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roadGames
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03 May 2011, 12:27 am

God dammit, guys.

Stop treating every girl like she might be The One. They're all just some girl until you've been dating them for a while.



Bethie
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03 May 2011, 12:37 am

Another_Alien wrote:
Bethie wrote:
I'd kill to be find a man capable of writing such powerfully heartfelt things, and brave enough to share them with me.

If that's unmanly somehow, I guess I don't want a "real" man.


What he wrote was brilliant. It's his unwillingness to do anything about his current predicament that I was referring to.

And I didn't say he wasn't a real man just that women - generally - are attracted to assertiveness in men.

Bethie - please don't keep skewing what I write. lol


Oh did I address you? I didn't think so.


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For there is another kind of violence, slower but just as deadly, destructive as the shot or the bomb in the night. This is the violence of institutions; indifference and inaction and slow decay.


Last edited by Bethie on 03 May 2011, 12:41 am, edited 1 time in total.

Bethie
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03 May 2011, 12:40 am

roadGames wrote:
God dammit, guys.

Stop treating every girl like she might be The One. They're all just some girl until you've been dating them for a while.


I kind of see the opposite-
treating every girl like she's interchangeable with the rest (makes sense if you're after a d!ck cushion, not a relationship)
and therefore aiming for whatever the going theory is that "most" women want,
as opposed to trying to find *one* who, ya know, likes you for you and shares your interests and all that bunk.


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For there is another kind of violence, slower but just as deadly, destructive as the shot or the bomb in the night. This is the violence of institutions; indifference and inaction and slow decay.


roadGames
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03 May 2011, 1:03 am

swbluto wrote:
jagatai wrote:
Sorry to respond to your posts like I'm stalking you or something but...

STOP BEATING YOURSELF UP!

You wrote a good letter.


No he didn't! A primary purpose of the letter was to start a relationship with the person, and basically stating "I'm a loser who does loserish things and I have a god damn negative attitude and you're such a wonderful perfect person I'd love to be with if ONLY you'd give me a chance!" is the thing that causes girls to RUUUUUNNN!! !

Because...

A) Your social positioning is lowered.
B) You elevated her social positioning.

And, by the fact he's elevated her 'worth' above his 'worth', he's automatically out of her league.

What you need to do is THE OPPOSITE where your status is higher than hers! Or, at the very least, make it equal. Geez, people. Learn something about the social hierarchy.


If anyone can even barely understand this post, then they're 90% of the way there to figuring out women.

Even if you're prettier than the girl, it's STILL all about social positioning. When you are in a lower social position than them, then you are about as unattractive as it gets. Which is why I got rejected by this humble looking girl.

I took Brianrun's approach with the humble looking girl. Even though I got along with that girl amazingly well, she still did not want a date with me. Why? Because I totally made myself look like a desperate loser in front of her doing a Brianrun's approach and getting all sentimental before we even got physical.

A few months later, I got a cute girl to date me. She thought I was extremely chill and I did not invest at all in her initially. Why? Because I had other things going on in my life more important than some dorky (yet awesome) girl.



Last edited by roadGames on 03 May 2011, 1:14 am, edited 1 time in total.

Bethie
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03 May 2011, 1:06 am

Why are you posting women's picture on-site (I'm assuming) without their permission?


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For there is another kind of violence, slower but just as deadly, destructive as the shot or the bomb in the night. This is the violence of institutions; indifference and inaction and slow decay.


roadGames
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03 May 2011, 1:09 am

Bethie wrote:
roadGames wrote:
God dammit, guys.

Stop treating every girl like she might be The One. They're all just some girl until you've been dating them for a while.


I kind of see the opposite-
treating every girl like she's interchangeable with the rest (makes sense if you're after a d!ck cushion, not a relationship)
and therefore aiming for whatever the going theory is that "most" women want,
as opposed to trying to find *one* who, ya know, likes you for you and shares your interests and all that bunk.


if you're like me, the girl will not be interchangeable after you find out that she likes you. my going theory is that women want a nice, confident guy.



Bethie
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03 May 2011, 1:13 am

swbluto wrote:
No he didn't! A primary purpose of the letter was to start a relationship with the person,

The PURPOSE was to confess his feelings, as he hoped they were mutual. They weren't.
swbluto wrote:
and basically stating "I'm a loser who does loserish things and I have a god damn negative attitude and you're such a wonderful perfect person I'd love to be with if ONLY you'd give me a chance!"

We must have read different letters.
swbluto wrote:
is the thing that causes girls to RUUUUUNNN!! !

