Advice for the guys under 30

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hmm... I am a muscular guy with a dangerous and well paying job and am probably an 8 or 8.5 in looks and yeah I'm still single. I find they often want the drug dealers/bar stars/uber popular former high school jocks. You see, these chicks can get any guy they want and it's gone straight to their heads...

I have had some luck with less attractive women though. Not ugly, but maybe a little overweight and just cute not really "hot." You are right though, girls lose their looks fast in their 30's, and when it happens their standards hit the floor. I'll be there. I actually just started dating a 34 year old chick, and I think it's because she has hit that stage.

That is VERY true. As soon as women start to lose their looks the standards drop quick.

I once felt like you did. You can set yourself free of the lies others have told you.

^^this. Remember it's not a race, we are all going to the same destination. It takes years to overcome yourself... Just keep working on your life and doing what makes you happy (happiness=confidence=success with women). Just be glad you are a man. You can be 50 and dating a 24 year old. Women lose all their bargaining power rather quickly. Men on the other hand, tend to look better as they get older, not to mention they gain wealth, life experience, confidence, good taste, etc. All these things will help you get girls. You've got it made buddy, you just don't know it yet

I don't envy the bird who is dating you tbh, you seem to think you're sh*t hot and just use people for sex.

Actually I think it's her that's using me.

If you haven't gotten a girl by the time you are 50, its too late and you are already too set in your single ways. And if you couldn't get a 24 year old girl when you were 20, you sure can't get one when you are 50. I for one do not look better now than when I was 20. Wrinkles, yucky skin, and missing hairline are not what I would call an improvement over what I looked like when I was 20.

But it is true that many girls decompose fast after they hit 30. I saw some of my female high school classmates on facebook and I had to go eeeeww. Most guys my age have gotten worse looking than they were when they were younger too, but the girls did tend to do it worse.

the inverse of the whole "you have better chances when you're older" is that most women get snapped up by the time they're 30, either because men that are better than you get to them first or they put themselves out there more as their biological clocks tick (or a combination of both). The fact is, there are fewer women available when you're older, leading to a smaller pool...

I was referring to leading people on in the past, you've made threads about it. Its not cool to be with someone and still be GF shopping.

While I agree that most women do seem to go through a metamorphosis in their late 20's, usually for the better, I don't think the internet dating community is quite as bleak as your figuring. If you are shooting invites to these girls - that's that. I think a lot of times if they're on a track that isn't working and they realize something usual came their way - they'll be up for trying something different, even counter-intuitive, if it might show them something.

What sucks though also though about dating sites, possible gender pettiness issues aside, is that there is and can be a big difference between who looks good on paper and who you'll actually like if you met IRL. I've been on Eharmony for quite a while, went on plenty of dates, and for whatever reason while it made sense online, in meeting them things just didn't usually work. I tend to think then again of my own traits, what I have to offer, and typically speaking I tend to go for women who seem to be on some level a reflection of myself - the trouble is I'm starting to doubt that its such a wise idea. In my lifetime I've met both plenty of geeky girls who were just too uptight and I never could have gotten much warmer with them than acquaintances if I'd met them IRL, and I've met bar girls IRL who a lot of guys here would think are too NT - true they were well rounded but they seemed to have the best geek traits that I liked at the same time whereas, if I had seen them online their profiles may have scared me off.

It really is a mess to figure out. The most important thing I think is to figure out what works and, so long as it isn't an unhealthy dynamic, accept it even if its not what you would have expected and don't try to force things to work that seem like they should but don't.

Toad,
Do you just like wallowing in self-pity ?

The great thing about being single and older Is that you will have more money on hand and less debt than the married guys do. Wives are money pits that only depreciate in value.

You will be able to purchase the best things that those cute 20 year old girls you pine for have to offer. You want them to tell you how much they missed you and are happy to see you, they will to keep a client. Sometimes good acting is all you need. "Love" is what you make it and ultimately just a set of experiences. Nothing more.

Last edited by RICKY5 on 04 Jul 2010, 10:44 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Of course it is. You give her validation that she is still beautiful despite her age.

I love you guys. Seriously. You guys aren't afraid to tell it like it is.

However, I'm a weirdo and find 30something, and some 40something, women very attractive. Something about a woman that age that has defied the odds...no excessive weight despite having kids...a mature, pretty face, with or without make-up, and a woman's curvy body...I'd take a lot of the 30/40something cuties on dating sites over 20somethings I see in real life.

I think we just don't give a f**k anymore. We saw enough BS to say "why should I care?"

I think everyone out there (at least who isn't having the world handed to them on a platter for their genes) is a bit jaded - rightfully so to an extent but that puts us in the spot then of looking out for our own emotional safety. Not much to be said aside from life's a little f'd up. I'd take it in faith that most people here who care about making things happen are putting the reasonable efforts in, whether or not that specifically makes the world reciprocate though is an open-ended issue.

What I don't get about guys like Toad, and I've told him as much, is that why would they want to basically give their lives over to the institution of marriage, especially at such a premature age? The whole spending the rest of your life with one woman (no matter how good she looks and even if she ages well)...having annoying kids...and also blowing all of your money on your wife and kids...what kind of life is that?

The one thing I can say about my Aspie life is that I'm free from the bullsh*t. I never have to worry about working (even if something happened to my parents, they have plenty enough money saved up for me and I live conservatively)...I don't have to deal with stupid people...I don't have anything that a woman could "take" from me and if she tried to trap me into having kids, she wouldn't get very far as I'm broke and incapable of raising a child. I'll never have to live the American Nightmare...i.e. Nagging wife, 2.418 kids, mortgage, bills.

I've learned to just sit back and enjoy life. Aspergers is a blessing in disguise.

Why Toad wants to give his power to a manipulative woman who will take him for all he's worth is beyond me.