I'm beginning to think I'll never have a Boyfriend

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LePetitPrince
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08 May 2006, 3:02 pm

I hear you , I have the same thoughts and I think that I would never have a gf . First I am not attractive and I am short(165 cm) and I look younger than my age (most ppl think that I am 18 while I am 24 and this a turn-off) .Besides I have strange interests too ....like PC specific stuffs, insects ,animals, comic books ....so girls think that I am immature and I am not interested in going gym and playing sports like most guys do .



ELLCIM
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08 May 2006, 4:36 pm

LePetitPrince wrote:
so girls think that I am immature and I am not interested in going gym and playing sports like most guys do .


Yeah, women have an obsession with guys that spend all their spare time working out, playing football, playing hockey, or wrestling.



newchum
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08 May 2006, 6:51 pm

Aspie_Chav wrote:
Cockneyrebel Sweetpraline So many lonely woman in their 30s talk about how casual dating was when they were younger. The situation for girl is very different from that of a man as they get older. And in most cases if they had a hard time in the teens and 20s then they are going to live a nightmare in the 30s and 40s.


I agree, society's views towards never married women, who have never dated much or heaven forbid you never dated or had sex who are older than say 30 is quite harsh, quite opposite for their male counterparts. Even single female professionals in their 30's and 40's are judged harshly, spinster is an insult in our society, and bachelor is praise.

There is a kind of view in society that any woman who desires a boyfriend can get one, that is not necessarly true.



sweetpraline
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10 May 2006, 1:38 am

newchum wrote:
Aspie_Chav wrote:
Cockneyrebel Sweetpraline So many lonely woman in their 30s talk about how casual dating was when they were younger. The situation for girl is very different from that of a man as they get older. And in most cases if they had a hard time in the teens and 20s then they are going to live a nightmare in the 30s and 40s.


I agree, society's views towards never married women, who have never dated much or heaven forbid you never dated or had sex who are older than say 30 is quite harsh, quite opposite for their male counterparts. Even single female professionals in their 30's and 40's are judged harshly, spinster is an insult in our society, and bachelor is praise.

There is a kind of view in society that any woman who desires a boyfriend can get one, that is not necessarly true.


I agree. I would not have even went to my senior prom if my mom had not made arrangements for the son of one of her friends to take me.

I think that I could walk buck naked into a mens' penitentiary and still not get any play. Even though a prison inmate is not my first choice for a boyfriend.



Aspie_Chav
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10 May 2006, 10:39 am

Sweetpraline
How old are you, and is there any chance of any photos. The way I see it is no matter how minging you are, the chances are you have not yet found the best look for yourself. The right makeup, the right clothes, the right diet, the right exercise. Looking good should be your scientific project and You should be prepared to do you homework.

For woman this is much easier to do becaue they are emotionally envolved with how they look, whole for male aspergers it is just a ju



Xuincherguixe
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11 May 2006, 5:59 am

CockneyRebel wrote:
I'm beginning to think that I'll never have a Boyfriend. Guys like their Women to be Long-Haired Babes with soft voices who dress Sexy. They like their Women to wear Make-up all the time. They like their Women to be interesting. I don't have much in those departments. I'm a Short-haired Tomboy with a Cockney Accent that carries for miles who doesn't like to look Sexy, and forget about the Make-up. I don't like tight clothing. I'm also not very interesting, because I don't have much of a Life. I also have very strange interests for a Woman. I'm sure that if I did have a Boyfriend, that he wouldn't be impressed, if he was to walk into my Bedroom and see my toy Routemasters, all lined up, let alone hear me going on about what a great Bus she was. I don't think that guys see me as an interesting person. :cry:


Interesting. I'm beginning to think that I might ever have a girlfriend (I'm feeling pretty cynical about it), long haired (go rebel me), and I have some strange interests for anyone. I'd like to think I was interesting despite not having a life, but this is questionable.

I'm kind of tempted to say that I'm the exact opposite of manly, but the jury is probably still out on that one. Probably the only reason I'm even questioning this is due to low self esteem and gender roles/expectations. I want to say that I'm a computer geek and proud of it, but it's not always how I feel.



