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How come women know when you're hitting on them???

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ZakFiend
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24 Nov 2010, 6:06 pm

CaptainTrips222 wrote:
I don't think I'm that obvious, but the second I go from natural conversation to the kind you create because you're interested, they seem to pick up on it. It's uncanny how they do that. Not every time, but almost every time they seem to kinda know. It's weird.


Because women are constantly hit on from the time they are teens, remember men are usually the ones that have to come up to the women. Women just have to wait. Thats why.

A woman by the time she is 24 has been hit on thousands of times, this is how she knows!



hyperlexian
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24 Nov 2010, 6:21 pm

ZakFiend wrote:
CaptainTrips222 wrote:
I don't think I'm that obvious, but the second I go from natural conversation to the kind you create because you're interested, they seem to pick up on it. It's uncanny how they do that. Not every time, but almost every time they seem to kinda know. It's weird.


Because women are constantly hit on from the time they are teens, remember men are usually the ones that have to come up to the women. Women just have to wait. Thats why.

A woman by the time she is 24 has been hit on thousands of times, this is how she knows!

uh, not really universally true. i've hit on way more guys than have ever hit on me. sometimes it worked out, sometimes it didn't. but i sure as heck didn't ever wait for the man to make a move, unless he was working so subtly that i didn't notice.


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happymusic
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24 Nov 2010, 7:07 pm

ZakFiend wrote:
CaptainTrips222 wrote:
I don't think I'm that obvious, but the second I go from natural conversation to the kind you create because you're interested, they seem to pick up on it. It's uncanny how they do that. Not every time, but almost every time they seem to kinda know. It's weird.


Because women are constantly hit on from the time they are teens, remember men are usually the ones that have to come up to the women. Women just have to wait. Thats why.

A woman by the time she is 24 has been hit on thousands of times, this is how she knows!


You know how some people are face blind? I think I'm "getting hit on blind". I've never known, so much so that I eventually became very withdrawn around men I didn't know well. I just can't tell if they have intentions other than the exact words they are speaking.



ZakFiend
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24 Nov 2010, 7:18 pm

happymusic wrote:
ZakFiend wrote:
CaptainTrips222 wrote:
I don't think I'm that obvious, but the second I go from natural conversation to the kind you create because you're interested, they seem to pick up on it. It's uncanny how they do that. Not every time, but almost every time they seem to kinda know. It's weird.


Because women are constantly hit on from the time they are teens, remember men are usually the ones that have to come up to the women. Women just have to wait. Thats why.

A woman by the time she is 24 has been hit on thousands of times, this is how she knows!


You know how some people are face blind? I think I'm "getting hit on blind". I've never known, so much so that I eventually became very withdrawn around men I didn't know well. I just can't tell if they have intentions other than the exact words they are speaking.


It's best to default to if a man is by himself and talking to you he has an interest in you. Most women always assume men who don't have any genuine other reason like say some task at work for talking to them is hitting on them. Just be aware of the environment you are in. If men are talking to you just ask if they are interested because you can't tell because you've always had trouble reading peoples interest, or offer to give your number to go for a coffee or something for a woman it should be drop dead easy.



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24 Nov 2010, 7:47 pm

ZakFiend wrote:
It's best to default to if a man is by himself and talking to you he has an interest in you. Most women always assume men who don't have any genuine other reason like say some task at work for talking to them is hitting on them.


What the hell? Some people do actually like to just be friendly y'know... :(



ZakFiend
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24 Nov 2010, 9:52 pm

Harpist wrote:
ZakFiend wrote:
It's best to default to if a man is by himself and talking to you he has an interest in you. Most women always assume men who don't have any genuine other reason like say some task at work for talking to them is hitting on them.


What the hell? Some people do actually like to just be friendly y'know... :(


You don't understand the majority of men do you? Having sexual interest in a girl and being her friend are not mutually exclusive, hence most guys have one mode... women they have not yet had sex with.



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24 Nov 2010, 10:04 pm

ZakFiend wrote:
Harpist wrote:
ZakFiend wrote:
It's best to default to if a man is by himself and talking to you he has an interest in you. Most women always assume men who don't have any genuine other reason like say some task at work for talking to them is hitting on them.


What the hell? Some people do actually like to just be friendly y'know... :(


You don't understand the majority of men do you? Having sexual interest in a girl and being her friend are not mutually exclusive, hence most guys have one mode... women they have not yet had sex with.

it seems like you are contradicting yourself, or it may be that i am misunderstanding. are you saying that men cannot possibly be both friends and sex partners with women? or are you saying that it is possible?

when you say they are not mutually exclusive, it seems to mean that a man can have both kinds of feelings about a girl. but then you say that men have only one mode. confusing.

by the way, Harpist is a man.


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katzefrau
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24 Nov 2010, 11:52 pm

Janissy wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
is there some reason why men would want to keep it secret? if there is no reason to hide your intention, then it shouldn't be a problem for the woman to be able to tell you are hitting on them. unless you were trying to be sneaky or something, which would frankly be silly.... because how can you seduce a person and keep them completely unaware, and why would you want to? (me=confused)


Question: How can you seduce a person and keep them completely unaware that you are doing so?
Answer: By being so subtle that the women don't even realize that they are being enticed into thinking of the man in romantic terms.


Question: Why would you want to?
Answer:So that the woman will feel like any ensuing romance is 100% her idea.

