How to date a friend of mine whom I want to be my GF

Post Reply New Topic

I haven't asked her out yet, Lene, I was wondering if the signs I see am I interpreting them accurately and is it worth asking her out.

Ah, ok. Sorry Mojave.

I don't think you're missing any signals here (unless she's sending out more that you simply haven't picked up on). All of the above actions sound like things you'd do with a friend, male or female.

One way to tell (if she's a nice person) would be if there was any difference between how she acted when she had a boyfriend and when she became single; a sudden increase in interest would suggest she's interested whereas if things continued as per usual then it is more likely she has always seen you as mainly a friend.

To find that out though, you do need to know if she currently has a boyfriend. I'd just ask if I were you; if she says yes, she says yes (I'm glad you're not planning on stealing someone else's gf- I hate people who do stuff like that) and if she says no but changes subject very rapidly, then I'd also take it as a 'not interested sign'. If she says no and then asks you your status you may be in more luck.

Ask her after class after you've had a chance to talk a bit. You could say something like, "Last week you asked me if I had a girlfriend and I said no. It kind of caught me off gaurd a bit and I should have asked if you have a boyfriend. Do you have one?" If she says yes ask her how long they have known each other but DO NOT act all disappointed. If she says no then ask her to have coffee, tea, lunch. Something that does not seem like a real date just yet. Stay cool, calm and collected and above all remain confident.

It is not a big deal. At least not for me, and not for most other people. I'd rather find out quickly whether she's interested or not. It isn't a big deal if she tells me 'no' 5 minutes into meeting her for the first time. How can that possibly be hurtful? Just move on.

You know what does hurt? Getting into a relationship with a wrong person, for all the wrong reasons, and seeing the relationship crumble and implode after you've become emotionally vested. That fricken sucks. That hurts bad. That's why we should talk to a lot of people, and date lots of people, until we find the one we can get along with.

this is totally genius advice, in my opinion

And if cofee, tea, lunch goes well ask her if she would like to do something on the weekend, movie, campus event, etc. and just build on it from there.

I've gone through this... My relationship with my ex has been on-again off-again for quite some time, and i keep working in earnest to build it up just to see it crumble before my eyes rather spontaneously... and yet even that is not as painful as a rejection. At least my ex gave me a chance (multiple chances actually)... a rejection is judging me before getting to know me.

That's because your ex is a flaky and not worth it. Your better than that.

Last edited by Mojave on 23 Sep 2010, 10:49 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Toad, It all comes down to learning how to handle rejection. It's not easy but in the dating game you are going to strike out far more times than you get a yes. It is a numbers game.

So today's the day I am going to ask her out. Wish me luck.

GOOD LUCK!! !

I hope everything goes well!! !! !! !! !! !! Don't panic! ^^

So I chickened out and didn't ask her out after all. I sat beside her all through class, but when we walked out it was dark and raining and not the ideal time to ask someone out on a date, plus I am not feeling in the right mood either.

Don't wait too long because the window of opportunity is closing fast. Just follow the advice you have been given and you will be fine. If she says no DO NOT get all bent out of shape. Look at it as a learning experience and the next opportunity will be easier.

QFT. don't delay! time really is of the essence. an attractive single girl won't stay that way for long... (single, i mean)

Well, I won't have class with her now until next Monday. But I do have her on MSN. I could ask her out over MSN chat, or at least inquire if she's single. Is that something i should do on msn or in person, though?