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Do you feel sympathetic for somebody who can not have sex?

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Do you feel sympathetic for somebody who can not have sex?
Yes - and I am a man 51%  51%  [ 23 ]
No - and I am a man 11%  11%  [ 5 ]
Yes - and I am a woman 16%  16%  [ 7 ]
No - and I am a woman 22%  22%  [ 10 ]
Total votes : 45

billsmithglendale
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14 Sep 2010, 3:57 pm

Yes, I would feel very sorry for them. Having sex is one of the peak experiences of my life -- almost nothing can compare to it (though I've heard holding your child for the first time is a big one).

Involuntary celibacy is a BIG DEAL -- it's not something trivial. People who write it off like that or shrug it away are clearly asexual or very low on the sex drive scale. Asking them to opine on it is like asking a blind person to describe a sunset -- they just don't know.

I remember all of my sexual encounters with different people, and these are memories I hold dearly. Nothing is better or more special than that first time you have sex with someone new.



JohnisBlind
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14 Sep 2010, 4:06 pm

billsmithglendale wrote:
Yes, I would feel very sorry for them. Having sex is one of the peak experiences of my life -- almost nothing can compare to it (though I've heard holding your child for the first time is a big one).

Involuntary celibacy is a BIG DEAL -- it's not something trivial. People who write it off like that or shrug it away are clearly asexual or very low on the sex drive scale. Asking them to opine on it is like asking a blind person to describe a sunset -- they just don't know.

I remember all of my sexual encounters with different people, and these are memories I hold dearly. Nothing is better or more special than that first time you have sex with someone new.


Hi, billsmithglendale, my common sense tells me that how you feel is exactly how all people should feel.

I've asked this question to get an objective perception of how and why people are for or against caring about a person who can't have sex. So I don't want to get into a conversation about why your right and everyone else is wrong, but I am tempted too.

I have found that most people don't agree with you.... has that been your experience?



MONKEY
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14 Sep 2010, 4:07 pm

OP, you are sex on the brain.
Did you know that


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JohnisBlind
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14 Sep 2010, 4:09 pm

MONKEY wrote:
OP, you are sex on the brain.
Did you know that


I'm not sure what that means...
It's not going on any where else. that's for sure. lol.



MONKEY
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14 Sep 2010, 4:11 pm

JohnisBlind wrote:
MONKEY wrote:
OP, you are sex on the brain.
Did you know that


I'm not sure what that means...
It's not going on any where else. that's for sure. lol.


I mean like, you talk about it a lot.
And lol same here *feels sorry for self*


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JohnisBlind
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14 Sep 2010, 4:59 pm

billsmithglendale wrote:
Yes, I would feel very sorry for them. Having sex is one of the peak experiences of my life -- almost nothing can compare to it (though I've heard holding your child for the first time is a big one).

Involuntary celibacy is a BIG DEAL -- it's not something trivial. People who write it off like that or shrug it away are clearly asexual or very low on the sex drive scale. Asking them to opine on it is like asking a blind person to describe a sunset -- they just don't know.

I remember all of my sexual encounters with different people, and these are memories I hold dearly. Nothing is better or more special than that first time you have sex with someone new.


Also I notice in the poll results that women are statistically less likely to be sympathetic toward a person who can not have sex. If your theory is that those who write it off have less of a sex drive (enjoy it less?) is true, do you think that women enjoy sex less?



Kilroy
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14 Sep 2010, 5:03 pm

I don't feel sorry at all



JohnisBlind
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14 Sep 2010, 5:13 pm

Kilroy wrote:
I don't feel sorry at all


Okay, why? The why part is the is the most important part of my question.



Janissy
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14 Sep 2010, 5:26 pm

I used to before all these threads. But the endless, endless threads have just killed whatever sympathy I might initially have had. It's so dead now I can't even remember what it felt like to feel that sympathy. But it was killed by these threads.



DemonAbyss10
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14 Sep 2010, 5:57 pm

Bethie wrote:
DemonAbyss10 wrote:
I actually chose to be asexual because of my belief that there are too many people.


May I ask you politely to please not refer to yourself as asexual? Asexuality is not a choice, it is a lack of sexual attraction to either gender. I and others who were born asexual constantly have to battle misconceptions, and it would help if our sexual allies used correct terminology. I think "celibate" would be more appropriate here.


Like I really much care right now regardless...


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mysassyself
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14 Sep 2010, 7:43 pm

I do feel sympathy toward people who cannot have sex. I would liken this feeling to sympathy for someone who cannot find friends.

If I were being a bit more flippant, I may even say I would liken it to sympathy for people who cannot have the video game they want.

My ultimate view depends on whether sex is a need or a want. I think it can be both. It's not like hunger, we don't die without it. But, like someone unable to have friends, the lack of it can cause some genuine pain.
If I were to not be able to have friends (which I don't really) I would just learn to accept it as best I can and cope in life without it. With regard to friends, I have friends, but not close friends. And, one day I might. I focus on other things.

I don't think menintights is a troll. I think menintights was being comparatively flippant, and the OP is comparatively very caught up in the issue of whether people can have sex or not (I can understand someone saying the OP has 'sex on the brain'; it's almost the same condition as someone who has a lot of sex, and cannot get enough, and has sex on the brain).
Such differences can inhibit understanding and communication.

The ability to take or leave sex, regardless of actual sexual ability, does exist, though it may require work or practice. I say this having demonstrated it in my life ~ I'm sure I could be having oodles of it if I wanted to and it's not that I don't like it; I'd just rather be doing simpler things.


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14 Sep 2010, 8:56 pm

not really any sympathy. i've gone without sex before and i've dealt with it... it's not life-threatening to be without sex.

oh, and for all of you who want to assume that it has something to do with not having much sex drive... i love sex, and i have f*cked more than 7 times in a single night (lost count after 7), so that is definitely not a factor involved.


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elderwanda
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14 Sep 2010, 9:01 pm

Janissy wrote:
I used to before all these threads. But the endless, endless threads have just killed whatever sympathy I might initially have had. It's so dead now I can't even remember what it felt like to feel that sympathy. But it was killed by these threads.


:lmao: :lmao: :lmao:



Erisad
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14 Sep 2010, 9:08 pm

Even though I don't have sex by choice, I feel bad for those who can't when they want to. Now I don't feel sympathetic for those who bash women/men because they can't get any sex. :/



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15 Sep 2010, 2:20 am

I got to thinking about a dating site for nut jobs.

Instead of I like:

walks on beaches, candlelit dinners, dancing etc etc

you could say:

I have AS, am fat and live at home with my parents

and feel okay about being truthful INSTEAD OF THE BS MOST OTHER DATING SITES ASCRIBE TO :roll:



JohnisBlind
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15 Sep 2010, 3:05 am

Janissy wrote:
I used to before all these threads. But the endless, endless threads have just killed whatever sympathy I might initially have had. It's so dead now I can't even remember what it felt like to feel that sympathy. But it was killed by these threads.


Okay, that is an interesting reason. You were once sympathetic but these threads proved to you that you shouldn't ever feel sympathy? What threads, my threads?