So beautiful it makes me hurt
The OP needs counseling. Beautiful women sh*t like everyone else. And he's also one of those "I'm a self-admitted dorky ugly guy that wants a woman out of my league" type guys. Say what you want about people like Toad, but Toad just wants any girlfriend that likes him.
Actually, re-thinking this, it isn't all the OPs fault. He sees hollywood movies, and believes "Beautiful girl can make dorky guy happy and will love dorky guy even though he doesn't love himself." Also, when he's asked women out, they've likely let him down easy, and say "You're a great guy, but I have a boyfriend" instead of telling him what they really think about him and what they're going to tell their friends about him. He has beautiful women on a pedestal. He has to realize that he's never going to get a beautiful woman unless he lands a 6 figure job.
Actually, re-thinking this, it isn't all the OPs fault. He sees hollywood movies, and believes "Beautiful girl can make dorky guy happy and will love dorky guy even though he doesn't love himself." Also, when he's asked women out, they've likely let him down easy, and say "You're a great guy, but I have a boyfriend" instead of telling him what they really think about him and what they're going to tell their friends about him. He has beautiful women on a pedestal. He has to realize that he's never going to get a beautiful woman unless he lands a 6 figure job.
For his sake, I really hope he is one of those asexual aspie types...
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