What IS the secret to attracting a man, emotionally?

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These are techniques people use to attract men? No wonder they think we're so f*****g confusing. Was this advice you got somewhere? If you care about the guy don't ignore him. It doesn't mean you have to sleep with him the first week you know him, but ignoring is so confusing. I never, ever ignored a guy I liked. I also always responded to them and made clear my intentions or interest. You can take a relationship slowly and still enjoy talking/texting etc.

And why would you tell a guy you wanted to just be friends if you were actually interested in more than that? (Am I misunderstanding?)

The premise of your thread confuses me (the techniques you mention) but in answer to your question - I've always gotten along really well with guys in general and I think it's maybe at least in part due to a similar way of thinking. I don't play games and I'm very up front about my intentions. I also really like joking around and flirting. I think guys just want to be appreciated for who they are as people and as men. As people, I try to be respectful of them just like anyone - and be kind, etc. - as men, I think it helps to be aware and have a playful attitude toward sexuality in general. It doesn't mean you have to put out right away, but by acknowledging and appreciating male sexuality in subtle ways, I think it helps the guy realize you care about him.

You know, I read through 3 pages of comments and I still agree with the first comment made. BOOBS.

Honestly, physical attraction is usually first. That's where the boobs are useful. After you've got him in the door, you have the dance of enforcing your need to be respected as a human being while also administering your own charm and interests. You get to know each other as equals and, if there's trust and compatibility, it's likely he will be emotionally invested in you.

There's no secret or tips or books that can give everyone a set list of tasks to accomplish. I read lots of books in my teens, including one titled "How to Make a Man Fall in Love with You" and do you know what it was about? How to make a man want to have sex with you when he has plenty of options. I guess the publishers didn't like that title.

The important thing - and this goes for NT women too - is not to be desperate. If you're desperate, you disrespect yourself and, already, you've disqualified yourself from him growing any long-term interest. But first... BOOBS!

As more of a face and energy guy myself (won't turn down the A&T but still have other priorities first) - have a style. For instance I worked with a girl who...hmmm...best way to resemble her look...Lilly Allen when she thinned down? This was back in 2005 or 2006 when I had gone away for a year and come back, she kind of did the whole SALT thing with her hair, got the 70's bangs, it took the sort of vibe and energy her natural look had and boosted it, made her look/vibe a lot more interesting.

Part of the trick is knowing the angles of your own appearance, think - does it project you? How can you play it off? What way of wearing your hair will enhance that aspect of self that you want to bring out? Stylizing grabs a lot of attention. Of course if you start trying to look like a superstar dj, wearing silver jackets/lipstick and putting geisha pins in your hair guys might start finding you a bit too angular for their tastes but still, without going to extremes, look at yourself the way Michelangelo looked at stone - what can I bring out and highlight?

This. Absolutely.

You are under the assumption that acting like a man will get a guy to care about you. So much revolves around physical beauty. If you are a bigger girl, then your love life will be a series of "pump and dumps" from men of higher perceived value than you. Ugly truth.

Two points

- make yourself look attractive in as natural a way as possible (don't go overboard on the hair and makeup) and wear attractive clothes (show a little cleavage but not too much cleavage sort of thing)

- entertain and challenge the guy using your intellect, be friendly and outgoing, keep him interested by being interesting.

most men are the same, but occasionally you'll hit one who is different
they are generally avoided as they can be troubling

I don't think an emotional attractiion can be planned or premeditated. there needs to be some chemistry involved.

A like self sufficient, natural women with good self esteem and a good sense of humor, but that doesn't make me love them.