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Anyone here NEVER had a relationship?

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Stadacey
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31 Oct 2010, 9:00 am

Never, never ever been on a date.

A few months ago I would have been fine with it, but it would be nice to go on a date, or 'be' with somebody.



Dnex
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31 Oct 2010, 4:29 pm

17 and not close yet, I'm not even sure I would know what to do in a relationship anyways.



matt
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31 Oct 2010, 5:34 pm

I haven't.

But I haven't tried, either. I was in my mid-20s when I first noticed that I'd never made any attempt to be in one. Actually noticed that I'd never even held a girl's hand before.

It seems like being in a relationship might be better hypothetically than it would be in reality. People in relationships behave differently and seem to do a lot of stupid things. They lie a lot, they argue, they do things they don't really like doing and they insist that the other person not do things the other person likes doing.

I don't think I would ever be in a relationship unless it was with someone who thought very much like I do. And not someone who just told me that she did. I don't know whether that will happen, but I'm not going to try to form a relationship with someone who would make me unhappy or whom I would probably make unhappy. It seems wrong to manipulate people.



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31 Oct 2010, 6:45 pm

matt wrote:
It seems like being in a relationship might be better hypothetically than it would be in reality. People in relationships behave differently and seem to do a lot of stupid things. They lie a lot, they argue, they do things they don't really like doing and they insist that the other person not do things the other person likes doing.


While this may be true of many or even most relationships, none of them necessarily have to be so. I certainly haven't found any of this to be true in my own experiences.


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01 Nov 2010, 2:39 pm

Never been in a proper relationship. Never made it to first base either.


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Craig28
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01 Nov 2010, 2:50 pm

Modern woman has made it too hard for guys. There is too much mind games messing about going on. Most of it directed to the guys by the gals.



Adam82
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05 Nov 2010, 3:11 am

biostructure wrote:
Adam82 wrote:
bonuspoints wrote:
You are not the only one. I am 28 and have never been close to having a relationship.

The idea of dating has never appealed to me. Don't get me wrong, I would love nothing more than to be in a loving, committed relationship, but I am uninterested in the trial and error world of dating. I want simply to find "the one" and know it instantly and be finally happy. I know this is an impossible scenario (I hope I am wrong) and yet I can't/won't try for anything different.

I read your blog entry, we seem to share many interests. I hope you don't have to wait much longer before sharing your life with someone.


Hey there

I am in the same position. I'd love a relationship, a commited one. I am totally uninterested in the world of trial and error dating, too. I want to skip all that rubbish, and find 'the one' straight away. The odds are astronomically against us in this day and age, people don't seem to be willing to work at anything anymore, even a relationship. It's sad.

I hope you don't have to wait too much longer either.


You actually may have it easier, in that you will be able to meet someone who has been through the experimental stage of dating as is looking to settle down with someone.

I am exactly opposite for you--I have no use for a committed relationship, and often question whether I even want a relationship at all. For me it is ALL about the experimentation, about feeling the emotional ups and downs and the excitement of first being intimate with another person. I don't actually want another person who competes a lot for space in my life with other things, or really even companionship, as much as just the ability to experience the feelings of mutual attraction, that I have been deprived of all my life--or at least since high school, when I last had women in real life who were interested in me, though I didn't jump on the opportunity and still sometimes wonder what I was thinking.

One of my pet peeves has always been people who think those like me, who missed out on dating in high school and undergraduate college, actually have it better because they avoided those relationships that "don't really mean anything in the long run" or similar crap. I'm not ready for the long run, stupid!


Yeah. One problem i'm finding is that girls my own age, in their late twenties, all seem to be paired off already! In LTRs or married. :cry: And the younger 21 year olds now seem too immature and shallow to me.

Late 20s is when women start getting serious and wanting to settle down. Problem is that I'm so far behind them relationships wise (no experience at all), how can I possibly hope to catch up to their level and expectations? :cry: :cry:



nostromo
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05 Nov 2010, 4:09 am

Adam82 wrote:
biostructure wrote:
Adam82 wrote:
bonuspoints wrote:
You are not the only one. I am 28 and have never been close to having a relationship.

