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GUYS: Do 'kept' women turn you on?

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emlion
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01 Dec 2010, 10:10 am

Bethie wrote:
Asp-Z wrote:
Bethie wrote:
Asp-Z wrote:
Besides, excluding asexual people, I don't think anyone can honestly say they've never had a BDSM fantasy anyways.


Uh...I know lots of sexuals who say they haven't, and who are generally disgusted by themes of dominance and deliberately inflicting pain on others, let alone being TURNED ON by them.


Say they haven't, yeah. Say they haven't. But do they honestly say they haven't? I doubt it.

Basic human nature says everyone is turned on by those things at some level. Evidence of this is even in mainstream sex - slapping a girl's bum while having sex with her is pretty normal, yet it's S&M, isn't it? Using handcuffs is thought of as kinky but not generally labeled as perverted or anything, yet it's bondage. It's also considered pretty normal to be turned on by uniforms, because they tend to connote authority, and therefore dominance.

Anyway, I really don't wish to get into an argument about this.


Um...I think you've been watching too much porn. 8O


I disagree completely. I think all people have an element of liking BDSM.
Just because it's not really acceptable (in some circles) doesn't mean people don't think about it - and they certainly wouldn't just admit to it, especially to perhaps you, when you have no inclination (that you'll admit) toward it.



Asp-Z
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01 Dec 2010, 10:11 am

emlion wrote:
I disagree completely. I think all people have an element of liking BDSM.
Just because it's not really acceptable (in some circles) doesn't mean people don't think about it - and they certainly wouldn't just admit to it, especially to perhaps you, when you have no inclination (that you'll admit) toward it.


Exactly. That's what I meant when I said that they may say they don't, but they don't honestly say it.



hyperlexian
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01 Dec 2010, 10:22 am

emlion wrote:
Bethie wrote:
Asp-Z wrote:
Bethie wrote:
Asp-Z wrote:
Besides, excluding asexual people, I don't think anyone can honestly say they've never had a BDSM fantasy anyways.


Uh...I know lots of sexuals who say they haven't, and who are generally disgusted by themes of dominance and deliberately inflicting pain on others, let alone being TURNED ON by them.


Say they haven't, yeah. Say they haven't. But do they honestly say they haven't? I doubt it.

Basic human nature says everyone is turned on by those things at some level. Evidence of this is even in mainstream sex - slapping a girl's bum while having sex with her is pretty normal, yet it's S&M, isn't it? Using handcuffs is thought of as kinky but not generally labeled as perverted or anything, yet it's bondage. It's also considered pretty normal to be turned on by uniforms, because they tend to connote authority, and therefore dominance.

Anyway, I really don't wish to get into an argument about this.


Um...I think you've been watching too much porn. 8O


I disagree completely. I think all people have an element of liking BDSM.
Just because it's not really acceptable (in some circles) doesn't mean people don't think about it - and they certainly wouldn't just admit to it, especially to perhaps you, when you have no inclination (that you'll admit) toward it.

i don't agree. i think most people who have sex are open-minded enough to at least try it, but that doesn't mean everyone likes it. a lot of people may try it and decide it's not for them. it's not totally universal to enjoy degradation or BDSM or even mild bondage, by any means. everyone has their own tastes.


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Bethie
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01 Dec 2010, 10:24 am

Asp-Z wrote:
emlion wrote:
I disagree completely. I think all people have an element of liking BDSM.
Just because it's not really acceptable (in some circles) doesn't mean people don't think about it - and they certainly wouldn't just admit to it, especially to perhaps you, when you have no inclination (that you'll admit) toward it.


Exactly. That's what I meant when I said that they may say they don't, but they don't honestly say it.


Let's be reasonable.

Which is more likely:

That everyone who doesn't subscribe to your Olympian proclamations about what's "natural" and universal about human nature is LYING

or that there is variation among people, and many of them DON'T LIKE CERTAIN THINGS?


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Asp-Z
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01 Dec 2010, 10:28 am

Bethie wrote:
Asp-Z wrote:
emlion wrote:
I disagree completely. I think all people have an element of liking BDSM.
Just because it's not really acceptable (in some circles) doesn't mean people don't think about it - and they certainly wouldn't just admit to it, especially to perhaps you, when you have no inclination (that you'll admit) toward it.


Exactly. That's what I meant when I said that they may say they don't, but they don't honestly say it.


Let's be reasonable.

Which is more likely:

That everyone who doesn't subscribe to your Olympian proclamations about what's "natural" and universal about human nature is LYING

or that there is variation among people, and many of them DON'T LIKE CERTAIN THINGS?


All I'm saying is, the basic concepts that come under BDSM are things that everyone, to some level, is turned on by. Whether or not they practise these things or talk about them is another thing entirely, as is whether or not the specific things they like are accepted by society or not.



emlion
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01 Dec 2010, 10:32 am

^ That.

I don't think anyone is suggesting ALL people are into hardcore BDSM or anything like that.
Just on some level, some form of BDSM is attractive.



Bethie
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01 Dec 2010, 10:35 am

Asp-Z wrote:
Bethie wrote:
Asp-Z wrote:
emlion wrote:
I disagree completely. I think all people have an element of liking BDSM.
Just because it's not really acceptable (in some circles) doesn't mean people don't think about it - and they certainly wouldn't just admit to it, especially to perhaps you, when you have no inclination (that you'll admit) toward it.


