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Starygrrl's OKcupid Thread

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hyperlexian
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22 Dec 2010, 9:42 am

Kilroy wrote:
I was matched with freaks lol

and this surprises you?

i believe you are the third person on the thread to be surprised by the matches they got on OKCupid, but we are a bunch of aspies for goodness' sake! i imagine that people are matching with us on the site and saying, "oh great, i got matched with another weird freak." i think we forget how strange we really are in comparison to many NTs.


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Jono
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22 Dec 2010, 10:47 am

starygrrl wrote:
http://community.livejournal.com/okcupid_guide/3893.html.


Starygrrl, I've got question. I've been reading DC Merlin's guide to OKCupid, which you've linked to above. In chapter 8, which is a chapter about meeting people, there is a section about behaviour on the first meeting with someone. In that section it says that one shouldn't ask for a date on the first meeting and that should rather be mutually agreed upon by both parties either in advance or during the meeting. But if you can't ask about it then what is the proper way to come to a mutual agreement in the first place?



starygrrl
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22 Dec 2010, 11:04 am

Juno this is one of those unwritten etiquette things. You should follow up the first meeting by email or message and negotiate/ask for a date then. Ask if you would like to meet again for dinner, this would be the first date. I think this may be why Grisha was a bit confused because dating etiquette has changed from it used to be. The first meeting is just that, get to see the guy before any formal date. Usually some place in public to go out for drinks and coffee. I usually (as the girl) make sure I pay my own way for this. But I do expect the guy to ask for the date after this meeting. Its not a requirement.

This is kind of how the song and dance go.



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22 Dec 2010, 12:08 pm

hyperlexian wrote:
Kilroy wrote:
I was matched with freaks lol

and this surprises you?

i believe you are the third person on the thread to be surprised by the matches they got on OKCupid, but we are a bunch of aspies for goodness' sake! i imagine that people are matching with us on the site and saying, "oh great, i got matched with another weird freak." i think we forget how strange we really are in comparison to many NTs.


The highest match within 25 miles of me is some gamer vegetarian lass, who while a pretty lass (i'll give her that) would probably annoy the crap out of me in 5 minutes of opening her mouth. Though saying that I'm sure she gets thousands of offers all the time given her interests are mainly in video games and other geeky pursuits.



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22 Dec 2010, 12:11 pm

hyperlexian wrote:
Kilroy wrote:
I was matched with freaks lol

and this surprises you?

i believe you are the third person on the thread to be surprised by the matches they got on OKCupid, but we are a bunch of aspies for goodness' sake! i imagine that people are matching with us on the site and saying, "oh great, i got matched with another weird freak." i think we forget how strange we really are in comparison to many NTs.


I know I'm strange, but I don't want anyone else as strange or stranger then me
I only went on that site because some misguided idiot thought it would work
and it didn't



hyperlexian
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22 Dec 2010, 1:24 pm

Kilroy wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
Kilroy wrote:
I was matched with freaks lol

and this surprises you?

i believe you are the third person on the thread to be surprised by the matches they got on OKCupid, but we are a bunch of aspies for goodness' sake! i imagine that people are matching with us on the site and saying, "oh great, i got matched with another weird freak." i think we forget how strange we really are in comparison to many NTs.


I know I'm strange, but I don't want anyone else as strange or stranger then me
I only went on that site because some misguided idiot thought it would work
and it didn't

yeah, i understand i think. i don't go for people who are too much stranger than me either (though apparently that might be a difficult thing to achieve nonetheless). it doesn't work for everybody, that's for sure!


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nthach
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22 Dec 2010, 1:27 pm

weird, I match up with smart, liberal, urban women for the most part.



Kilroy
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22 Dec 2010, 1:30 pm

I just generally feel animosity towards other aspies, especially romantically
it would never work out (like it never worked out in the past)



hyperlexian
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22 Dec 2010, 1:41 pm

Laz wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
Kilroy wrote:
I was matched with freaks lol

and this surprises you?

i believe you are the third person on the thread to be surprised by the matches they got on OKCupid, but we are a bunch of aspies for goodness' sake! i imagine that people are matching with us on the site and saying, "oh great, i got matched with another weird freak." i think we forget how strange we really are in comparison to many NTs.


The highest match within 25 miles of me is some gamer vegetarian lass, who while a pretty lass (i'll give her that) would probably annoy the crap out of me in 5 minutes of opening her mouth. Though saying that I'm sure she gets thousands of offers all the time given her interests are mainly in video games and other geeky pursuits.

she sounds kind of cool.


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22 Dec 2010, 1:55 pm

Kilroy wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
Kilroy wrote:
I was matched with freaks lol

and this surprises you?

i believe you are the third person on the thread to be surprised by the matches they got on OKCupid, but we are a bunch of aspies for goodness' sake! i imagine that people are matching with us on the site and saying, "oh great, i got matched with another weird freak." i think we forget how strange we really are in comparison to many NTs.


I know I'm strange, but I don't want anyone else as strange or stranger then me
I only went on that site because some misguided idiot thought it would work
and it didn't


Odd, because I'm strange and I enjoy the company of my own kind much more than NTs...

~Kate


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starygrrl
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22 Dec 2010, 1:57 pm

Same here Kate. I like people who are off the beaten path.



Kilroy
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22 Dec 2010, 2:02 pm

people like that are hard to predict and understand
I've been around the bland crowd my entire life, its what I'm used to and what I know
the strange people often have more problems, problems i don't feel like dealing with



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22 Dec 2010, 2:15 pm

Kilroy wrote:
I just generally feel animosity towards other aspies


What then led you to post to an aspie forum almost 13,000 times?



Kilroy
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22 Dec 2010, 2:23 pm

well that wasn't always the case, I used to fit in very well here
but something happened and the sunshine went away



nthach
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23 Dec 2010, 1:47 am

What is the best way to message someone on okcupid? I think I came off too strong on my first 2-3.



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23 Dec 2010, 4:39 am

nthach wrote:
What is the best way to message someone on okcupid? I think I came off too strong on my first 2-3.


"Hey baby, you got nice tits."

I'm sure you'l be refreshingly direct and to the point

You shouldn't try to pretend that their not though

Failing that the mumra approach will probably go down a treat as well

Mumra's line