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hyperlexian
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27 Sep 2010, 8:13 pm

MizLiz wrote:
Oh and as for the height disadvantage for the 4'11" ladies...

the balls are right there.
i did sputter, MizLiz! is it terribly wrong that i used to say, "short girls don't have to kneel?" :oops:


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hale_bopp
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27 Sep 2010, 8:50 pm

countzarroff wrote:
The only person calling you fat/big/a hippo is yourself.

This is all just typical gender role garbage.


Actually thats the whole point. I don't care what OTHER people think in terms of the height difference. Its a feeling which comes from inside myself.

I'm not calling myself a hippo or fat. But I feel ridiculously huge (not as in fat, as in HUGE) next to short men and in turn, it turns me off. From a womans perspective it reminds me of like looking after a kid or something, I don't know why.



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27 Sep 2010, 8:57 pm

hyperlexian wrote:
MizLiz wrote:
Oh and as for the height disadvantage for the 4'11" ladies...

the balls are right there.
i did sputter, MizLiz! is it terribly wrong that i used to say, "short girls don't have to kneel?" :oops:

:D :D :D :D

hale_bopp wrote:
countzarroff wrote:
The only person calling you fat/big/a hippo is yourself.

This is all just typical gender role garbage.


Actually thats the whole point. I don't care what OTHER people think in terms of the height difference. Its a feeling which comes from inside myself.

I'm not calling myself a hippo or fat. But I feel ridiculously huge (not as in fat, as in HUGE) next to short men and in turn, it turns me off. From a womans perspective it reminds me of like looking after a kid or something, I don't know why.

Maybe you feel like you're dating your little brother?


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hale_bopp
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27 Sep 2010, 9:02 pm

MizLiz wrote:
Maybe you feel like you're dating your little brother?


There is a motherly/urge to protect there. Thats pretty much why I can't date men shorter/smaller than me. It feels like all kinds of wrong.

Its probably the reason a lot of short guys are cocky. The cockier they are the less of that little brother/child instinct comes out in me, and possibly many women.



hyperlexian
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27 Sep 2010, 9:13 pm

hale_bopp wrote:
MizLiz wrote:
Maybe you feel like you're dating your little brother?


There is a motherly/urge to protect there. Thats pretty much why I can't date men shorter/smaller than me. It feels like all kinds of wrong.

Its probably the reason a lot of short guys are cocky. The cockier they are the less of that little brother/child instinct comes out in me, and possibly many women.

i guess i don't have too much of that feeling about short men because the men in my family were all short. so i know that a short man can be a protector or a caregiver just like a tall man. they can also be all of the bad things that tall men can be... to me, there is no difference, maybe because i was surrounded by men of smaller stature? they didn't seem like children or little brothers to me.

i've heard of the 'short man's complex' or whatever, but i think that short and tall men are equally likely to be kindly... or jerkish. i also think tall men are equally likely to be as cocky as short men, but society is maybe more forgiving of that attitude in tall men.


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hale_bopp
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27 Sep 2010, 9:19 pm

hyperlexian wrote:

i guess i don't have too much of that feeling about short men because the men in my family were all short. so i know that a short man can be a protector or a caregiver just like a tall man. they can also be all of the bad things that tall men can be... to me, there is no difference, maybe because i was surrounded by men of smaller stature? they didn't seem like children or little brothers to me.


Maybe. For pretty much all of my life the only man in it was my Dad, and he is 6 foot 1 and massive.



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27 Sep 2010, 9:26 pm

I'm not really sure, but most of the guys I've been into have tended to be almost exactly the same height as me, or very slightly shorter. I don't think it would matter too much, but I think dating someone substantially shorter OR taller could be a little uncomfortable due to eyeline and things like that. It's nice to be able to look at someone directly. That being said, height is a very minor factor and matters very little to me in the overall scheme of things - I'm sure I could adjust to any height. I'm 5'7.


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countzarroff
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27 Sep 2010, 10:05 pm

Merle wrote:
countzarroff wrote:
why do you think anybody gives a dink if you are taller than your boyfriend? The only person calling you fat/big/a hippo is yourself. I myself am 5"11, but I really wouldn't care if my girlfriend was taller than me.

This is all just typical gender role garbage.


You're being ignorant.

"Why do you think..." People DO look at couples (e.g. interracial where the only difference is melanin, a TV show documenting two married dwarves and their children) and gauge. You will get looks and you will get questions if there is much of a height difference, ESPECIALLY if the girl is taller than the guy.
"The only person calling you..." Depending on the size of the girl (or even guy), you will get called names (either overtly or behind your back).
"I really wouldn't care..." Because it doesn't apply to YOU, doesn't mean it doesn't apply to THEM.

"This is all just typical gender role garbage" No, it's just ignorance thinking the world is a happy place and no one cares about height differences (ponder why someone even started this thread) and no one cares about how other people look (look at the other threads). People do care (warranted or unwarranted) and it does have an impact upon our psyches. If you're obese and try to fit into a swimsuit at the beach full of 20 somethings you will get stared at. You will get called names (e.g. "What does that whale think she is doing here?"). Get out, see the world and how cruel it is.

Honestly, I really can't believe you posted and believe that stuff. This is not a "Lifetime Movie"


First of all personally attacking me doesn't make you right. So if you're not gonna be chill about talking with me, don't bother to read the rest of this. I will just pretend to agree with you so we don't get into a flame war, if not, hear me out.

Second of all, Yes you are right, some idiots with no self esteem for themselves will judge other couples. Are you saying that the people around you should have more credibility in determining your relationship than how you connect with your spouse. If you're friends make fun of you for dating someone outside of the height norm, you're friends are the problem, not you. And it is gender role garbage because its placing an absolute rule on how tall a man is supposed to be in comparison to their spouse.

