Darn it - women flirt with me and don't even see it!

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All I know is that it was obvious to both of my friends she was flirtting. Maybe it was in the body language. I don't know. I can't read body language any better than I can read Mandarin Chinese

Hi all, thanks for all your views on the subject, here's a twist....

Sometimes I am told that I myself have been flirting with someone, now that is where the real trouble begins.

Example:
Today I went to get my new glasses from the shop. As I put them on, my vision clearly improves and I look at the girl and say "Wauv, you look really good now"... menaing, that the glasses where just perfect. She instantly became all red in the face, and even I understood that I may have sent the wrong message there, so I immediately looked away, just to get into even more trouble... Next to me was a pretty girl and her mother, and they where trying on different products. The mother kept encouraging the daugther and telling her that these and these looked nice. Suddenly I found myself looking straight at the girl and look her in the eyes and say, "those look really good on you"... She instantly smiled at me and now even I knew that she thought I was flirting with her, when all my intention was, was to help her decide.

Anyone get in trouble saying stuff they mean in one way and that can be interpret otherwise as flirting?

I would LOVE to master that flirting stuff, so any pointers would be nice

/AG

Hi Emilion,

That one is actually not that difficult to comprehend. There is a difference between men and women on their spatial perception, which goes like this:

Men where hunters, back in the day, so their brain and sight where preprogrammed to search one area at a time to seek out prey. When a man looks at a woman, he will "discover" her piece by piece, from top to bottom, to see if she is indeed a woman. BUT men also have a an innate interest in "boobs" since it is something that is very fascinating to them, because they do not have them themselves. Some guys gets all weird over boobs and can't stop looking, but that is just rude behaviour and cannot be excused.

Women have periferal sight, meaning that they can "check out the whole package" from head to toe, in one glance. Studies show that women are just as "bad" as men, and they too check out the crouch of the man, to check to see if he indeed is a man. But since no one can see where they are looking, because they are looking everywhere at the same time, the don't get "caught".

These behaviours are hardwired in our Limbic System, i believe, and is out of our control, it is the animal in us that control this

Ever seen a man standing in front of the fridge asking he wife where the blo.... butter is? Only to see her go right up to it and picking it out, handing it over with a grimace telling him "Come on.....". Same reason as the above.

/AG

I'm terrible at picking up on flirting too, but a buddy gave me some decent advice:

1. If her behavior is pretty different (in a positive sense) than that of other women, she's probably interested

2. If your gut tells you she's flirting, she probably is

3. When in doubt, assume she's flirting, think of it as a low-risk, high-reward thing

Honorable mention: In my experience, if a girl offers you her number without you asking for it, you're pretty much golden (her interest is about as subtle as a brick to the head in several aspects by this point anyway)

Papa_Smurf, thanks for the guide, very useful advice actually!

Not being an American, but an European, that "giving you her number" routine is not very helpful, since that is not THE clue in many European cultures, so I need to figure out another clue, that I can use instead.

Any Europeans able to give me the "continental clue"?

/AG

Is 'gosh you're sooo short' flirting?

If so, then I am the King of the Flirted.

When people would flirt with me it would fly over my head. I wouldn't notice until the situation was over. Now I'm better at detecting it and I'm a huge flirt when I'm really attracted to someone.

So that's why my husband can never find stuff in the fridge.

(And you are absolutely right and that's exactly how it happens.)

Your not the only one, my whole life I get home at night and only then when I process the days events realize some woman was flirting with me.

What's blo.... butter?

I had a lot of good-natured ribbing from the opposite gender, but AS can make you feel blind to what they're really doing.

bloody butter

I am pretty oblivious to the flirting. Sometimes I analyze the encounters afterwards and kick myself for not seeing what should have been blatant.

Just yesterday, after serving a customer, a co-worker asked me "did you get her number?" and I'm like, "huh?"

I think the husband is a closeted vampire. He has blood stashed in the fridge but isn't ready to reveal the secret to his wife yet. He almost let it slip.

Wow, I thought I was the only one.
Just yesterday, this girl was flirting with me in spanish class, but I didn't realize it until after class when a friend pointed it out to me.

I have had a woman flirt with me and I thought she was being mean to me so I started being mean back so she left. As soon as she was gone my friends came over to me saying what the f**k was that? I am known by friends as being super oblivious to the advances of women. I once went to a bar with my friends when I was in my 20's a women was flirting with me and I did not even know she was talking to me so I when I left the bar her friends started messing with me asking me if I was gay and who do you think you are sort of thing. I wonder if I hurt anyone's feelings. Now that I am fat and jobless I do not have women flirting with me so I guess I solved that problem.

Even if I knew I was being flirted with I probably would not act on it. I do not like to be touched or looked at. I even feel uncomfortable talking on the phone.

Last edited by Todesking on 04 Mar 2011, 2:13 am, edited 2 times in total.

I was accused of this so much when I was younger that my teachers did everything they could to get me to stare at people's noses especially women.