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Why is the world so sex-centric?

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emlion
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07 Sep 2010, 1:25 pm

Erisad wrote:
I don't know. It surprises people when they find out that that I don't masturbate, dislike porn, and am not in a hurry to be rid of my virginity. Most people think it's weird that I haven't had sex yet at age 21. Some of my friends would tell me that sex isn't what it's cracked up to be and that I'm not missing that much. :/


You don't masturbate at all? So you've never had an orgasm?

Sex may not be all the media/other people portray it as, but with with right person it is a lot of fun. :P



Erisad
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07 Sep 2010, 1:30 pm

emlion wrote:
Erisad wrote:
I don't know. It surprises people when they find out that that I don't masturbate, dislike porn, and am not in a hurry to be rid of my virginity. Most people think it's weird that I haven't had sex yet at age 21. Some of my friends would tell me that sex isn't what it's cracked up to be and that I'm not missing that much. :/


You don't masturbate at all? So you've never had an orgasm?

Sex may not be all the media/other people portray it as, but with with right person it is a lot of fun. :P


Nope. Tried it once and got bored. That's probably because I didn't know what I was doing but I don't really feel inclined to learn. College courses are a bit more important at the moment. I did have one when my ex fingered me but I couldn't feel it when I orgasmed. He had to tell me when it happened. Even so, I still couldn't tell when the climax happened. I felt sick to my stomach afterwards, I didn't puke but my stomach hurt. So yeah, another reason why I am not in a hurry to do any of that. :/

Exactly. Since I'm single, there's no point in me contemplating sex. I'm not going to do it outside of a relationship at this point and I won't let anyone convince me otherwise. I've seen too many friendships fall apart because he slept with her while dating this other chick who was banging his brother and it's a huge mess I'd like to avoid. D:



lotusblossom
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07 Sep 2010, 1:34 pm

Erisad wrote:
I don't know. It surprises people when they find out that that I don't masturbate, dislike porn, and am not in a hurry to be rid of my virginity. Most people think it's weird that I haven't had sex yet at age 21. Some of my friends would tell me that sex isn't what it's cracked up to be and that I'm not missing that much. :/

I dont like and dont agree with porn.

Peoples sexual experiences vary greatly and it depends who you are haveing it with. I did not enjoy sex when I was younger and only found how wonderful it was when I met my boyfriend 18 months ago, before him i had not liked sex with another person so much (though I had a high sex drive I preferred masturbation not sex). I did not know what love was then and had not experienced such intense feelings with someone. There is nothing better than connecting through sex with the person you love, nothing closer or more loving or beautiful- feeling your body merge with theirs and your souls touch, looking in their eyes deeply and feeling such love for each other, I have not experienced anything better than that.



emlion
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07 Sep 2010, 1:36 pm

Erisad wrote:
emlion wrote:
Erisad wrote:
I don't know. It surprises people when they find out that that I don't masturbate, dislike porn, and am not in a hurry to be rid of my virginity. Most people think it's weird that I haven't had sex yet at age 21. Some of my friends would tell me that sex isn't what it's cracked up to be and that I'm not missing that much. :/


You don't masturbate at all? So you've never had an orgasm?

Sex may not be all the media/other people portray it as, but with with right person it is a lot of fun. :P


Nope. Tried it once and got bored. That's probably because I didn't know what I was doing but I don't really feel inclined to learn. College courses are a bit more important at the moment. I did have one when my ex fingered me but I couldn't feel it when I orgasmed. He had to tell me when it happened. Even so, I still couldn't tell when the climax happened. I felt sick to my stomach afterwards, I didn't puke but my stomach hurt. So yeah, another reason why I am not in a hurry to do any of that. :/

Exactly. Since I'm single, there's no point in me contemplating sex. I'm not going to do it outside of a relationship at this point and I won't let anyone convince me otherwise. I've seen too many friendships fall apart because he slept with her while dating this other chick who was banging his brother and it's a huge mess I'd like to avoid. D:


Yeah sex with someone who you don't completely love is a waste of time, imo. I have done it with some guy who i 'liked' but didn't love and it was fine, but with my current boyfriend who I couldn't love more- it's explosive.
Sex outside a relationship is bad, i agree.



Erisad
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07 Sep 2010, 1:48 pm

emlion wrote:
Erisad wrote:
emlion wrote:
Erisad wrote:
I don't know. It surprises people when they find out that that I don't masturbate, dislike porn, and am not in a hurry to be rid of my virginity. Most people think it's weird that I haven't had sex yet at age 21. Some of my friends would tell me that sex isn't what it's cracked up to be and that I'm not missing that much. :/


You don't masturbate at all? So you've never had an orgasm?

Sex may not be all the media/other people portray it as, but with with right person it is a lot of fun. :P


Nope. Tried it once and got bored. That's probably because I didn't know what I was doing but I don't really feel inclined to learn. College courses are a bit more important at the moment. I did have one when my ex fingered me but I couldn't feel it when I orgasmed. He had to tell me when it happened. Even so, I still couldn't tell when the climax happened. I felt sick to my stomach afterwards, I didn't puke but my stomach hurt. So yeah, another reason why I am not in a hurry to do any of that. :/

Exactly. Since I'm single, there's no point in me contemplating sex. I'm not going to do it outside of a relationship at this point and I won't let anyone convince me otherwise. I've seen too many friendships fall apart because he slept with her while dating this other chick who was banging his brother and it's a huge mess I'd like to avoid. D:


Yeah sex with someone who you don't completely love is a waste of time, imo. I have done it with some guy who i 'liked' but didn't love and it was fine, but with my current boyfriend who I couldn't love more- it's explosive.
Sex outside a relationship is bad, i agree.


