Could guys really be avoiding me due to this?

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That makes sense. I'm just used to being wary of those in the psychology field. Eeeevil therapists. Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiisss.

Lol, that's cool. It is a hot topic for me. I looked at when our messages started, turns out it was only 2 days ago. We've been messaging each other almost non-stop so I guess we're really hitting it off. XD

Uh how many people out there have three kids by the time they are 26? I probably be having one by then and my mom had no kids at that age nor my dad or my two cousins. I have other cousins who didn't have kids either at that age. Couple of my aunts had two kids by the time they were 26 and one of my aunts was 26 when she had her first child. Lot of 26 year olds don't have three kids by that age.

That guy was just silly. I would have told him lot of people don't have three kids by the time they are that age and use examples of my cousins and aunts and my parents. Maybe he had three kids by the time he was 26 so he thinks everyone else should be able too by then or else they have something wrong with them and that's bull.

Kids are in the way of a couple living a live, travelling, careers, economics and TIME. I do not care how beautiful and smart a woman is who has kids, she is just not interesting to me - and most of my (male) friends agree.




What one man perceive as "baggage", is excitement for another man.

or maybe guys are avoiding you because you're a gross monster with a lot of tentacles and feed on brains.

[img][800:2386]http://www.deviantart.com/download/86331493/Cthulhu_Awakening_Front_Poster_by_johnfsebastian.jpg[/img]

I think another reason why people wouldn't want to date people who already have kids is because then they can get stuck in the drama of their partner trying to battle with having custody over his or her kids and their ex playing games in court with the judge and having their kids say things to the judge such as they don't want to be with their father or the mother trying to use her ex husbabd's condition againt him to get full custody over her kids. Not all parents go through that after getting separated or divorced but maybe the person had been through that drama already when they dated someone who already had kids so that person decides he or she would never date anyone again who already has kids from their previous marriage or relationship. I have been through that drama too with my ex. Luckily his ex didn't suck me into it because she left me alone and didn't do anything to me. Instead she continued giving my ex problems and playing games with the judge. I am sure sometimes ex's will suck you into it by calling you and telling you bad stuff about your partner which is their ex just so you dump him or her and bam he or she is even more unhappy.

Also the fact you have to support your partner and maybe give him money to help pay for their lawyer just to be considerate and not selfish. Or they feel guilty for staying out of it and not wanting to have nothing to do with it. So they decide they will never date anyone with kids again.

When I broke up with my first ex, I decided my next partner has to have his lisence and a job, not the one he just started. Why? Because in my first one my ex had no job and he got one and he hated it and all he did was he complained and not show up to work because he didn't feel like coming in so he call in sick. Also the fact he wouldn't get his license even though he had a car but he didn't want to get one because he said it be cheaper if I take him to places so there was me giving up my free time to take him to places and him wanting to do stuff NOW because he couldn't wait such as the time he wanted to buy some thread to fix a rip in his coat and he just didn't want to wait till my day of to take him to Wal Mart to get some black thread that would match his coat. So instead my dad had to take him there because he was stressing me out with "Can we go now?" like a little kid and not being able to wait. So because my dad had to head that way anyway he took him with. So yeah I decided my next partner has to have his lisence and a job because I didn't want to go through that again.

I am sure people can change their minds about their criterias they have for partners they want because when I met my husband he didn't have a car nor a license and he still had a job and my city has public transportation so it didn't matter if he didn't have a car or not. So I didn't turn him down for not having a license and a car. Now he wants to get his license so he have more freedom and the fact I wouldn't have to take him to pick up his medicine and I wouldn't have to go with him to grocery shop. It takes longer to get to places by bus and train but with car, it's much faster. It takes three hours to get to his family and two hours at night to get home but with car it's 40-45 minutes.
Just imagine leaving Ronan, Montana and heading to Spokane and at the same time my husband leaves to see his family and he is taking the bus and train, by the time you get to Spokane, my husband has finally made it to his sister's house.

I think the things people have listed in the quantanties you don't want in your partner thread may be based on experiance they have had with people or someone they were with in a relationship and they might change that part of their criteria after meeting you. Maybe someone will change their mind about dating people who have kids when they meet someone who has kids but they are all grown and have their own lives so that means there isn't going to be any child custody drama or they do have kids who aren't grown yet but they have part time custody and there is no fighting over who gets the kids and the kids are great and not bad and they are well behaved and raised well so why reject the partner for having them? Like I got rid of partner must have a car and his license.

I'm 28 and doing a phd... no kids and nothing wrong (except perhaps for the reason i'm on this site!!)

But being from KY... I can certainly identify with all my peers from school who stayed in KY... all have kids and are married to their highschool sweetheart or other townies.

I wouldn't let it bother me. In fact, I would question the guy's education or usual dating approach. It could just be the locality... Like the deal from my home town. I find it unsettling though when a guy asks me what's wrong cause I don't have kids... Makes me wonder about their standards or thoughts on women in general.

Best of luck to ya.

Sooo... Blue bean, where do you live? You sound interesting to me

Across the ocean in Australia, sorry

i think he was actually hitting on you @@

But what you said is basically what he was probably getting at. Alot of people that age have like 3 kids and no one taking care of them. I guess.

There he goes again.

He doesn't know about my other two relationships and how they went yet

As some other user mentioned before I think he is flirting with you.

If you want to give him a chance just try to answer his questions nicely until he asks to meet you or you could be the one that asks.
If you want him to stop you could just tell him about your previous or about as, I have done that kind of stuff multiple times and it works efficiently.

Yeah, he seems to lack a little creativity in his flirting - or maybe he's the type who actively seeks out flaws in women.

Blue_bean, I think it's time you told him you have a tail.

This all reminds me of this scene from Chuck:

Sarah Walker: That's funny.
Chuck: Well, I'm a funny guy.
Sarah: Clearly! Which is good, because I am not funny.
Chuck: Is that your big secret, by the way? 'Cause I've been sitting here trying to figure out what's wrong with you...
Sarah: Oh, plenty... believe me.
Chuck: I was thinking "either she's a cannibal, or she's really not that funny," and I was pulling for cannibal 'cause I'd never met one before...
Sarah: Uh, not a cannibal, but I did just come out of a long relationship, so I may come with baggage.
Chuck: Well, I could be your very own baggage handler.
[awkward silence]

Certainly doesn't resemble flirting to me. More like a deliberate effort to make me unsure of myself with a hint of flirtation, to get me to open up and tell him what's wrong. If he's so focused on finding the negatives, what's he gonna be like when he does find them?

My reason? I want a relationship to start with one person...not two, three, four...etc...plus kids will likely take priority (not that there's anything wrong with that, but another thing I don't want to deal with).


lmfao I love that show...