Third of all, a cruel world doesn't justify ones own cruel actions. If everyone else was punching a baby and threatened to make fun of you if you didn't go with the flow, would you do it?

Look I'm not saying people have to stop liking tall men and short women, people are going to do what they want, regardless of what I think. But I really think its just a ridiculous thing to care about in a relationship when there is so many more valuble traits in people to be admired.



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27 Sep 2010, 10:09 pm

hale_bopp wrote:
countzarroff wrote:
The only person calling you fat/big/a hippo is yourself.

This is all just typical gender role garbage.


Actually thats the whole point. I don't care what OTHER people think in terms of the height difference. Its a feeling which comes from inside myself.

I'm not calling myself a hippo or fat. But I feel ridiculously huge (not as in fat, as in HUGE) next to short men and in turn, it turns me off. From a womans perspective it reminds me of like looking after a kid or something, I don't know why.


So then would you say a 5"3 man with a doctorate is more childlike than a 6"0 high school dropout living off of welfare. Who is honestly going to be more like looking after a kid?



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27 Sep 2010, 10:22 pm

I'm a guy who is 6 feet 2 inches tall. My girlfriend is exactly six feet tall. My sister is 5 feet nine inches tall. That makes it harder for her to find guys.



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27 Sep 2010, 11:34 pm

countzarroff wrote:
hale_bopp wrote:
countzarroff wrote:
The only person calling you fat/big/a hippo is yourself.

This is all just typical gender role garbage.


Actually thats the whole point. I don't care what OTHER people think in terms of the height difference. Its a feeling which comes from inside myself.

I'm not calling myself a hippo or fat. But I feel ridiculously huge (not as in fat, as in HUGE) next to short men and in turn, it turns me off. From a womans perspective it reminds me of like looking after a kid or something, I don't know why.


So then would you say a 5"3 man with a doctorate is more childlike than a 6"0 high school dropout living off of welfare. Who is honestly going to be more like looking after a kid?


I'm not going to argue with you. I did not post my thoughts and feelings in here to defend them with a baseball bat. The fact of the matter is I would never date a high school dropout living off welfare anyway, so the argument is pointless. Its a primative brain thing. I don't go around with a measuring tape.

What are you trying to do? Make me say "well, I was wrong, from now on i'm going to start being attracted to men shorter than me". Because no stupid internet argument will do that.



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28 Sep 2010, 7:13 am

We are attracted to whatever we are attracted to. If a tall woman doesn't like a shorter man, that's completely up to her. Saying that's wrong is like saying it's wrong for a guy not to like fat girls. He just doesn't like them, that's just how it is. You can't change people's preferences for the opposite (or same, for that matter) sex.


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28 Sep 2010, 9:07 am

nekowafer wrote:
We are attracted to whatever we are attracted to. If a tall woman doesn't like a shorter man, that's completely up to her. Saying that's wrong is like saying it's wrong for a guy not to like fat girls. He just doesn't like them, that's just how it is. You can't change people's preferences for the opposite (or same, for that matter) sex.

how about i annoy you with my theory... i have a theory that we CAN change what we are attracted to. it constantly changes on its own anyways, i.e. i don't like the same specific things in males that i went for when i was 15 years old, nor what i found attractive at 25. it's not like we are born preferring a certain type, or that type would remain static throughout our lives.

in my theory (based only on observation, not facts) think we can change our own preferences with a little openmindedness and experience.


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28 Sep 2010, 9:49 am

hyperlexian wrote:
how about i annoy you with my theory... i have a theory that we CAN change what we are attracted to. it constantly changes on its own anyways, i.e. i don't like the same specific things in males that i went for when i was 15 years old, nor what i found attractive at 25. it's not like we are born preferring a certain type, or that type would remain static throughout our lives.

in my theory (based only on observation, not facts) think we can change our own preferences with a little openmindedness and experience.


People can change their own preferences, but you can't make other people change theirs. They do change over time, and I will always applaud anyone who is open-minded. But I think it doesn't happen, on purpose, often. And we certainly can't tell anyone else to be open-minded and honestly expect them to do it. I always like someone just a little more when they say something along the lines of "I like this aspect, but I'm open to other possibilities."


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28 Sep 2010, 9:53 am

hyperlexian wrote:
i've heard of the 'short man's complex' or whatever, but i think that short and tall men are equally likely to be kindly... or jerkish. i also think tall men are equally likely to be as cocky as short men, but society is maybe more forgiving of that attitude in tall men.

It has the air of empty speculation and prejudice. If a tall guy is aggressive, he's intimidating. If a short guy is aggressive, it's the Napoleon Complex.



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28 Sep 2010, 10:34 am

Hector wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
i've heard of the 'short man's complex' or whatever, but i think that short and tall men are equally likely to be kindly... or jerkish. i also think tall men are equally likely to be as cocky as short men, but society is maybe more forgiving of that attitude in tall men.

It has the air of empty speculation and prejudice. If a tall guy is aggressive, he's intimidating. If a short guy is aggressive, it's the Napoleon Complex.


Here's the thing though -- society is much more tolerant of aggressive behavior out of a short guy. Sure, they'll snicker a little bit, but most people see it as someone pushing beyond the bounds and limitations imposed by society and life on that guy because of his height.

Contrast this with aggressive behavior out of a tall guy -- he comes off looking like Biff from Back to the Future. His height accentuates the aggressiveness, and turns what was sort of spunky and funny in a short guy into something threatening to everyone, even if the guy's intentions were not to come off that way, and even if in fact he is a gentle giant.

This is why so many tall people are so shy -- they get beat down by society and life, picked on by short guys (who are pretty much angry at anyone tall from puberty on) and get an inordinate amount of bad attention.