Kaysea wrote:
I have had similar experiences. I was very difficult the one time I tried to have a serious relationship with a bona fide neurotypical. We worked well as friends and as friends with benefits (as I wasn't obligated to invest the same degree of time, energy, etc.). However, every time we tried to make it official, it rapidly deteriorated into a disaster.
I have had somewhat better luck dating AD(H)D'ers. However, it usually only lasts around six months or so.
My first relationship (late HS/first 5 semesters of college) worked much better. In retrospect, she was probably mild AS. One of the ways that we spent time together was to sit on opposite sides of the couch reading. Also, it may have helped that the relationship was semi-long distance for two years.
I suppose that separate rooms could be a solution. I agree, though, that many folks would find that odd. My grandparents shared a room, but had separate beds. Also, in the case of co-habitation, each person having a certain designated part of the house, such as a private study, may be a slightly less "bizarre" route. Dating a traveling musician may also be an option. I guess the important thing is to find someone who understands that you need to be alone for several hours every day, or if you take off for a day by yourself, it is not the result of anger, resentment, etc.
I guess one of my problems is that I show that I care by doing something physically manifest for my significant other, rather than more subliminal forms of 'emotional support'. People usually don't know quite how to handle it... either they take it as me coming on too strong or being too distant.
Also, I tend not to say a great deal about myself. At first, people tend to find this attractive, mysterious and endearing. Over time, they begin to view it less positively.
I guess designated portions of the house does seem far more excepted since even NT's have "man caves" and "craft rooms" and what not and an idea like that could potentially go over better and not offend in the same manner.
There actually was a time that I considered musicians, but that brings a whole new set of problems since most musicians popular enough to travel regularly tend to lean toward a physical appearance that doesnt mimic my own.
I tend to prefer people who come on strong since I am oblivious to subliminal cues, strong is the only message my brain tends to pick up. The only alternative to strong for me is patients and a lot of it because it would probably take me years to gather collective hints.