Dealing with a meltdown in a long-term relationship

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You might see if he's willing to dial back his caffeine intake. I did that years ago when I noticed my temper was shorter. And I think you've already laid out the best way to deal with a meltdown; walk away and leave him to it. I steer clear of my NT girlfriend when she's in a similar mood. Sometimes it's all you can do with a cranky person.

I would say that if the problem is accelerating that he's either suffering from depression, a caffeine problem or something else is bothering him. Probably work as you said.

As for the breaking things, you should mention it after he cools down. Every time. Hopefully the disapproval adds up over time and he remembers it before playing Hulk Smash with your sh*t.

And that, ladies and gentleman, is how it's done. Hat's off, @leejosepho - you've shared a compelling example of the tough choices that have to be made in order to affect serious change in one's life. When an individual makes the commitment to do whatever it takes to eliminate an offending/dangerous/destructive behavior - it will be gone. Drugs, alcohol, cheating, lying, gambling, food, raging, stealing, etc., don't stand a chance against a person who has decided to live his/her life differently. Thank you so much for sharing that part of your life - it's truly beautiful.