this subject for 15 years, then I will have the benefit of hindsight that the things I am currently doing have worked or not.

Why do you listen to that guy? He's just trying to make a buck. all his DVDs and books are WAY overpriced. Ya he's right about how alot of women are however I disagree with his techniques. You can only put on the cocky/funny front for so long. Then the woman is gone when she finds out you're a fake, and that you're insecure.

Furthermore, I went on a date a couple friday ago, and lets just say it went really well. I had a real laid back attitude (I originally we were hanging out as friends) and I did try any cocky/funny stuff. I was just being myself. Whats really interesting though is a girl who's really into will laugh or giggle at anything you say even if it isn't remotely funny (hint, hint )

Don't worry about any techniques when you meet women, just relax have a good time and most of be yourself and enjoy yourself.

This does not really apply as much to Aspie women, but inability to read non-verbal cues and being bad at small talk, plus it is the Male's role to intitative romantic relationships seriously hamper Aspie guys chances in getting into romantic relationships versus NT males. The social isolation and fewer friends Aspies generally have compared to NT's is another factor as well.

It depends what you want.

I would date an aspie in a heartbeat but not just any.

Some girls just lapp up all this sensitive guy stuff, when I'd just tell the guy to pull his finger out, and vice versa. You need to find someone that's on your wavelength about this kind of thing.

Then it's win win.