Thinking about giving up on finding a girlfriend.

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I think most Aspie males LOVE hostility, self-pity and misogyny. Personallty, I'm just working on being the best person I can be. When I move out of my parent's place then I'll start taking the next few steps. I'll be successful, /me thinks.

I think it's fear more than anything else. I know that I for one tend to reject any suggestion that entails "get out there" because the thought of rejection is just so paralyzing, especially as I've been so brutally hurt before in such a manner. Telling me to go to a bar or a club is just an even more unthinkable idea...

nthach - great attitude (the parents comment wasn't aimed at young people who are still studying or taking other steps toward independence). Many people, both men and women spent a lot of time here offering constructive, solid advice mostly to no avail and some of us gave up sharing the good parts of our lives due to venomous reactions - it just wears you out.

ToadOfSteel - I have no problem with you - you're still very young, study and try to do something for yourself, don't blame everybody else for your problems and don't think the whole world should bend over backwards to accommodate you. Your attitude seems defeatist at times, but it's your right to reject suggestions and at least you're civil about it.

And I stand by what I said - most of the outbursts and accusations flying here are caused by hate, envy and self-entitlement and they do nothing but feed a vicious circle.

I wasn't really concerned about you there though... dilbert decided I was pathetic...

Yes it does - FYI I'm still in school. But I plan on moving as soon as two of these contingencies are satisfied:
1) Find a job
2) save up and have a small "rainy day" fund
3) pay off that naggling credit card debt

After that, I can confidently say I'll enter the world of dating. But if love happens to drop by I'll just enjoy the ride.

yeah, i know what you mean. i tend to overshare EVERYTHING and it bites me in the ass. sometimes i think it could be a support to other people to know we share experiences. but then it involves disclosing something personal about myself, and i end up regretting it 15 threads later when the information is used to mock or discredit me.

i have seen this happen to lots of other people too. maybe we are not anonymous enough, or maybe some aspies tend to be too open and trusting.

it never really occurred to me that people could resent me for the choices and life and works that i made and accomplished for myself.

You don't need to go to a bar or club. You need to find something social that works - even if you don't get a girl's number nor if they're aren't that many women there it's still good socialization that you can apply towards an relationship.

Take a look and see how often you find stuff like - "I see happy couples and I hate/resent them". "X has everything that I deserve" and similar. I cannon count the occasions when people like glider and others tried to share a positive experience/outlook and ended up accused of not having AS, showing off and even lying - some were attacked viciously enough to just leave the place for good.

To OP: you are who you are at this point in your life. If you feel that having close female friendships is problematic, opposite sex friendships are something that, quite honestly, a lot of people can't do. Its not particularly abnormal. If its a thought pattern that you think you can avoid, if these types of friendships do offer you something you need - then work on it, otherwise if its too inherent - there may not be anything you can do aside from admitting to yourself that either your chemistry toward women is too combustible, women are too combustible toward you, it could easily be both. In the later case understand that its not your fault, not theirs, and go on with life accordingly.

Also, with dating, know yourself. Someone made the point a while back that you are likely looking for someone who can fit in your life and that, if that's not available, you shouldn't be taking a pry-bar to your joints and breaking yourself up to fit in a neat little box that's been predefined by society - ie. you should just go on with your life, engage in the things that you feel that you need to do for yourself in order to be happy, and if the right girl comes along its a bonus, if you end up single and do little more than keep the wrong people out - you still succeeded in dodging quite a nasty bullet.

What does break my heart is this sense a lot of people have that if they end up single that they somehow failed or are failures, they didn't stand tall enough, they didn't try hard enough; IMO that whole line is mostly imaginary, it fails to take inherent differences into account (as well as just how hard-line society is), and it mostly comes from people who still haven't pushed themselves to the breaking point in order to come to an understanding of that.

that's true - i think i remember that happening to Willard. i'm kind of dumb about understanding how other people would view the things i say. on WP there seems to be more than just the male/female divide. there is maybe also a single/LTR divide, and a virgin/successful player divide. hard to cross it without offending.

I hope I didn't come across as sarcastic - I really think you have a great attitude and wish you the best.

Thanks! I don't get sarcasm the first time as well, thanks for clarifying things for me!