*holds up flame shield* I forgot to do that after my last few posts. I usually have to whenever I post in the L&D forum. Of course, someone is going to come along here and say, "WHAT? SEX ARE THE GREATEST THING EVAR AND YOUR STUPID FOR NOT LIKING IT!!" and give me no end to the grief by spouting off stupid s**t about how women must comply to sex whenever the man offers, whether she likes him or not. :roll:

lotusblossom - I have a very low sex drive when I'm single. The only time I really feel anything down there is when I'm with someone. It makes singledom much easier to bear. I'd like to think I know what love is but I've never really experienced it where the feeling was mutual so I couldn't tell if it was love or not. :/



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07 Sep 2010, 1:56 pm

lotusblossom wrote:
Peoples sexual experiences vary greatly and it depends who you are haveing it with. I did not enjoy sex when I was younger and only found how wonderful it was when I met my boyfriend 18 months ago, before him i had not liked sex with another person so much (though I had a high sex drive I preferred masturbation not sex). I did not know what love was then and had not experienced such intense feelings with someone. There is nothing better than connecting through sex with the person you love, nothing closer or more loving or beautiful- feeling your body merge with theirs and your souls touch, looking in their eyes deeply and feeling such love for each other, I have not experienced anything better than that.


Thank you for your lovely words lotusblossom. I also as i said did not like sexual acts when i was younger and found them a chore that i had to do to feel more like a normal person who fit in. I had not found someone i felt happy/accpeted with till we met. it is an amazing experience to be with a person who loves you.



JohnisBlind
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11 Sep 2010, 12:18 am

The world is obsessed about talking about how it isn't obsessed with sex like everybody else is.



Lonermutant
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11 Sep 2010, 2:00 am

It's all about having kids. Dating is just practice for having kids. Having sex is just practice for having kids.



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11 Sep 2010, 9:53 pm

lotusblossom wrote:
ToadOfSteel wrote:
It's not just the media though. People in every day life look down on me just because i don't ascribe to that lifestyle...

maybe they think you are criticising them? Lots of people prefer to hang out with people with similar political or religious views as they are more confortable being in agreement with their friends than having opposing views, maybe it makes people with a strong sex drive uncomfortable listening to you saying how you dont like sex. Perhaps you would find comfort in a asexual forum/support group?
The problem is, i'm not completely asexual either. The desire is there, it just takes a back seat compared to finding someone i can connect with on an emotionally deep level. I want to be able to trust someone with my very soul, and i can't do that if there are wolves around every corner just waiting for me to lower my defenses. I can't even be myself around anybody anymore, not my family, not my therapist, not anybody... but a genuine soul mate, I could.



CrinklyCrustacean
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11 Sep 2010, 10:18 pm

Erisad wrote:
It surprises people when they find out that that I don't masturbate, dislike porn, and am not in a hurry to be rid of my virginity.


Same here. I've never even looked at porn, and that, for a guy, is a rarity these days.



Erisad
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11 Sep 2010, 10:20 pm

CrinklyCrustacean wrote:
Erisad wrote:
It surprises people when they find out that that I don't masturbate, dislike porn, and am not in a hurry to be rid of my virginity.


Same here. I've never even looked at porn, and that, for a guy, is a rarity these days.


Yeah. I'm a girl, so it's a little more forgivable but I still get criticisms from peoples about that. "Whaaaaaat? SEX ARE TEH GREATEST THING EVAAR & UR STUPID 4 NOT LIEKING IT." Granted, I may have exaggerated the comment a bit but that is the overall reaction I get from most sexually active peoples. D:



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12 Sep 2010, 12:10 am

ToadOfSteel wrote:
^ But then why is the world (at least the western world, anyway) so caught up about sex? It's gotten to the point where "sleeping with" someone is the most common euphemism for having sex with them. I've wanted to sleep with a woman for a while -- in the literal sense. I just want to end the constant stream of loneliness and know that there's someone that loves me... but I don't necessarily want to have sex. If it happens, it happens, but if it doesn't, I don't feel like I'd be missing anything. Yet I can't say that I would want to "sleep with" someone because that would be interpreted as "I'm a crazy sex-addicted creep that can't be trusted"...


It's an illusion perpetuated by the media. It's also a huge misconception of those from the middle east that the average American is so sex obsessed. One of the number one things I hear from those who have moved here from the middle east is how they didn't expect America to be so family oriented.

"sleeping with" someone has been used to denote "having sex with" for centuries. Previously "laying with" was more common.



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12 Sep 2010, 12:50 am

Erisad wrote:
I did have one [orgasm] when my ex fingered me but I couldn't feel it when I orgasmed. He had to tell me when it happened. Even so, I still couldn't tell when the climax happened.


He had to tell you when it happened?

If you didn't feel it, it didn't happen, no matter what he says... How the hell would he know anyway? :lol:

Erisad wrote:
College courses are a bit more important at the moment.


I'm glad you're worrying more about what your priorities are, and not what everyone else's priorities are. :)



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12 Sep 2010, 9:22 am

Ambrose_Rotten wrote:
Erisad wrote:
I did have one [orgasm] when my ex fingered me but I couldn't feel it when I orgasmed. He had to tell me when it happened. Even so, I still couldn't tell when the climax happened.


He had to tell you when it happened?

If you didn't feel it, it didn't happen, no matter what he says... How the hell would he know anyway? :lol:

Erisad wrote:
College courses are a bit more important at the moment.


I'm glad you're worrying more about what your priorities are, and not what everyone else's priorities are. :)


I guess he figured since stuff came out that he was done. Trying not to make this for the Adult Section. >.>

Yeeah, more concerned about graduating than getting laid right now. Graduating = job + money + better life. I know I just oversimplified it but I don't care. :D