Anyone here afraid they will never get a girlfriend?

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its more "people as a whole" for a lot
yes a lot of aspie guys are a tad wacked lol
I used to be lol

I used to get depressed about that sort of thing but not anymore. Not worth getting depressed over.

Just watching an episode of Bridezillas will snap you right back to reality!

I have adopted this attitude completely after going through 3 girlfriends and tons of heartbreak. I have found out thought that women are attracted to this! I think its because it shows confidence (even if its artificial) and you look like you can take care of yourself which chicks dig I guess.

Yea I can relate.

Hard to know what tomorrow'll bring, tho in my case it'd be much more likely for a semi-truck to go blaring off the road and quash me than to see some lady in white embrace me.

Yes. But, it's not the short-term that worries me, it's the long-term.

No, I'm not really happy alone. The thing is, while theoretically some girl might answer yes one day, what I just don't see happening is getting in a relationship worth the effort, drama, breakup, etc. I see being in a bad relationship as a worse state than being single, and not being in a bad relationship requires some level of compatibility and acceptance, and these are so rare for me that it becomes pointless, a waste of time, effort and cash.

Learn to truly appreciate masturbation. It's your only hope.

lol nice

learn to accept your virginity
make friends with it

... If I did that, I'd still be a virgin.

I'm not a virgin. If I were that desperate for sex, I'd buy some.

Even when I pay for it, women still don't want to have sex with me.

I've got no idea how that works in the UK, so don't know where you're going wrong.

Technically the chances are non-zero if I try but the odds are so stacked against me that it seems like a total waste of time - same reason why I don't buy lottery tickets. I don't believe in flogging a dead horse, I prefer to cut my losses and move on. I have accepted (not joyfully) that I will be alone forever, that I will never get a gf or a date ever again. Actually there are two separate issues here, one that I don't know any girl with whom a relationship would have any chance of working (hence no point in asking out anyone I know to begin with), and that I don't see any girl in the future accepting me as I am, essentially because of being uncharismatic and poor social skills generally, being weird with weird interests, and not being interested in things that with the vast majority of girls are prerequisites for getting anywhere romantically (partying, clubbing, dancing).



That's more or less my experience too.



That's the mindset I'm trying to adopt. They don't care what I think of them, so why should I care what they think of me?[/quote]

That certainly is an interesting reply to what Mouldy said. You know, I feel very similar to you. I honestly feel that the majority of women will never be compatible with me because my interests are a lot more in depth than the (presumably) superficial interests of my outgoing female peers, as you said with partying, clubing, drinking, dancing etc. It is highly unlikely that an intellectually inclined introvert whose main interest is in learning all kinds of things (history, english, literature, science, weaponry, martial arts, etc) is compatible with a girl with high social intelligence but low to mediocre knowledge when it comes to book smarts and learning.

In fact, I am dealing with a situation like this right now where I am physically attracted to a girl who is a partier, but I know that there is no chance for me to date and like her. Social intelligence vs. book smarts and random trivial knowledge, not a good match. Interest wise, I find her less than enjoyable, because her interests are in partying, smoking, and drinking, just a bad match. It would be analogous to pairing Kim Kardashian with Bill Gates or Stephen Hawking on a date

When I suggested having the mind set of "They don't care what I think of them, so why should I care what they think of me?", I forgot to explain it further. The whole idea for me not caring about women romantically is because, as I said, they couldn't less about me. I'm not in their thoughts. However, let me do state that it is still possible to get a gf. My whole mindset is dedicated to the idea of NOT trying to pick up attractive women or trying to attract women. I see it as contrived and desperate, after all, guys are at the mercy of whether the girl says "yes" or "no".

However, there is one way around this. That is through becoming friends with a girl, not conveying romantic interests in the beginning, but establishing a sense of mutual trust and admiration. However, the clock ticks in that stage of friendship, and if you don't make your intentions known within a certain time period, time will pass you by and you'll get friend-zoned ("I don't think of you that way, I only like you as a friend" You remember that crap, right?)

My advice would be to start off creating friendships with girls that are casual and pleasent. Friendship is a much safer route than trying to ask out some gal. Friendships are more capable of producing romantic relationship then going at it alone, that's my two sense anyways.

So, in a sense, it isn't a total loss. It isn't like you're completely forsaking woman romantically, it is just that you won't be an average dog who slobbers over them like a piece of steak. If they recognize you for that, great! If not, their loss. But it is best to not be needy and craze women in my opinion, they certainly won't respect you if you do that.

Well, ideally, they should make themselves known as prostitutes first.......

going up with a wad of cash to some random women tend not to work too well in my experience.

"Anyone here afraid they will never get a girlfriend?"
Yes. I would love to get a girlfriend but I don't think it will ever happen. It is possible since I have seen people like me eventually getting into relationships but then theres all the other shy/akward/introvert/over-analyzing/crazy/geeks who never get lucky and fill the internet (including this forum) with their stories. The last time I had an actual female friend was kindergarden. The barely ever talk to girls (and I have a hard time keeping a conversation going for more than a min). I don't know how it would be possible for me to be in a relationship for years without boring the girl to death.
You just have to try and live with it (even if it sucks) and maybe one day your luck will change.

It isn't just the outgoing girls in a way. I enjoy dancing about as much as I enjoy washing the dishes; I have nothing against dancing and don't think there is anything wrong with it, I just don't enjoy it. Yet I've only ever known one girl who didn't like it, and that was more due to her insecurities than anything else, and it seems to be a prerequisite to get someone, it's not a preference girls are indifferent to. Of course, it's worse with the type of girls you mention, I bore them and they bore me.



Something stranger happened to me, of having a major crush on a girl on a totally incompatible girl, it wasn't her looks what really attracted me (she's nothing special in that, and isn't the type I usually find physically attractive), but a certain warmth in her personality, a certain easygoing friendliness. I never asked her out because, apart from like in your case, being totally and utterly incompatible, she's very much taken for the long haul.



What I meant in my response was different. I meant something along the lines that very few people care if I live or die, so there's no point in worrying what they think about me.



The thing is, getting a girl to say 'yes' is just part of the problem. For example, there was a girl I'd talked to once or twice. I found her attractive, she seemed pleasant and friendly, but also seemed way too extroverted to be compatible with me. I invited her to a couple of dinner parties to get to know her better, and I became certain that we were totally incompatible (even some NTs find her overwhelming). I never asked her out, and I told a friend who was trying to encourage me to do so that there was no point, as even if she said yes we were so incompatible that it would go downhill from the word go. He said maybe it was better to have had her for a little while than not having her at all, and I honestly replied I preferred not having her at all. If I'd asked her out and she'd said yes, it would have meant all the bad things about relationships (the drama, the faking, the breakup, etc) with little of the good things, and life's too short for that; there are worse things than being single. Later events proved I had been right about compatibility, in fact there's no question of even friendship between us.
I think I have to face that, as a friend told me, people just don't like me. Generally at best they find me boring, at worst I bring out in them some kind of instinctive hatred. In the case of girls, the very few that like me do so in a purely friendly way. I've had one case of a girl physically attracted to me, but who despises me as a person. But aside from that, if there's no compatibility, then what exactly is the point? Even the best-case scenario, them saying yes, isn't worthwhile if it's going to go to the dogs from the word go.