overshadowed by another man

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nah....don't flatter yourself that much.

I clashed with you before because you were being an as*hole.

But , you won back then eventually, you had more bunch of guys and girls supporting your classification of me.

Aw, well, maybe I was an as*hole, but I had strong opinions on the matter -- I still don't agree with you.

But, I did want to point out that it's not like you're in my fan club or anything, or that you back me up normally on these topics. So if we agree on something, it's not because of some great relationship we have or anything

That is the sad truth. In life there are winners and losers and the OP is not going to come out of this a winner by pursuing a girl who prefers someone else. The only option is to break-even by cutting himself loose from the girl and just getting on with life.

I'm really starting to think that the majority of ASD guys on here simply *choose* to be pathetic..

That makes no sense whatsoever.

Take, for instance, a situation where there's a single girl who likes two guys, and the two guys both like the girl. Following your logic, both guys would come to the conclusion that they'd best move on because she's not "theirs."

Now, what good did THAT do anybody?

The same could be said in the case of two girls in competition for the same guy. There's no difference.

The fact of the matter is that single people in search of a mate *are* in competition with one another, whether they like it or not. To suggest that they stop competing because nobody is "theirs" is clearly a recipe for a 100% rate of failure when it comes to "getting" someone.



Since my post falls into the "everything else" category, I'd be interested to know what you found to be 'misogynistic' about it. Can you elaborate on that?

And as billsmithglendale implied, some people on here - read you - choose to be idiots. Oh wait, sorry, you obviously didn't get to choose.

The OP obviously has a fairly longstanding, friendly relationship with the woman he's interested in, and he plainly stated that they'd each gotten "mixed signals" from one another. That almost certainly means she's at least considered the idea of becoming romantically involved with the OP.

This other guy, on the other hand, has only recently come into the picture, and she's only recently begun to give more attention to him than to the OP. For all we know, the only reason she didn't immediately begin ignoring the OP and focusing *all* her attention on the new guy is because she's been waiting...hoping...that the OP is going to make a move. For all we know, she could be terribly disappointed that the OP hasn't shown more interest thus far.....this other guy could very well have been her *2nd choice* and she may drop him like a hot rock if the OP makes a move.

The point is that we don't know, and the only way the OP is going to find out is if he *tries.*

Now, if that somehow indicates to you that his "only option" is to completely give up on the idea of winning this girl's heart without ever even **trying** -- if that's what YOU would do -- then yeah, you're choosing to be pathetic.

All I can say is...best of luck to you in your search for a woman who finds it attractive for man to let his own insecurity and fear of failure drive him to give up before he even tries to win her heart. Personally, I haven't met many women who find cowardice to be an attractive quality.

If you're on top of a woman and you find that you are overshadowed by another man, then it is really time to scram especially if he's undressed.

good sir. you have won.

in any case. Aspierob obviously isnt understanding everything. Its already gone off while i was away. Its only proving my point bill is an ass, and his kid will grow up with some issues in their life.

Boo, your objectivity intrests me. in theory, yes. I guess you are right. But that is a phermone issue isnt it *regarding the article that is*

cm, you're a nice person. just let them argue it up here. We all got our issues. I got mine, you yours, bill his, and boo their own.

this also isnt about competing. Its about seeing who she likes right?

yes, agreed, absolutely. she may think the OP is just not interested and moved on because of that. maybe she is even sad she hasn't gotten anywhere with the OP. since the chance may have passed anyways, i can see absolutely no harm in open communication and trying for something more at this point.

ummm, disagree. some women may like amoral a$$holes, but not most women. the majority like our men to be loyal, moralist and nice.

sometimes, a person feels like they have no other choice expect to accept the cheating horrible behaviour of their spouse. just because they will accept it or overlook it does not mean they like it.

yes, the OP is young. but he has a good chance to find love and affection by being a decent person, just like some people find it by being a$$holes. not every a$$hole finds love - in fact there are many a$$holes here on WP that are still struggling, so the OP is definitely correct in doing the polar opposite of their advice if it does not jive with hi ethics. he can be just as successful, and not be a jerk while getting there (or after he achieves it).

some a$$holes are successful too, but that doesn't mean that it is somehow necessary to be a piece of crap in order to achieve success. there is more than one road to love, and the OP is obviously aware that decency is the better path, for more reasons than sex or love.

ummm....no, I wasn't using arguing about Jerk vs nice guy theories.

In fact I was saying the same , that being loyal isn't an add-value to attraction. Some jerks are attractive, others are not while some loyal men are attractive but other loyal men are not.

But too much idealism would be a turn-off for most women, I believe.

ok. been a while guys.

so lets get some stuff straight. @hyper, thanks for the kind words I appreciate them.

@bill. You asked me how it went for me. Actually It went extremely well....She keeps calling me cute now, and sends me text messages with hearts at the end of them. Shes been hanging around me more, and has me escort her around.
I think its going really well. Sure, we arent in an immediate relationship, but its going slow. So i guess it wasnt nearly as bad as you thought it would be. you are still a dick

@ boo. you are still funny as balls i see

yay! glad to read things are still moving forward!

as balls of ice cream , you mean

of course.

and @ hyper. Yeah. its nice.

Now, with the lesson I learened from my past relationship. think it will work.