Meaning of "nice guys finish last"?

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People wondering about why "nice guys finish last" should look up David DeAngelo on YouTube. He tells you exactly what you need to know.

Or this

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5rZ99SzygXs[/youtube]

Naw....sometimes it does ring true.
Nothing is quite so simple though.

both men and women can say that first, all in all, its hard to find good people. not just women or men

Shrug. You paint yourself into a corner with this type of logic. A friendship where one person does all the giving and another all the taking isn't a very good friendship. Why not try making same sex friends, then it's not an issue? Further, ask yourself the question of which bothers you more, being the guy stuck in the friend zone or being alone. Life doesn't always give easy choices. Personally, I'd rather be alone than spending a lot of time and effort on one-sided relationships just to say I had some, but that's just me. For me, this revelation came during middle school, and it's the one positive thing I think I learned there. In any case, the self pitying attitude is just not helpful for anything, so I suggest you get rid of it, or seek counseling to help you get rid of it.

I have a few same sex friends but the few I do have take advantage of me to. I'd rather have a couple friends who use me than be completely alone with no friends at all. Go completely crazy that way plus there's always a small chance I might could meet someone true them & in the case of the women friends; maybe one day after being hurt, used & abused by other guys enough; they will start liking me. I generally care & I actually feel better helping people than when I'm not. I'd rather something more equal or better yet a partner who will be there for me & I can be there for but I don't have that option

As long as you're choosing what you want, that's what counts. You are right that slim chance is better than none. Keeping a positive attitude is always helpful.

What I really want seems almost impossible. I'm just choosing the better of two very disappointing options

Hah, I find it funny that a majority of comments in this thread describe "nice guys" in a negative light. It can be easily turned around toward "alpha males" or as stated earlier "jerks". This is a very in the box way of thinking. How about the people who treat other people kindly genuinely want to treat others as they would like to be treated? It seems the majority of dialectics on this subject are very black and white.

I guess I didn't really think about the negative context that the saying held until now. I don't necessarily consider myself a nice guy, but I do try to treat people with kindness unless they betray my trust beyond forgiveness. It's naive and just plain dumb to think that everyone out there who treats you with kindness has some hidden agenda. We're all human beings and have had different experiences and up bringings. Though I could see the excessive gift giving as a bit much.

What does the media tell you to do? Buy the girl flowers, take her to dinner, etc. It's not like it came from nowhere, these things are learned behaviors. You see it work in the movies, why shouldn't it work in real life? It just doesn't, you live and you learn. Don't be so quick to judge those who learn more slowly, it all comes back around.

When bad boys finish first, their lady-lovers finish last.

Women aren't attracted to sexy bad boys - their genes are attracted to sexy bad boy genes.

The reason girls fall for the leader of the pack, or women have affairs with milkmen or Jon Duan, is to pass on good genes. It's the instinct for this, overriding wisdom.

But it's no excuse for if it breaks up your existing relationship, or leaves you with an unplanned kid while the bad boy does a runner. Instinct may be amoral, but that doesn't excuse immoral behaviour. We have rules and civilisation for a reason.


Want to feel loved? find someone who is "husband material".

As proof, consider this: women have more orgasms with a husband, but orgasms with an illicit lover are more likely to make children.

Personally, I find that weird.

So how hot are these milkmen exactly that I would want to have sex with them despite their being, y'know, milkmen?

And who's Jon Duan?

Sorry, I meant Don Juan!

"Milkman" is the stereotype, though that's british (and made fun of in an episode of Father Ted).

A genetic survey found between 10% and 1% of children are fathered this way. It's called the "milkman" effect (again, british).

A gentleman will always wait until his lover is fulfilled and orgasmed before he has one himself...

Now, now, do not going giving the WP community the wrong (vulgar) impression of New Zealanders.

I've heard it's naive & dangerous to think that people are genuinely being nice. The rezone nice guys have a hard time is because women write em off as being manipulative & wanting something. It's smart to be careful & have trust earned but people should be given a chance instead of being written off as bad simple because they seem too nice

Because being really nice to someone you just met means there are ulterior motives. Your treatment of someone reflects the state of your relationship with someone, and if your level isn't on par with hers, she will be weirded out. If she is at a 5, and you are at an 8, then she has to adjust to that, and there is plenty of other crap to deal with in anyone's life besides another guy who is at level 8 already.