HopeGrows
Veteran
Joined: 5 Nov 2009
Age: 50
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,565
Location: In exactly the right place at exactly the right time.
30 Mar 2010, 12:39 am
sinsboldly wrote:
HopeGrows wrote:
It's a sign of affection. It doesn't necessarily refer to romantic love or familial love, but it can describe the feelings of attachment and affection associated with friendship. IMO, it doesn't cheapen the word to use it often, any more than it cheapens hugs to hug often.
This comment about (not) cheapening hugs to hug often just astounds me. Waiting until Easter to eat candy for breakfast makes it special, waiting until Christmas to open presents makes it special. Eating ice cream andcake makes a birthday special.
I am trying to communicate to you, HopeGrows, that is is my opinion that of course it cheapens hugs to hug often! Of course it cheapens love to say it all the time.
This makes me think that maybe I don't get out of a hug what you do, and maybe I don't even get what you do out of being told I am 'loved', either. Humm . . .
Merle
Why would you expect to get the same thing out of being told you're loved or being hugged that I do? You clearly have a different perspective about it, but so what? You're entitled to your opinion.
sinsboldly
Veteran
Joined: 21 Nov 2006
Gender: Female
Posts: 13,488
Location: Bandon-by-the-Sea, Oregon
30 Mar 2010, 8:44 am
HopeGrows wrote:
sinsboldly wrote:
HopeGrows wrote:
It's a sign of affection. It doesn't necessarily refer to romantic love or familial love, but it can describe the feelings of attachment and affection associated with friendship. IMO, it doesn't cheapen the word to use it often, any more than it cheapens hugs to hug often.
This comment about (not) cheapening hugs to hug often just astounds me. Waiting until Easter to eat candy for breakfast makes it special, waiting until Christmas to open presents makes it special. Eating ice cream andcake makes a birthday special.
I am trying to communicate to you, HopeGrows, that is is my opinion that of course it cheapens hugs to hug often! Of course it cheapens love to say it all the time.
This makes me think that maybe I don't get out of a hug what you do, and maybe I don't even get what you do out of being told I am 'loved', either. Humm . . .
Merle
Why would you expect to get the same thing out of being told you're loved or being hugged that I do? You clearly have a different perspective about it, but so what? You're entitled to your opinion.
HopeGrows, you may be missing my point. It is not my opinion so much as it is one of my symptoms of Asperger's. Since you are making comments and suggestions to people that have symptoms of Asperger's it seems a bit disingenuous that you are unaware that your suggestions might not have universal application.
Why wouldn't I expect to get the same thing out of being told I am loved as everyone does? How would I know if I have a different perspective about it as you do? I have only known about my condition for a couple of years and have only recently become aware that I don't feel what other people feel in many areas of my life. In my therapy I have been told that this is a symptom of my condition. Dismissing my Asperger's Syndrome symptoms as my 'opinion' and my 'perspective' seems a bit unaware for someone that is dispensing advice on an Asperger's forum.
I have no problem with you acting as councilor in thread after thread. You have always seemed trustworthy and level headed in your suggestions and council, with a high degree of understanding about what people with Asperger's and other autistic conditions. Why would you think my Asperger's symptoms are merely my opinion?
I hope this is read as respectful, as I do not mean to provoke, just discuss.
Merle
HopeGrows
Veteran
Joined: 5 Nov 2009
Age: 50
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,565
Location: In exactly the right place at exactly the right time.
30 Mar 2010, 10:32 am
sinsboldly wrote:
HopeGrows wrote:
sinsboldly wrote:
HopeGrows wrote:
It's a sign of affection. It doesn't necessarily refer to romantic love or familial love, but it can describe the feelings of attachment and affection associated with friendship. IMO, it doesn't cheapen the word to use it often, any more than it cheapens hugs to hug often.
This comment about (not) cheapening hugs to hug often just astounds me. Waiting until Easter to eat candy for breakfast makes it special, waiting until Christmas to open presents makes it special. Eating ice cream andcake makes a birthday special.
I am trying to communicate to you, HopeGrows, that is is my opinion that of course it cheapens hugs to hug often! Of course it cheapens love to say it all the time.
This makes me think that maybe I don't get out of a hug what you do, and maybe I don't even get what you do out of being told I am 'loved', either. Humm . . .
Merle
Why would you expect to get the same thing out of being told you're loved or being hugged that I do? You clearly have a different perspective about it, but so what? You're entitled to your opinion.
HopeGrows, you may be missing my point. It is not my opinion so much as it is one of my symptoms of Asperger's. Since you are making comments and suggestions to people that have symptoms of Asperger's it seems a bit disingenuous that you are unaware that your suggestions might not have universal application.
