Do you prefer the woman to make a move?

Post Reply New Topic

I just looked at the results of this poll & I notice that rite now 75% say that the women should make the 1st move & 25% say that the guy should. I could be wrong about this but I think AS is 4x more common in guys than gals; I'm not quite sure of the ratio on this site or this poll but if the ratio of guys to gals is 4 to 1; these results could imply that the men want the women to make the 1st move & that the women want the men to make the move.
My rough analysis is that that both the men & women here want the other to make the 1st move

I'd just like it if i smiled , or said hi i'd get a response back... not a blank stare

Oh and please don't play mind games , i don't know if you're chatting me up or just being friendly

I don't think either should be expected to initiate purely because of gender, buy I voted that women should initiate. I'm certainly not going to initiate. I want to kill myself enough just thinking a girl is cute.

With my first girlfriend it was she who made the first move. On other occasions it was me. If it was up to me I would prefer them to make the first move in general as that would make things a lot easier, but that's just not the way things go. To avoid uncomfortable situations I usually try to wait until she's given enough signals for me to be confident to make a move. The problem is I often don't know how to read the signals...

Women give off signals, they're hard to read but with enough experience you can pick up on some.
As far as initiations, Men should take care of them, all the way.
You're scared of making an approach without the certainty that it will work out well?
That's part off the fun, imo. And, when your suspicions are right and she responds positively to your advance, it's a fantastic feeling.
You become aware of the romantic power that you are capable of exerting on someone.

It does take a few attempts to get to this point though. I'm still working on it.

I remember one time, being kind of stupid and telling her outright about my affection for her. Came on a little strong, in retrospect, and I got shut down. Never saw her again.
Our phone calls are done. Messaging, done.
A shame, too. We have a fantastic connection. Nothing makes me melt more than articulate and expressive ladies, and she was the benchmark.

Do I regret this? No!
I'm glad I had the experience. Two years later I still feel the same way.
It's made me a little stronger.
I still have a bit of residual sentimentality for her sometimes, but it won't kill me. There's enough other stuff going on to take care of. You should always have a few emotional scars to carry along through life; makes things more interesting.

I don't think thats just an asperger thing as much as it is a most guys thing. Who wouldn't want a woman to pay attention to them? But it doesn't tend to work like that so I tend not to expect them to make the first move, so yes I will usually attempt it.

That's how things are meant to be. Men are supposed to seduce women. You gentlemen have to prove you're a potential good partner as a husband and a father. I want a man to be protective, tender, full of leadership, creative, intelligent, soft, rich, compassionate, and a baby-lover. And my husband will be taller than me. For sure.

Why is it meant to be like that A few Centuries ago marriages wer arranged & before that Vikings just kidnapped women. Just because it's like this rite now does NOT mean that is is supposed to be this way

More often than not I find them too hard to spot. Another problem is that my flirting skills are very poor, making it hard for me to give her the right signals. As such, I usually end up having conversations that are just too emotionally neutral for her to get romantically interested in me.... even if both sides had a good time during that conversation.



That's just plain annoying. I understand this is part of what makes women attracted to men but that doesn't make it any less annoying.



For most men, it's scary as ****.



Only if you know what you're doing. I'm 28 and even after 5 relationships I still couldn't figure out how women want to be treated (which played a significant part in my exes breaking up with me). It's only during the last few months that I'm starting to get the hang of female psychology and it took me quite some extensive training by my best friend (who's a lesbian woman) as well as illegal empathogenic substances to get to that point.

And now that I do understand female psychology, I still find it very hard to actually apply what I learned. My last date has only been about a week ago and I still didn't manage to flirt even though I know she was interested and trying to give me signals as I actually talked about feelings with her on MSN last night.



I'm not convinced the vikings kidnapped women. That seems like a Christian stereotype of Vikings.

Nevertheless, I agree with your point. I often wonder if this whole irrational behavior of women might actually have been the reason arranged marriages existed in the first place. Hell, it may even be the reason women didn't have any socio-political power beyond their immediate family for most of human history. The female body is something very attractive but the female psyche more often than not annoys the **** out of me.

Knowing how to play the dating game does NOT show that you're a good partner, a good husband or a good father. IT does NOT show a man is protective, tender, full of leadership, creative, intelligent, soft, rich, compassionate, and a baby-lover. All it shows is his ability to get women into bed. More often than not, the best partners, the best husbands and best fathers totally suck at the whole dating game yet many women seem to be clueless about that.

And this whole thing about men being tall.... How shallow is that?!

Exactly.

I was talking about dating a man for months or years before marriying him. NO sex until the wedding night.

The man should prove he's going to be a good leader for his family. So he has to be the first to make a move.

I agree with you when you say some men are only looking for sex, and that's irrelevant.

Élodie

Why would anyone do that in this post-modern age? You're just torturing both of you and you will not be able to figure out whether you're sexually compatible before it is to late to do anything about it... In my country (Belgium) there is barely anyone who still postpones sex until marriage and that's a good thing.



Being able to make the first move does not imply leadership qualities or vice versa. Both are entirely unrelated.



The problem is that the type of men most women are most easily attracted to are precisely the kind of men only looking for sex and few women seem to have a clue, leaving both decent men and decent women frustrated.

I think its about twice as difficult for an aspie to initiate than someone who isnt an aspie. I've only ever asked a girl out once and that was when I was 100% sure we had a connection after we had been on a date and hadnt spent more than a day apart. Of course i got rejected at first but then we dated for almost a year. I learned a lot and im still worrysome about it. Personally I dont feel any gender has a duty to initiate. I think more women should though since in our culture its still expected men should do so.

I'm 21 and i've only been in 4 relationships. Only 1 of those of those were initiated by me. I still have trouble understanding all the subtle signals women give out. I wish things were more straightforward but i know thats never going to happen. Anyways thats my experiences.

Btw i totally agree with you Salonfilosoof.

Do you want him to come rescue you on his white stallion and take you to his castle in the gum-drop forest?

Okay I'm sorry , that was mean. But you will be lucky to find maybe three of the above all in one person. You are just setting yourself up for more disappointment and a hatred in men. That would just put all the pressure on me to fill those expectations.

I know many guys who are all of the above.