Cyber spying/stalking, am I obsessed and a creep

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You're welcome, @TWP. Emotional healing is tricky business....it kind of happens in phases or waves. You think you're done with a particular feeling or feelings about a person, and another wave of emotion surges into your consciousness. (It can be so frustrating, cause you want to be done with it.)

But when you think about it, you realize that each "surge" is a bit less intense than the last, a bit shorter in duration. You just have to hang in, because some day the surge will be so small, you'll hardly notice it. Good luck.

IMO, she's being very unreasonable straight out blocking you like that, but all that shows is that she isn't worth your precious time. Indeed, time is the most valuable thing we possess. Don't waste yours on someone who doesn't even respect you.

Just remember the eternal wisdom of House M.D



[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mHtJfMB5u60[/youtube]

Part of my reason for my original post is because I was questioning my own ability to be reasonable. One conclusion I have come to is that most human beings believe themselves to be reasonable. Another conclusion I have made is that human beings who believe themselves to be reasonable sometimes are not as reasonable as they believe themselves to be. There may in fact be a continuum between being reasonable and unreasonable. I have to believe that I lie somewhere in that continuum.

Much of the obsessing I've been doing is pretty close to being unreasonable. The constant looking at her facebook page probably isn't doing me much good.

Yet desiring some mutual understanding between the two of us doesn't seem that unreasonable, given I don't obsess over it. The key word here is desiring. Expecting that mutual understanding might be a different story. Where expecting mutual understanding lies on the continuum, I hope is open for debate.

Another thing I have looked at is my belief that she has been unreasonable. Given my earlier conclusion, she fully believes that she is being reasonable. I am working my butt off to empathize with this (given my difficulties with empathy). There are things I know about her which I have not shared with the forum about her. Knowing these things, I can understand why she might feel like she is doing the reasonable thing.

Likewise, the court of popular opinion (that's you guys) believes themselves to be reasonable. I just have to ask everyone if they are as reasonable as they believe themselves to be.

Maybe this whole discussion is unreasonable on my part.

That's the key part -- reason.

Attraction isn't built on reason, it's not a rational (or not fully) decision -- it's based around a lot of other factors, many of them not ones you can reason through.

If someone isn't into someone, it's that simple -- you're never going to rationalize them into liking you, and you shouldn't want to, because it's a false victory.

I know very well how hard this is for you -- just soldier through it, because she isn't going to get any more reasonable. At this point, if I were you, I would be mortified and not want to talk to her anyways. My equivalent of your situation? Haven't talked to her in about 3 years, and while I've checked now and then (yes, I succumb too), I have resisted any urge to get back into contact, because the other person has made it clear through her actions that she is not interested in a friendship.

I doubt you've been harming her, she just doesn't want any more contact. The sooner you can accept this the better for you.