Uh... how do I respond to "I love you" when I don'

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And the thing about that is, she probably didn't even REALLY love you. She just got that you're supposed to say that in a relationship or she didn't understand her own feelings (she loved the way you made her feel, she loved the things you did for her, she just had quite an attachment to you, etc.). I think people throw around "I love you" way too much and I'm just worried that since Valentine's Day is coming up (and there's pressure to say it) and this guy is kind of scarily attached to me, that I'm going to get this dropped on me and be left with nothing to say.

You could say you care about them and they're important to you, but you don't love them yet.

If you don't want to upset the person who has said that they love you, but can't lie to them then there are several things you can say.

"you are so sweet" can work - saying they love you is a sweet thing to do so it's not a lie and it's saying a positive thing to say back.

"I really enjoy being with you" seems true from what you have said.

"I don't know if I really understand love, but I know you make me feel happy" Is truthful, explanatory and a nice positive thing to say.

I prepare statements like these because I tend to rely on stock phrases when I get flustered (which happens a lot, funnily enough).

Making whatever you say a positive thing can prevent the person who has told you they love you feeling upset, even if you are not returning the exact same sentiment to them.

I spent quite a while this year finding a valentines card that didn't say soppy untruthful things and especially didn't say "I love you". Though my problem isn't that I don't love the person I'm seeing - it's that I get uncomfortable about saying things like that.

wow, i tell my aspie friend "ILY" all the time. he always reply "ILY2" (via chat).
we've been friends for over a year.
now i wonder, after reading all the above posts,
if he is sincere or not. i mean, he might just be saying it to be socially polite.
he's very physically affectionate with me- always wants hugs and cuddles and such.
but who knows.
hmmmm....

Thats true. the social norm in high school relationships are to say i love even when you don't mean it and it doesn't really make any sense to me. It's just apparently something you are supposed to do. i find it pretty ridiculous. as the majority of high school relationships are.

There is no way you "should" feel. If you love someone you know it, lots of relationships have one sided love. Don't force yourself to believe you love him you'll know if you do aspie or not. We know when we meet someone we don't ever want to be w/o.

Yeah using it without meaning is just stupid.

BTW, I like your username

thanks lol, you a /b/rother?

I think that it is a bad idea to assume that you know what he is feeling or the source/reasoning behind it. People fall in love at different rates and it doesn't even always have to be reciprocated. And just because you may have a different definition of love than your boyfriend does, doesn't mean that you are correct and he is wrong. The feeling of love is best when shared, but it is also very personal and means something different to everyone.

I agree with HopeGrows, as I often do (she is a rather intelligent lady), that you cannot gain anything constructive in a relationship by being dishonest about your feelings. Although I disagree with almost everyone on the planet that blood relatives are an exception. But, it is my feelings, and my right to feel that way as long as I am honest with myself and with those that it impacts. I think you should be honest, but try not to assume that you know more about him than he does, he certainly can't know you more than you know yourself. If it isn't going to work out, the sooner you both know, the better. Just make sure you are very sure and very honest with yourself that you don't love him and don't think you ever will, I don't want you to regret it down the road, that tends to happen with people often.

Either way, good luck, and I wish you all the happiness, whichever way it goes.

I do know what those three words mean. But I have never heard anyone say them to me who really meant it.

I suppose if I did hear those words and the person really did mean it, I don't think I could respond in words since I am mostly non-verbal about my feelings and emotions. I don't think it means I would be unable to communicate, however.

I don't really play games like some of the fancy words being thrown around in some of the earlier posts.

When I communicate my feelings and emotions, I don't necessarily have words. Sometimes, I express them more like this:

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=3578001&id=218889302468