I can't imagine a woman who wouldn't love a letter like that from a man...
if she felt that way about him.
swbluto wrote:
Because...

A) Your social positioning is lowered.
B) You elevated her social positioning.

And, by the fact he's elevated her 'worth' above his 'worth', he's automatically out of her league.
What you need to do is THE OPPOSITE where your status is higher than hers! Or, at the very least, make it equal. Geez, people. Learn something about the social hierarchy.

Bullsh*t. Women aren't synonymous with obsession with "social positioning". But then, not everyone needs to cling to the idea of a "social hierarchy" of people because they're too frightened or irrational to see them as unique human beings with desires and preferences.

RoadGames wrote:
Because I totally made myself look like a desperate loser in front of her doing a Brianrun's approach and getting all sentimental before we even got physical.

Well gawd, what woman wants all that "sentimental" stuff before the dirty deed? :roll:


_________________
For there is another kind of violence, slower but just as deadly, destructive as the shot or the bomb in the night. This is the violence of institutions; indifference and inaction and slow decay.


Last edited by Bethie on 03 May 2011, 1:19 am, edited 1 time in total.

roadGames
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03 May 2011, 1:15 am

Bethie wrote:
Why are you posting women's picture on-site (I'm assuming) without their permission?


didn't think it would offend people. i post on different sorts of forums than this usually.



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03 May 2011, 1:18 am

roadGames wrote:
my going theory is that women want a nice, confident guy.

So then why adopt an elaborate front in order to appeal to the hierarchical structure you a. create out of thin air and b. ascribe to be some objective rulebook 3.5 billion people refer to when it comes to dating, based on their genitalia? That's not nice...that's irrational and scared sh*tless, to the point of clinging to absurdist fantasies in order to make sense of women being INDIVIDUALS, SOME OF WHOM DON'T LIKE YOU. NOT YOUR "METHOD". *YOU*.


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For there is another kind of violence, slower but just as deadly, destructive as the shot or the bomb in the night. This is the violence of institutions; indifference and inaction and slow decay.


Bethie
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03 May 2011, 1:21 am

roadGames wrote:
Bethie wrote:
Why are you posting women's picture on-site (I'm assuming) without their permission?


didn't think it would offend people. i post on different sorts of forums than this usually.


You didn't think it'd offend people for you to post pictures of failed and succeeded "conquests" for comparison without the permission of the WOMEN IN THE PHOTOS.

I agree with the person who just e-mailed me suggesting you're a troll in the style of Dick Masterson.


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For there is another kind of violence, slower but just as deadly, destructive as the shot or the bomb in the night. This is the violence of institutions; indifference and inaction and slow decay.


roadGames
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03 May 2011, 1:25 am

Bethie wrote:
swbluto wrote:
No he didn't! A primary purpose of the letter was to start a relationship with the person,

The PURPOSE was confess his feelings,as he hoped they were. They weren't.
swbluto wrote:
and basically stating "I'm a loser who does loserish things and I have a god damn negative attitude and you're such a wonderful perfect person I'd love to be with if ONLY you'd give me a chance!"

We must have read different letters.
swbluto wrote:
is the thing that causes girls to RUUUUUNNN!! !

I can't imagine a woman who wouldn't love a letter like that from a man...
if she felt that way about him.
swbluto wrote:
Because...

A) Your social positioning is lowered.
B) You elevated her social positioning.

And, by the fact he's elevated her 'worth' above his 'worth', he's automatically out of her league.
What you need to do is THE OPPOSITE where your status is higher than hers! Or, at the very least, make it equal. Geez, people. Learn something about the social hierarchy.

Bullsh*t. Women aren't synonymous with obsession with "social positioning". But then, not everyone needs to cling to the idea of a "social hierarchy" of people because they're too frightened or irrational to see them as unique human beings with desires and preferences.

RoadGames wrote:
Because I totally made myself look like a desperate loser in front of her doing a Brianrun's approach and getting all sentimental before we even got physical.

Well gawd, what woman wants all that "sentimental" stuff before the dirty deed? :roll:


90% of the girls I get. I should've said "getting all sentimental before I even knew she was interested in me." Then again, Brianruns level sentimental doesn't even come with some girls. Both girls I spoke about earlier got that level of sentimentality, but with the second girl, it was way more gradual and eventually we just agreed that we should be in an exclusive relationship because we were in love.

Believe it or not, girls fall in love much slower than men do.