As far as 'what guys want', like women, their is a lot of varity amongst us. Don't get me wrong, most of my gender is a bunch of idiots that aren't worth spending any real time with. It's probably a blessing in disguise if the twits are ignoring you. At best, men like that are only good for casual sex (err, not that I'm an expert on casual sex with men...). So don't bother with them unless you think they're hot and want to use them for their bodies (which I'm going to go out on a limb and assume you are not interested in)

I'd be lying if I said that the female twits like you describe wheren't attractive to me (much as I'm shamed to admit it). But by the same token, smart women I'm into more. I mean how can I have a conversation about lets say envriomentalism (damn straight I'm a tree hugger!) with someone who's most profound comment is "Trees are pretty! Tee Hee."

I also think that for me there is a much larger range of 'attractive' then for most guys (or at least a larger range then most men will admit they're attracted to). It is possible to be overweight and still be so.


As far as the Routemasters thing goes, I'm not exactly sure what they are, other then a 'Bus'. I'm rather a fan of things mechnical though so there's a good chance I would be interested. And sometimes it's just interesting to hear someone speak about something they're really into.


If you don't mind me asking, where abouts in BC are you? Maybe you live close by. (It'd be really freaky if we'd met before)



Bland
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11 May 2006, 6:30 pm

I don't care for all of this talk about "big booty" and guys are just like that and that's just the way things are. I'm not that attractive and I've had alot of dates and been married twice, but divorced only once. The men that liked me did so because they thought that I was unique and intriguing. I was usually the one who dumped them because they were so typical and boring. I don't really care too much about looks; in fact, I have been intensely attracted to some really freaky looking dudes but that was their appeal. Likewise, many "attractive" men don't look very interesting to me. I don't pretend to know how guys think but I would rather not have to put up a front with physical misrepresentations, but would rather find someone who takes the time to know and like me for who I am; a real misfit! (And, AspieChav, in spite of your advice to the contrary, you dated someone who didn't have "booty" disproving your own theory!)


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Seigneur
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11 May 2006, 10:54 pm

I'll probably never have a boyfriend either... at least I hope not... 8O

Half the world can't get boyfriends. That's an interesting thought, but ultimately just semantics. :?



Sanityisoverrated
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12 May 2006, 7:38 am

We're all whole people- not halves waiting for the other half to come along.
Just thought I'd remind everyone. >_>



TigerFire
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12 May 2006, 10:14 am

Don't worry you'll find someone as I'll find some one some how.


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ion
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12 May 2006, 1:39 pm

CockneyRebel wrote:
Guys like their Women to be Long-Haired Babes with soft voices who dress Sexy. They like their Women to wear Make-up all the time. They like their Women to be interesting.


I have naturally adopted a very utilitarian worldview, because useless fluff is only a distraction and annoyance to me.
Long hair, for example, is totally useless. It may or may not look good, but it has no use. I'd have no problem even with a bald girl.
Voice doesn't matter as much as content.
Clothes should be judged by what it does. Sexy clothes and high heels are useless unless you're a harlot, of course.
Make-up does have a function, though. So that your face doesn't shine during night operations. Other than that, useless.
It all depends on the definition of sexy, though.
Personally, I think women in uniform, for example, is about the sexiest thing there is.

When it comes to interesting GroovyDruid put it best. I prefer interested. I want someone to share life with. She can be as dumb as a coffin nail (hopefully not, though) as long as she's interested in learning and not just sitting in a corner, bored and trying to get by on looks.

CockneyRebel wrote:
that he wouldn't be impressed, if he was to walk into my Bedroom and see my toy Routemasters, all lined up, let alone hear me going on about what a great Bus she was. I don't think that guys see me as an interesting person. :cry:


Well, you caught my attention. I didn't even know what a routemaster was until I looked it up just now.
That seems like an interesting and unusual subject.


I sometimes have those moments where I would really like someone to be with, but mostly it just feels like something that "everyone else" wants to imprint in my brain, that I can't live alone for some reason, and that I need someone.
Sure, it'd be a nice bonus, but I don't feel that it's essential.