Exactly. That's what I meant when I said that they may say they don't, but they don't honestly say it.


Let's be reasonable.

Which is more likely:

That everyone who doesn't subscribe to your Olympian proclamations about what's "natural" and universal about human nature is LYING

or that there is variation among people, and many of them DON'T LIKE CERTAIN THINGS?


All I'm saying is, the basic concepts that come under BDSM are things that everyone, to some level, is turned on by. Whether or not they practise these things or talk about them is another thing entirely, as is whether or not the specific things they like are accepted by society or not.



What "basic concepts" are those, pray tell? Many of my friends are actively engaged if not employed in groups that oppose the sexualization of domination and pain, so I'm interested in more than the vagueries you allude to.


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Last edited by Bethie on 01 Dec 2010, 10:44 am, edited 1 time in total.

Bethie
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01 Dec 2010, 10:36 am

emlion wrote:
^ That.

I don't think anyone is suggesting ALL people are into hardcore BDSM or anything like that.
Just on some level, some form of BDSM is attractive.


Um...yeah, no.

I still want to know what qualifies you both to make such assertions.


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emlion
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01 Dec 2010, 10:40 am

Bethie wrote:
emlion wrote:
^ That.

I don't think anyone is suggesting ALL people are into hardcore BDSM or anything like that.
Just on some level, some form of BDSM is attractive.


Um...yeah, no.

I still want to know what qualifies you both to make such assertions.


It's just my opinion. - I didn't think a qualification was needed to have an opinion.
From my experience, every guy i've ever been with has liked a little BDSM.



Bethie
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01 Dec 2010, 10:43 am

emlion wrote:
Bethie wrote:
emlion wrote:
^ That.

I don't think anyone is suggesting ALL people are into hardcore BDSM or anything like that.
Just on some level, some form of BDSM is attractive.


Um...yeah, no.

I still want to know what qualifies you both to make such assertions.


It's just my opinion. - I didn't think a qualification was needed to have an opinion.
From my experience, every guy i've ever been with has liked a little BDSM.


All rightie. I just have a real problem with people proclaiming a PREFERENCE to be somehow inherrant to human nature. :roll:


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Asp-Z
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01 Dec 2010, 10:54 am

Again, I'm not saying that any one sexual preference is human nature, I'm saying some basic ideas are.

Psychology is an interest of mine so I read up on human behaviour and spend time analysing it, and sexuality is often key in such things, as Sigmund Freud pointed out a lot.

"Sadism is all right in its place, but it should be directed to proper ends." -Sigmund Freud
"The only unnatural sexual behavior is none at all." -Sigmund Freud

But anyways, I already said I didn't want to get into an argument over this, looks like I did anyway so I'll stop now. I've said what I think and you're entitled to your own opinion, of course.



Bethie
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01 Dec 2010, 10:59 am

Asp-Z wrote:
Again, I'm not saying that any one sexual preference is human nature, I'm saying some basic ideas are.

Psychology is an interest of mine so I read up on human behaviour and spend time analysing it, and sexuality is often key in such things, as Sigmund Freud pointed out a lot.

"Sadism is all right in its place, but it should be directed to proper ends." -Sigmund Freud
"The only unnatural sexual behavior is none at all." -Sigmund Freud

But anyways, I already said I didn't want to get into an argument over this, looks like I did anyway so I'll stop now. I've said what I think and you're entitled to your own opinion, of course.


Freud's posturing as an ethicist in the former quote
is only slightly more laughable than his ignorance on the subject of asexuality demonstrated by the latter.

And it really wasn't a question of opinion, but of something demonstrable to support your assertions of fact.


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Last edited by Bethie on 01 Dec 2010, 11:03 am, edited 1 time in total.

Asp-Z
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01 Dec 2010, 11:02 am

Well I'd already mentioned that elements of BDSM are considered mainstream.



Bethie
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01 Dec 2010, 11:05 am

Asp-Z wrote:
Well I'd already mentioned that elements of BDSM are considered mainstream.


So...we're conflating the prominence of a theme in one society at one time to it's being a universal preference of humanity?
Is that what this whole bit has been about?


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Asp-Z
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01 Dec 2010, 11:12 am

Bethie wrote:
So...we're conflating the prominence of a theme in one society at one time to it's being a universal preference of humanity?
Is that what this whole bit has been about?


A fair point. Perhaps a look at historic context would be useful, but I don't think data on sexual preferences throughout the centuries is available. There was apparently a large stone age dildo found by archeologists, that's not really relevant :lol:



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01 Dec 2010, 11:14 am

Bethie wrote:
What "basic concepts" are those, pray tell? Many of my friends are actively engaged if not employed in groups that oppose the sexualization of domination and pain, so I'm interested in more than the vagueries you allude to.


He did say this, didn't he?

Asp-Z wrote:
Basic human nature says everyone is turned on by those things at some level. Evidence of this is even in mainstream sex - slapping a girl's bum while having sex with her is pretty normal, yet it's S&M, isn't it? Using handcuffs is thought of as kinky but not generally labeled as perverted or anything, yet it's bondage. It's also considered pretty normal to be turned on by uniforms, because they tend to connote authority, and therefore dominance.


Brief, but a true statement. Dominance is a basic concept, and I think few females, especially, would say that a suit or strict-looking coat doesn't make a guy look better.

EDIT: Honestly, I think most guys would feel the same about other guys with such clothing, but they would oftentimes not be prepared to admit it.