09 May 2006, 4:38 am
Hi, I joined this board because my husband is an aspie ( I am not). He has had a very difficult time with kissing, He finds it uncomfortable to kiss for more than a second or two. (Which was hurting my feelings a bit because I thought I did something wrong) As it turns out, his mouth is highly sensitive to touch and is easily overstimulated....This is how he explained it to me.
For a while his kissing was too forceful...I mean too much physical pressure on the mouth. it was not like that when we dated...but being married changes things over time for some reason. You dont "try" as hard to get everything "perfect"....
We are working on this and it is getting nicer for both of us. Slobbery kisses are not my favorite as NT..so don't think that AS has anything to do with that preference 
No one really likes a bunch of saliva on their mouth and lips yuk!
My favorite kisses from my aspie husband are soft kisses with relaxed lips, and a little bit of soft nibbling on the lower lip. (someone mentioned this earlier and it is very true!....just dont nibble too hard!) No big slobbery mess is needed to have a great kiss with someone. You also dont have to use tongue. Soft slightly parted lips are very nice....I have kind of had to teach my aspie hubby what I like...but this is the advantage of having a long term partner. You can work on it together.
Very soft kissing with a closed or slightly open mouth is very nice. Try that...and you can always ask your partner how they prefer to be kissed. They may appreciate your asking. The first time my husband ever kissed me (when we were dating) he asked first and I appreciated that.
Also (if you are an aspie guy dating a non aspie lady) you should to know that kissing is VERY important to most women. It makes us feel special and close to our partner. Kissing is also essential in foreplay...if you forget to do this you are going to get into in trouble with your NT GF / wife / partner ...believe me, I know and so does my hubby...lol! Alot of this may also be true for some aspie ladies/guys out there too (the emotional aspect of kissing - in various degrees) but I do not know because I only can speak from my point of view. I only wish at times that I could step into my husband's aspie mind to understand him better!