You're from Brittish Columbia?
Wow, seems like a lot of cool stuff comes from there.
If I were to move anywhere else in the world, It would probably be either China or B.C.



Bland
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13 May 2006, 4:16 pm

Loved your comments. That's very encouraging and proves there's hope in this world. :wink:


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sweetpraline
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16 May 2006, 1:14 am

Aspie_Chav wrote:
Sweetpraline
How old are you, and is there any chance of any photos. The way I see it is no matter how minging you are, the chances are you have not yet found the best look for yourself. The right makeup, the right clothes, the right diet, the right exercise. Looking good should be your scientific project and You should be prepared to do you homework.

For woman this is much easier to do becaue they are emotionally envolved with how they look, whole for male aspergers it is just a ju


I am 35. I don't post pictures for privacy reasons.

However, I do feel very sad at times because most women my age have been married for as much as 10 to 15 years and if not married, at least in a steady relationship. And here I am can't even get a guy to give me the time of day.



MagicMike
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16 May 2006, 8:59 pm

At times I wonder if I'll ever have a girlfriend, even among the types of girls I'd be compatible with.



phoenixjsu
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16 May 2006, 10:32 pm

1. I would like to point out that all the women I've dated (all NT) have neither had long hair, rarely worn makeup, nor ever wore skirts. Most were kinda unique personalities, a quality that made me comfortable given my condition.

2. Don't listen to these guys that are telling you to post pictures or anything like that. You don't really want to find anyone over the internet. In person is the way to go.

...

(long pause)

Uh yeah on second thought, you may also wanna take some advice with a grain of salt. You see, I've since discovered that those girls with the "unique personalities" were spawn from such winning situations as abusive alcoholic dads, really disfunctional families or other wonderful easter baskets like that and that the "unique qualities" I liked so much were symptoms of something far darker underneath.

And not to bust on girls from those situations, because I'm sure there are lots of them that are well adjusted and fine. Because I try to be so nice I attracted the ones that held in all the bitterness and anger because (not surprisingly) I was the only guy that would put up with their abrasive man eating personalities.

That's a funny thing about unbridaled rage - no matter how nice you are to the person, that uncontrollable temper that she turns on other people always eventually seems to find it's way to you like a laser guided bomb.

Take my last girlfriend. A perfect little ray of sunshine. I met her by chance on livejournal. It wasn't too long before she repeatedly asked to meet in person. And we did, and we proceeded to have one of the most amazing friendships over the next month or so. And then one day, one of us slipped up and we expressed our feelings for each other in our own disfunctional ways -- Me in my aspie "I don't know how to say this kinda way" and her in her "I like you... I'm going to hide you in my closet after I lay my eggs in you" kind of way. It was almost adorable...

Almost...

Oh how I lament at the red flags I saw along the way. The always talking angry about her Dad, who she hadn't spoken too in a long long time, as if he just said something to piss her off... The fact that she always wondered why her ex's just suddenly dropped her and never called back or the fact that she had some of them friended on livejournal and they didn't have her friended back... Or just that way of how when she would talk about certain people, you could almost hear the anger in the background, like the haunting sound of that extra wheel on the train, every once in a while scraping up against one of the rails...

The break up was light. We went back to being friends. I never focused any anger on her. But suddenly after a month, she started trying to pick fights with me on the phone. Things eventually degraded to us not talking anymore. Then she started saying horrible things about me in her journal. Then (I think the scariest thing) she started showing up outside my friend's place when I was in town -- once witnessed by another friend across the street staring at my car.

That kids, is why you don't meet someone online.

So needless to say, that's been a year and a half and I haven't dated since in spite of opportunities. To be honest, if it wasn't for the whole man-sex thing, I would be gay.

But like I said... "Grain of salt"... I might have had a rough experience or two.
:?



beentheredonethat
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17 May 2006, 1:18 am

A guy is going to walk into your bedroom (invited), and say "ohmygod, a routemaster!" Do you know what a righteous bus she was? And then what are you gonna do?

Hopefully, push him down on the bed, and well.....you know.