The idea of dating has never appealed to me. Don't get me wrong, I would love nothing more than to be in a loving, committed relationship, but I am uninterested in the trial and error world of dating. I want simply to find "the one" and know it instantly and be finally happy. I know this is an impossible scenario (I hope I am wrong) and yet I can't/won't try for anything different.

I read your blog entry, we seem to share many interests. I hope you don't have to wait much longer before sharing your life with someone.


Hey there

I am in the same position. I'd love a relationship, a commited one. I am totally uninterested in the world of trial and error dating, too. I want to skip all that rubbish, and find 'the one' straight away. The odds are astronomically against us in this day and age, people don't seem to be willing to work at anything anymore, even a relationship. It's sad.

I hope you don't have to wait too much longer either.


You actually may have it easier, in that you will be able to meet someone who has been through the experimental stage of dating as is looking to settle down with someone.

I am exactly opposite for you--I have no use for a committed relationship, and often question whether I even want a relationship at all. For me it is ALL about the experimentation, about feeling the emotional ups and downs and the excitement of first being intimate with another person. I don't actually want another person who competes a lot for space in my life with other things, or really even companionship, as much as just the ability to experience the feelings of mutual attraction, that I have been deprived of all my life--or at least since high school, when I last had women in real life who were interested in me, though I didn't jump on the opportunity and still sometimes wonder what I was thinking.

One of my pet peeves has always been people who think those like me, who missed out on dating in high school and undergraduate college, actually have it better because they avoided those relationships that "don't really mean anything in the long run" or similar crap. I'm not ready for the long run, stupid!


Yeah. One problem i'm finding is that girls my own age, in their late twenties, all seem to be paired off already! In LTRs or married. :cry: And the younger 21 year olds now seem too immature and shallow to me.

Late 20s is when women start getting serious and wanting to settle down. Problem is that I'm so far behind them relationships wise (no experience at all), how can I possibly hope to catch up to their level and expectations? :cry: :cry:

They can't all be paired off? Also not all 21 yr olds will be immature and shallow at all. Don't shoot yourself down before you start



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05 Nov 2010, 1:42 pm

never had one either but I am trying to change that-even those of us on the spectrum like our alone time-lonliness is not desirable for the rest of our lives either


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05 Nov 2010, 6:54 pm

Me too, never had a relationship and I really doubt I will at this point. All I've experienced is drunken make-outs.

I used to "go out" with a boy when I was 14 but really we were just friends. We never even held hands.

I'd love to know how it feels to wanna give up your alone time for someone else. Honestly that would have to be one hell of a person.



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05 Nov 2010, 8:37 pm

Jono wrote:
Adam82 wrote:
I seem to be the only guy on the planet, even among Aspies, that has never had a girlfriend, ever. No kisses, nothing. I post on the LoveShy forums sometimes, but I find they're a bit too bitter and unsupportive over there.

I must be the only 28 y.o on the planet who has no experience with girls. I have female friends, but never anything more than this.


I'm 30 and I've never been in a relationship. I've never even been on a date.


Same never have relationship,kiss and date at nearly 22 years old. ZERO opportunity...Friend side i don't have friend to spocialize frequently...sometime i ask myself if it's not me the problem....Now im a misogynic man by women fault and xenophobic caused by heavy mistreatment by stranger(other race or my own race) even my family have made me suffer by moment. My self esteem suffer



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08 Nov 2010, 5:21 pm

I'm 24 years old and I have never had a girlfriend ever. I still haven't lost my virginity. A tiny part of me wonders if I want a relationship. If I was in one then many things might change. The only thing I really do in my life is watch media based products e.g. tv and movies. I feel more connected to all the fictional characters in my favourite shows and movies than I do to real life people. But it would be nice to have a girlfriend, someone to care about me, not that I'm not loved by my family of course and someone I can possibley care for. As I said before I feel more connected to the fiction universe but I do care about the people in my family, even if I can never really express my feelings, even in my head and I can get a bit embarressed about certain things.



