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Should I Be Upset?

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pumibel
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12 Mar 2010, 9:32 pm

This would bother me a lot! I have had it happen to me. It was a manipulation tactic to see if I would react. He may be hinting to try to get you to do some of their stuff in bed maybe. I wouldn't put up with that. It is disrespectful. Perhaps if you told him that you didn't want to hear any more about his ex-girlfriends he will stop. I would try that and if he didn't care how I felt I would probably leave him. i am not saying YOU should dump him, I am just saying what I would do.

EDIT- I missed a couple of posts- I am glad it was easy to fix!



Northeastern292
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12 Mar 2010, 10:07 pm

Willard wrote:
hartzofspace wrote:
My boyfriend of 4 months frequently brings up the names of his ex-girlfriends


Typically considered bad form, insensitive and self-involved. But he may actually not understand that it's off-putting. Everytime he does that, bring up an ex of your own - just chime in with whatever he's saying and one-up him "Really? Yeah, ________ used to _________" . For most people that would be enough of a hint. But then, someone who does this...

hartzofspace wrote:
as well as shares information about the way they acted in bed.


sounds pretty thick.

Generally considered loutish, crude and emotionally brain dead. Unless of course you asked. Different people have different interests.

I wouldn't be concerned about the photo thing in and of itself. It's just an historical artifact. If he starts building a shrine to the ex, or taking it out to look at during sex - then I'd take offense.


The only time that ex's should EVER be mentioned is when both partners talk about it at the same. And for it to be frequent is just wrong, if not nauseating.



hartzofspace
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12 Mar 2010, 11:59 pm

Thanks for the input! But keep in mind, that we are both Aspies. Maybe I was thick, not to realize it was bothering me. And, he may have been thick, to not realize that it might. Now that we have had a good talk, we are going on from here. I also realized, that it is hard not to mention names of ex girlfriends, when you are past middle age. We both have a long history behind us, and it is bound to happen sometimes. I just had to put a boundary on how often, and especially when they are mentioned.


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