Of course women are highly tuned in to this (as the OP noticed) so that what is actually going on is a very subtle ritual whereby two people interact romantically on an almost subliminal level. This gives both an "opt out" in case it looks like nothing will happen. It also allows women to feel simultaneously like both the object and the subject of this interaction, which is very erotic when she actually is attracted. If she isn't attracted, she will still be far kinder in her rejection to a man who uses this subtlety than she will be to a man who is very forthright that she isn't attracted to. (This applies to NT women broadly, though there will always be exceptions)


oh, wow. i find this topic a bit creepy.

i must admit after reading the above i think if that was an interaction i had i would either fail to pick up on the interest or find it manipulative if the intent was for me not to know.

life must be very different when you can think five moves ahead like that, like playing chess.


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25 Nov 2010, 12:03 am

menintights wrote:
For some women, these include Things Men Talk about When They're Trying to Get Laid.


What might these things be?

I can't tell whether I usually notice being hit on or not. Unless I'm not hit on very often, I am probably missing it most of the time. I can tell, of course, when they're very obvious about it, though. Sometimes I am taken completely by surprise, having not realized a person was interested in me.


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26 Nov 2010, 12:13 pm

CaptainTrips222 wrote:
I don't think I'm that obvious, but the second I go from natural conversation to the kind you create because you're interested, they seem to pick up on it. It's uncanny how they do that. Not every time, but almost every time they seem to kinda know. It's weird.


I think NT women may find it easier to tell if someone's hitting on them but I don't think aspie women would find it that easy tell any more than an aspie man is able to tell if a woman is interested in him.



ZakFiend
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26 Nov 2010, 4:23 pm

hyperlexian wrote:
when you say they are not mutually exclusive, it seems to mean that a man can have both kinds of feelings about a girl. but then you say that men have only one mode. confusing.

by the way, Harpist is a man.


I know he is but he doesn't get how the majority of men function, the world does not work according to someones perceived values of how the world should work. It works according to it's own rules.

What I mean by having feelings of both kinds, sometimes you want to have sex with a girl but you can't decide whether you get along with her well enough. Feelings are ambivalent because relationships change over time.

This is why it only SEEMS contradictory, for instance most men will aim for sex/relationship and if rebuked settle for friends but still have the hopes of sleeping with her and possibly a relationship. Women and men are naturally attracted to one another, feelings come and go. What is true at one moment in time is not true at another. This is why things seem so contradictory and hence one can be friends with a girl and still have sexual feelings for a girl.

You're trying to apply strict rules to a time active phenomenon that rises and falls over time.



hyperlexian
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26 Nov 2010, 4:34 pm

ZakFiend wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
when you say they are not mutually exclusive, it seems to mean that a man can have both kinds of feelings about a girl. but then you say that men have only one mode. confusing.

by the way, Harpist is a man.


I know he is but he doesn't get how the majority of men function, the world does not work according to someones perceived values of how the world should work. It works according to it's own rules.

What I mean by having feelings of both kinds, sometimes you want to have sex with a girl but you can't decide whether you get along with her well enough. Feelings are ambivalent because relationships change over time.

This is why it only SEEMS contradictory, for instance most men will aim for sex/relationship and if rebuked settle for friends but still have the hopes of sleeping with her and possibly a relationship. Women and men are naturally attracted to one another, feelings come and go. What is true at one moment in time is not true at another. This is why things seem so contradictory and hence one can be friends with a girl and still have sexual feelings for a girl.

You're trying to apply strict rules to a time active phenomenon that rises and falls over time.

i thought you didn't realize that Harpist was a man, becuase you stated a rule, and he is living proof that your rule cannot be applied universally. as in, sometimes men and women are just friends, with neither one trying to have sex with the other.


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ZakFiend
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26 Nov 2010, 7:30 pm

hyperlexian wrote:
i thought you didn't realize that Harpist was a man, becuase you stated a rule, and he is living proof that your rule cannot be applied universally. as in, sometimes men and women are just friends, with neither one trying to have sex with the other.


And I was talking in terms of generalizations. Generalizations always have exceptions to the rule. "More often then not" is the generalization I was aiming at.



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07 Dec 2010, 8:33 pm

hale_bopp wrote:
CaptainTrips222 wrote:
I don't think I'm that obvious, but the second I go from natural conversation to the kind you create because you're interested, they seem to pick up on it. It's uncanny how they do that. Not every time, but almost every time they seem to kinda know. It's weird.


Its pretty easy.



Men are easier to read.



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07 Dec 2010, 9:10 pm

NoraTypical wrote:
hale_bopp wrote:
CaptainTrips222 wrote:
I don't think I'm that obvious, but the second I go from natural conversation to the kind you create because you're interested, they seem to pick up on it. It's uncanny how they do that. Not every time, but almost every time they seem to kinda know. It's weird.


Its pretty easy.



Men are easier to read.


Agreed, but even with remedial signals I'm still illiterate. :P



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07 Dec 2010, 10:52 pm

happymusic wrote:
NoraTypical wrote:
hale_bopp wrote:
CaptainTrips222 wrote:
I don't think I'm that obvious, but the second I go from natural conversation to the kind you create because you're interested, they seem to pick up on it. It's uncanny how they do that. Not every time, but almost every time they seem to kinda know. It's weird.


Its pretty easy.



Men are easier to read.


Agreed, but even with remedial signals I'm still illiterate. :P


Apparently I am as well. There's this one man I hadn't noticed a single "signal" from until, in a drunken state, he outright said "I find you very attractive." It seemed completely out of nowhere to me. Even in hindsight, I couldn't find what clues I'd been missing. :?


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