Bethie
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03 May 2011, 1:32 am

roadGames wrote:
Believe it or not, girls fall in love much slower than men do.

I believe no simplistic statement made about billions of people on no more substantive a basis than categories of naughty bits.


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For there is another kind of violence, slower but just as deadly, destructive as the shot or the bomb in the night. This is the violence of institutions; indifference and inaction and slow decay.


roadGames
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03 May 2011, 1:40 am

Bethie wrote:
roadGames wrote:
my going theory is that women want a nice, confident guy.

So then why adopt an elaborate front in order to appeal to the hierarchical structure you a. create out of thin air and b. ascribe to be some objective rulebook 3.5 billion people refer to when it comes to dating, based on their genitalia? That's not nice...that's irrational and scared sh*tless, to the point of clinging to absurdist fantasies in order to make sense of women being INDIVIDUALS, SOME OF WHOM DON'T LIKE YOU. NOT YOUR "METHOD". *YOU*.


ummm, if you don't believe people immediately place others into hierarchical social structures, then you can throw out a lot of social psychology research. if you don't think those hierarchical social structures would influence dating, then you're probably really disconnected from reality.

there is no method besides talking to a ton of people.



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03 May 2011, 1:46 am

roadGames wrote:
ummm, if you don't believe people immediately place others into hierarchical social structures, then you can throw out a lot of social psychology research. if you don't think those hierarchical social structures would influence dating, then you're probably really disconnected from reality.


What you must have missed from social psychology research:
this type of systemization is dogmatic among some individuals and cultures and virtually absent in others, as evidenced by this conversation- some people simply do not think in that way.
I've certainly never heard of a hierarchy wherein disclosing your romantic feelings toward someone and admiring their talents means assigning yourself to a lower "rung" of some ladder.



roadGames wrote:
there is no method besides talking to a ton of people.

Really? You couldn't meet people with similar interests and lifestyles via clubs and organizations, or people at work who share a passion for your profession, or fellow students considering a similar career path?

There's REALLY no "method" other than blindly asking out dozens upon dozens upon dozens of people in the naive belief one will be perfect for you?

That's not very smart.


_________________
For there is another kind of violence, slower but just as deadly, destructive as the shot or the bomb in the night. This is the violence of institutions; indifference and inaction and slow decay.


Last edited by Bethie on 03 May 2011, 1:51 am, edited 2 times in total.

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03 May 2011, 1:47 am

Bethie wrote:
swbluto wrote:
No he didn't! A primary purpose of the letter was to start a relationship with the person,

The PURPOSE was to confess his feelings, as he hoped they were mutual. They weren't.
swbluto wrote:
and basically stating "I'm a loser who does loserish things and I have a god damn negative attitude and you're such a wonderful perfect person I'd love to be with if ONLY you'd give me a chance!"

We must have read different letters.


Same letter, semantically equivalent purposes yet different interpretations. That's perfectly fine as we all have unique perspectives.

Quote:
swbluto wrote:
is the thing that causes girls to RUUUUUNNN!! !

I can't imagine a woman who wouldn't love a letter like that from a man...
if she felt that way about him.


That's a pretty big if, especially considering the status of the relationship at that point (assuming there was one at all).
Quote:
swbluto wrote:
Because...

A) Your social positioning is lowered.
B) You elevated her social positioning.

And, by the fact he's elevated her 'worth' above his 'worth', he's automatically out of her league.
What you need to do is THE OPPOSITE where your status is higher than hers! Or, at the very least, make it equal. Geez, people. Learn something about the social hierarchy.

Bullsh*t. Women aren't synonymous with obsession with "social positioning". But then, not everyone needs to cling to the idea of a "social hierarchy" of people because they're too frightened or irrational to see them as unique human beings with desires and preferences.


The existence of social positioning doesn't exclude the existence of unique preferences and desires and compatible personalities. They all mutually exist. The fact of the matter is, the more desperate and clingy he acts with his lowered self-worth relative to her , the more he's going to repel someone he's interested in, everything else being equal.



Last edited by swbluto on 03 May 2011, 1:48 am, edited 1 time in total.

roadGames
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03 May 2011, 1:48 am

Bethie wrote:
roadGames wrote:
Believe it or not, girls fall in love much slower than men do.

I believe no simplistic statement made about billions of people on no more substantive a basis than categories of naughty bits.


these statements can't be made with any certainty, but this idea that women are totally vulnerable in the dating game is total horsesh*t. there's girls out there that just use guys to boost their abysmal self-esteem and they're just as bad as any guy that has sex with a different girl every weekend.