Why wouldn't I expect to get the same thing out of being told I am loved as everyone does? How would I know if I have a different perspective about it as you do? I have only known about my condition for a couple of years and have only recently become aware that I don't feel what other people feel in many areas of my life. In my therapy I have been told that this is a symptom of my condition. Dismissing my Asperger's Syndrome symptoms as my 'opinion' and my 'perspective' seems a bit unaware for someone that is dispensing advice on an Asperger's forum.
I have no problem with you acting as councilor in thread after thread. You have always seemed trustworthy and level headed in your suggestions and council, with a high degree of understanding about what people with Asperger's and other autistic conditions. Why would you think my Asperger's symptoms are merely my opinion?
I hope this is read as respectful, as I do not mean to provoke, just discuss.
Merle
But obviously, you're generalizing your symptoms of AS to everyone with AS, which isn't necessarily accurate. I've read lots of posts by Aspies who really enjoy being hugged, and hugged often, who don't believe hugs are cheapened by their frequency or quantity (a few comments have even been included in this thread). My intent wasn't to dismiss you or your perspective - quite the opposite.
sinsboldly
Veteran
Joined: 21 Nov 2006
Gender: Female
Posts: 13,488
Location: Bandon-by-the-Sea, Oregon
30 Mar 2010, 11:54 pm
HopeGrows wrote:
sinsboldly wrote:
HopeGrows wrote:
sinsboldly wrote:
HopeGrows wrote:
It's a sign of affection. It doesn't necessarily refer to romantic love or familial love, but it can describe the feelings of attachment and affection associated with friendship. IMO, it doesn't cheapen the word to use it often, any more than it cheapens hugs to hug often.
This comment about (not) cheapening hugs to hug often just astounds me. Waiting until Easter to eat candy for breakfast makes it special, waiting until Christmas to open presents makes it special. Eating ice cream andcake makes a birthday special.
I am trying to communicate to you, HopeGrows, that is is my opinion that of course it cheapens hugs to hug often! Of course it cheapens love to say it all the time.
This makes me think that maybe I don't get out of a hug what you do, and maybe I don't even get what you do out of being told I am 'loved', either. Humm . . .
Merle
Why would you expect to get the same thing out of being told you're loved or being hugged that I do? You clearly have a different perspective about it, but so what? You're entitled to your opinion.
HopeGrows, you may be missing my point. It is not my opinion so much as it is one of my symptoms of Asperger's. Since you are making comments and suggestions to people that have symptoms of Asperger's it seems a bit disingenuous that you are unaware that your suggestions might not have universal application.
Why wouldn't I expect to get the same thing out of being told I am loved as everyone does? How would I know if I have a different perspective about it as you do? I have only known about my condition for a couple of years and have only recently become aware that I don't feel what other people feel in many areas of my life. In my therapy I have been told that this is a symptom of my condition. Dismissing my Asperger's Syndrome symptoms as my 'opinion' and my 'perspective' seems a bit unaware for someone that is dispensing advice on an Asperger's forum.
I have no problem with you acting as councilor in thread after thread. You have always seemed trustworthy and level headed in your suggestions and council, with a high degree of understanding about what people with Asperger's and other autistic conditions. Why would you think my Asperger's symptoms are merely my opinion?
I hope this is read as respectful, as I do not mean to provoke, just discuss.
Merle
But obviously, you're generalizing your symptoms of AS to everyone with AS, which isn't necessarily accurate. I've read lots of posts by Aspies who really enjoy being hugged, and hugged often, who don't believe hugs are cheapened by their frequency or quantity (a few comments have even been included in this thread). My intent wasn't to dismiss you or your perspective - quite the opposite.
I am not sure how 'obvious' it is, HopeGrows, as what may be obvious to you might not be as 'obvious' to me. I didn't mean to generalize my symptoms of AS as everyone with AS's symptoms, I am saying that special things all the time makes them less special to me. All 'hugs' were just a prelude to sexual molestation as a child and having been debauched at an early age all 'I love yous' were bait to a young woman starved for love. I have had to completely end any contact with people over the years as I have only bewilderment and hesitant incipient heartache when hugged or told I am loved.
So, no, I don't believe everyone has had my back story. And no, it is probably not all my AS, either. I was in my thirties when I got sober and first realized not everyone had lived a life like mine. and I was in my late fifties when I first learned of being AS. I know it is too late for me, my therapist tells me so and I have no reason not to believe her.
Sorry I crashed your thread, I guess I really have nothing to add to the discussion.
Merle
| Similar Topics | |
|---|---|
| Funny word combinations |
23 Dec 2024, 7:47 am |
| School b+ student |
15 Nov 2024, 9:32 am |
| Going Back to School |
28 Oct 2024, 3:56 pm |
| I pretty much failed school |
05 Dec 2024, 9:40 am |