ksuther09
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08 Nov 2010, 8:54 pm

I've never had a relationship either. Luckily I have a group of good friends - both guys and girls & I think that's better. Just friends to help out and that I can serve & do stuff with & no guy-girl drama that I probably couldn't handle anyway :)



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08 Nov 2010, 10:32 pm

Adam82 wrote:
biostructure wrote:
Adam82 wrote:
bonuspoints wrote:
You are not the only one. I am 28 and have never been close to having a relationship.

The idea of dating has never appealed to me. Don't get me wrong, I would love nothing more than to be in a loving, committed relationship, but I am uninterested in the trial and error world of dating. I want simply to find "the one" and know it instantly and be finally happy. I know this is an impossible scenario (I hope I am wrong) and yet I can't/won't try for anything different.

I read your blog entry, we seem to share many interests. I hope you don't have to wait much longer before sharing your life with someone.


Hey there

I am in the same position. I'd love a relationship, a commited one. I am totally uninterested in the world of trial and error dating, too. I want to skip all that rubbish, and find 'the one' straight away. The odds are astronomically against us in this day and age, people don't seem to be willing to work at anything anymore, even a relationship. It's sad.

I hope you don't have to wait too much longer either.


You actually may have it easier, in that you will be able to meet someone who has been through the experimental stage of dating as is looking to settle down with someone.

I am exactly opposite for you--I have no use for a committed relationship, and often question whether I even want a relationship at all. For me it is ALL about the experimentation, about feeling the emotional ups and downs and the excitement of first being intimate with another person. I don't actually want another person who competes a lot for space in my life with other things, or really even companionship, as much as just the ability to experience the feelings of mutual attraction, that I have been deprived of all my life--or at least since high school, when I last had women in real life who were interested in me, though I didn't jump on the opportunity and still sometimes wonder what I was thinking.

One of my pet peeves has always been people who think those like me, who missed out on dating in high school and undergraduate college, actually have it better because they avoided those relationships that "don't really mean anything in the long run" or similar crap. I'm not ready for the long run, stupid!


Yeah. One problem i'm finding is that girls my own age, in their late twenties, all seem to be paired off already! In LTRs or married. :cry: And the younger 21 year olds now seem too immature and shallow to me.

Late 20s is when women start getting serious and wanting to settle down. Problem is that I'm so far behind them relationships wise (no experience at all), how can I possibly hope to catch up to their level and expectations? :cry: :cry:


Trade 23 hours of mind games and endless working my tail off so she doesn't get bored in exchange for one hour of sex?

I'll pass.



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08 Nov 2010, 10:41 pm

J-P wrote:
Jono wrote:
Adam82 wrote:
I seem to be the only guy on the planet, even among Aspies, that has never had a girlfriend, ever. No kisses, nothing. I post on the LoveShy forums sometimes, but I find they're a bit too bitter and unsupportive over there.

I must be the only 28 y.o on the planet who has no experience with girls. I have female friends, but never anything more than this.


I'm 30 and I've never been in a relationship. I've never even been on a date.


Same never have relationship,kiss and date at nearly 22 years old. ZERO opportunity...Friend side i don't have friend to spocialize frequently...sometime i ask myself if it's not me the problem....Now im a misogynic man by women fault and xenophobic caused by heavy mistreatment by stranger(other race or my own race) even my family have made me suffer by moment. My self esteem suffer


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Quincy27
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09 Nov 2010, 7:52 pm

I am in the same boat. I'm 27 and have never had a relationship, dated or any of that. I'm not shy, in fact quite the opposite, but in my experiences, girls have always treated me like I was a creep or just a weirdo in general and back away. I'm sure I send out the wrong signals.